do you ever wonder?

[beetlequeendiva]

Do you ever wonder how things would have turned out if you hadn't been abused? I mean I was sitting here thinking today that I probably wouldn't be a christian but I also wouldnt' have had all the hurt in my life, I probably wouldn't have ended up pregnant. I know that I love being a Christian and having God in my life but I wonder if things would have been completely different if i hadn't been abused, I mean in the long run I turned to the Church because I needed someway of getting out of that house. *sigh* I guess I'm just having one of those days where I'm just not sure about things. I think everything over in my head, all the things I've done since the abuse came out and all the things I wish I could change. I think about all the things that happened to me in my life at the hands of other people and I wonder why people do things like that.

 

[Yasha]

Da Bomb Diggity, baby. I don't have a clue!

 

[luv4godremains]

I wonder! I think it's kinda hard not to wonder at least smoetimes, cos when something has hurt you soo much, you wish it had never happened, and then you see some good things come out of it, but you know that the pain isn't just gonna go away bacause of one or two good things! I dunno hun, I guess it's just natural to wonder at things like this, I mean, people think it's because the abusers are hurt inside, but then you think, well, wouldn't they want to stop others from hurting instead of hurting them? I wish there weren't any reasons for people hurting others like this, but the fact is, people wont do this for no reason, but it's not your fault! I think abusers just have screwed up minds, and don't see that they are messing up someone else's life! maybe they think they are helping you, and they probably didn't even see it as abuse in the first place!
if ya ever wanna chat or have a moan or anything, you can always PM me!

 

[rogsr]

I'm a survivor too and a naturally introspective person so I have encountered many of 'those' days. I thank God for them, because now I know the Truth and am free. No one is evil only something like sick or addicted. No matter what happens to you in your life there is something good to be reaped from the expierience. That means that everything that happens to us, even stuff which we first think of as bad, is actually good, at least for us. When I first heard this in my soul I was still going through the I-hate-myself stage, and could not grasp how being tortured unto the brink of inner death could be an expierience full of Grace. Then one afternoon while contemplating the Passion of our Lord I remembered how Jesus prayed for the Divine forgiveness of the very men torturing Him to death, even while they were doing the torturing. That is when sweet words were spoken to me. "Learning to forgive, even in the midst of being offended, is the greatest good and the full maturation of the human soul. It is the expression of true Love. Utter selflessness." You see, the meaning of life is to grow as the mustard seed grows, and every expierience is a drop of rain, a ray of sunshine, a pile of manuer . All of which are necessary for proper growth. So, don't lose heart. You have encountered the Truth, now be brave enough to let Him set you free.