I'm just curious about this. I notice that most people here on CF seem to come into a conversation with an opinion they want to lay out, rather than wanting to exchange ideas or even.. *gasp*.. change their minds or views on something. I honestly don't know the last time I saw someone say "You know what? You're right. You've helped me see that in a totally new way."
When you sign onto CF, do you come in like a bull, ready to charge into the conversations with your views and opinions being brandished like a weapon, ready to smack others in the face with them? Or do you come in thinking "what can I learn from someone else on CF today?" Or are you somewhere in between? Or is it neither, and right now you're thinking "That Inkachu, she just THINKS way too much!"?
There are many reasons I post on C F, but to be honest, as an atheist...I think the biggest reason I come on here is to challenge the ideas and beliefs of others. I've had my beliefs challenged as well, I've even come to form new beliefs based on conversations I've had here. When someone can get me to consider something I really felt I've never considered before...I'll let them know. It doesn't happen often, but I let them know.
No one likes to admit they're wrong though. That's normal. Personally, I have a much higher opinion of those posters who can admit they're wrong. There are however, indications that you've gotten through to someone and challenged their belief or opinion in a way that forces them to consider something they haven't considered before...perhaps even realize they're wrong. The biggest clue you've done this is.....silence.
A good question during a friendly debate is one that forces the other person to consider something they haven't. Something that challenges the truth of what they believe. If done correctly, you typically get one of two responses.
1. They answer you with something that doesn't acknowledge your question, is obviously insulting, or flat out tries to change the topic. This is defensive thinking. It's someone who realizes they're mistaken...and depending on how badly they take it...wants to avoid changing their belief/opinion.
2. Total silence. Either they act like you never even posted the question you asked them...or they stop posting altogether. If you want a good example of this, I can link you to it. There was a thread recently regarding "evidence" and there were about 3-4 christians there who had a response for every point every atheist made. Some were really good points, some weren't, then I posted a question with a rather unavoidable conclusion. 3 of the posters seemed to have decided, at the same time, to stop posting entirely on a thread they were deeply into for weeks...right up until hours before I made my post. The fourth did actually respond to my post by essentially saying "you're wrong about this, but I don't currently have time to explain why, I'll post why you're wrong later when I have time". I told him i understand, and I'll be waiting to respond in full whenever he gets around to making his post. He never came back to the thread even though he's made several lengthy posts on other threads since then.
Now, I know those aren't the responses we'd like. We want the other person to come out and say, "yea, I hadn't considered that before, you're right" but most people have far too much pride for that. The best you can hope for I M O is for them to run from the post entirely.
