Do you feel constrained?

[KeilCoppes]

When you meet someone that you strike up a little bit more than the ordinary conversation and you start learning about one another, do you feel constrained to start focusing more on them and passing by other contacts and possibilities?

I usually do - is that something any of the rest of you find? Although there's nothing solid there, the idea of faithfulness starts to kick in...

 

[krstg]

I don't get the feeling of being constrained. I would definitely feel a connection, but the idea of faithfulness wouldn't kick in. The idea of "could he be the one?" kicks in, however, and I usually try to get that out of my head before I get carried away too soon -- especially if I get along really well with the person, but haven't known him for too long.

 

[Stanfi]

I can relate to what you are saying. When you meet someone and they catch your attention, it is easy to get absorbed in them. However, I don't think this is to healthy. In our minds we can fathom marrying that person, and they might not even be that interested. Just leads to dissapointment and heartache.

 

[the_man]

No, not really. Perhaps this is because I've only met less than a handful of women that I would consider being in a serious relationship with. Most women I meet I know early on that nothing more than something that resembles a friendship will come out of the encounter.

 

[chanis]

mmm I don't think that would be the case for me...thought might arise where I think this can be a possibilty but I don't take them seriously at all...because you can be reading into something thats not necessarily there

 

[justasinner]

It a way that you and this new person start to become one aka your looking to see if this person is the one that you will marry.

But if you start looking at those others, then in your heart you are cheating on this person your with.

And those who do not do this they are not looking at this person to become a spouse. Only just have a friendship with is person

 

[the_man]

But if you start looking at those others, then in your heart you are cheating on this person your with.

hmm, but the point is that you are not WITH this person yet. You just started to have "conversations that are more than the ordinary"

And those who do not do this they are not looking at this person to become a spouse. Only just have a friendship with is person

And what is so terrible about that? Surely you want to know such a person thru friendship first before you can realize any potential for a spouse, no?

 

[JPPT1974]

It a way that you and this new person start to become one aka your looking to see if this person is the one that you will marry.

But if you start looking at those others, then in your heart you are cheating on this person your with.

And those who do not do this they are not looking at this person to become a spouse. Only just have a friendship with is person

First just have a friendship and see where it goes. Don't rush into things all of a sudden because things don't happen overnight. As God isn't a genie in a bottle that's going to grant you your every wish.

 

[justasinner]

What you have to remember is that we all (human beings) are three beings; the first is the spiritual being, the second is the intellectual, and third is be animal being.

The first to react is the animal instinct which directly controls the intellectual being until the brain has time to analyze the data and make the right decision. Then and only then does the intellectual being take control. And when the animal being reacts toward another human being it does not want a friendship it want a mate, even if it has one at home.

But what controls of both the intellectual and animal beings is the spiritual being. And even in a conversation your heart being controlled by your spiritual being will limit yourself to that one person until your intellect has decided what relationship it wants from that person. Its a way that your spiritual being tries to keep you in the right path with God.

And for a person to be happy all three beings MUST be in harmony with each other. If not then one being will try to force the others into giving in a little to fulfil it needs and in doing so one can sin against God and mankind.

 

[Apollonian]

Social propriety is the bain of my existence. Yet, it is recognizably useful and necessary. There is something behind the feeling of constraint to continue developing current relationships rather than always looking for new ones.

If we were always looking for new relationships, we would miss out on a lot of information about people that we wouldn't not gain otherwise. Often it is so difficult to connect with people in the first place, that when we do begin a connection, it is important that we continue it.

Yet, this shouldn't keep us from meeting new people too, just not at the cost of being rude or hurtful.

 

[the_man]

What you have to remember is that we all (human beings) are three beings; the first is the spiritual being, the second is the intellectual, and third is be animal being.

The first to react is the animal instinct which directly controls the intellectual being until the brain has time to analyze the data and make the right decision. Then and only then does the intellectual being take control. And when the animal being reacts toward another human being it does not want a friendship it want a mate, even if it has one at home.

But what controls of both the intellectual and animal beings is the spiritual being. And even in a conversation your heart being controlled by your spiritual being will limit yourself to that one person until your intellect has decided what relationship it wants from that person. Its a way that your spiritual being tries to keep you in the right path with God.

And for a person to be happy all three beings MUST be in harmony with each other. If not then one being will try to force the others into giving in a little to fulfil it needs and in doing so one can sin against God and mankind.

Okay. You still didn't answer my questions though

 

[JPPT1974]

Social propriety is the bain of my existence. Yet, it is recognizably useful and necessary. There is something behind the feeling of constraint to continue developing current relationships rather than always looking for new ones.

If we were always looking for new relationships, we would miss out on a lot of information about people that we wouldn't not gain otherwise. Often it is so difficult to connect with people in the first place, that when we do begin a connection, it is important that we continue it.

Yet, this shouldn't keep us from meeting new people too, just not at the cost of being rude or hurtful.

We need to also get to know each other as friends and be just ourselves. Because if we hide behind a "facade" then we are nothing but phonies and not the way just people want us to be but also what God wants us to be.