Do you have the Right ?

[Billy UK]

Many think they have a RIGHT to be bitter or resentful. The key to overcoming this septic behavior is to remove this thinking.

Stephen Diamond, Ph.D., defines bitterness as “a chronic and pervasive state of smoldering resentment,” and deservedly regards it as “one of the most destructive and toxic of human emotions.” It is the inevitable result of becoming obsessed with blaming someone (or something) else for our misery.

Bitterness starts with unforgiveness, but takes root through resentment. • Resentment is that deep feeling of displeasure or anger that we have toward someone because of a past offense. It is our painful memory of past hurts. Resentment always grows into bitterness and turns against you.

Hebrews 12:14-16 (KJV)​

14 Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:

15 Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled.

Matthew 6:14-16 (KJV)
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14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:

15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

 

[Dave-W]

There are very few things listed in scripture as “rights.”

We need to get the idea of rights out of our minds altogether.

 

[Dave-W]

And you are absolutely correct that holding a grudge (aka lack of forgiveness) is specifically taught against in scripture.

 

[Billy UK]

And you are absolutely correct that holding a grudge (aka lack of forgiveness) is specifically taught against in scripture.

Thiers many examples and in one parable through unforgiveness the unforgiving servant was handed over to the tormenters as unforgiveness is a desire for vengeance instead of mercy.

James 2:13 (KJV)
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13 For he shall have judgment without mercy, that hath shewed no mercy; and mercy rejoiceth against judgment.

Matthew 18:23-35 (KJV)
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23 Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants.

24 And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents.

25 But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made.

26 The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.

27 Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt.

28 But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellowservants, which owed him an hundred pence: and he laid hands on him, and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest.

29 And his fellowservant fell down at his feet, and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.

30 And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt.

31 So when his fellowservants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done.

32 Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me:

33 Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?

34 And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him.

35 So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.

 

[Tigger45]

Amen, this is one of our readings from today’s service.

Matthew 5:38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. if anyone would sue you and take your tunic,8 let him have your cloak as well. forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 9 what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

 

[Larniavc]

Holding a grudge is basically depressive rumination. This can be treated readily with CBT.

No need to over complicate things.

 

[Carl Emerson]

Bitterness and resentment can also have a spiritual component that needs attending to.

In many , but not all cases, we lead believers through the following sequence.


Confession - agreeing with His word regarding the sinful nature of the condition.

Repentance - finding godly sorrow through conviction and determining to change behaviours.

Renounciation - refusing - by declaration against - any spiritual entity(s) involved in motivating this sinful behaviour. (this is not prayer but a declaration in His Name)

Cleansing - through the spilled blood of Jesus.

Healing - attending to any damage caused by the the sinful attitude (this can be physical in some cases)

Infilling - Asking the holy Spirit to occupy and fill with His light and peace, areas that were occupied by self and darkness.


We see serious release and restoration in lives following this approach with the Lords help.

 

[Lazarus Long]

Would that be like blaming satan for evil?

 

[Carl Emerson]

Each individual case is different.

Matters are attended to in the human soul first. In some cases there is no spiritual component, just the sin of the flesh.

 

[pleinmont]

Everyone has, or should have, the absolute right to do as they wish providing they are not hurting others.

 

[Tanj]

Stephen Diamond, Ph.D.

Hmm. I should change my username to Tanj, Ph.D.

 

[durangodawood]

If you dont have the right to be bitter.... then someone else could legitimately force you to be not-bitter.

Not sure how they'd do that tho.