Do you ever just know?

[Living4Him03]

Do you ever "just know" that someone is not the person you will marry from the first time you meet them? It seems like when I meet most guys, whether introduced by a friend or whatever, I know almost instantly if there is something there or not. It could even be a guy who is just wonderful...handsome, Chrisitian, fun to be around, etc. But for some reason I know almost instantly whether he is someone I should get to know or not. Does anyone have this experience, where the Holy Spirit instantly lets you know ?? I hate disappointing guys or telling my friends someone isn't for me. They always say I should just get to know the guy, but like I said there are times when I know instantly that a guy is not the one for me. Am I missing out on potential dates because of this? Should I be getting to know these guys anyway, even if I am pretty sure there is nothing there?

I know you can grow to like someone, but I think sometimes you just know. What do ya'll think?

 

[klewlis]

They say never to rule anyone out... sometimes you think someone is out of the question, and the next thing you know, you're in love. I've heard the story many times.

 

[Iggster]

Took me 5 years to find out the one for me is my s/o now. Four of those years hangin' out and having different g/f's; and knowing what I didn't want in a relationship. We've chatted a storm and had great conversations, but she was afraid I was still in my wild party phase. But the Lord's blessed us and gave us time to get to know each other even more. Our relationship got much more intense and we realized that God blessed us with each other. I feel like a kid in a candy store when I hear her voice.

 

[MrDude]

Yeah. I've asked a out a lot of girls (all of which have said no), and I pretty much knew that there would never be anything there, I just figured I'd ask to get it off my chest. I've pretty much given up on having any type of relationship with anyone ever, so when my friends offer to introduce me to people I just tell them "no thanks", because of that said "gut feeling" that you know they won't be right for you.

 

[invisiblebabe]

Holy Spirit, or intuition? Hmmm...

Yes, I would say the first time I talk to someone for an extended period of time, I can tell quite a bit, including whether there is potential or not. I would never go so far as to say that I'd know he was the one I will marry that quickly, though.

Oh, and MrDude, don't give up!! I absolutely hate seeing people give up, especially when it's way too early to do so. You're a nice looking guy (I'm assuming that's you in your avatar) and from what I know of you, you seem like you'd be fun to talk to and hang out with. Just give it some time. I like to put it this way.... the right one is always late, but worth the wait!

 

[MrDude]

Oh, and MrDude, don't give up!! I absolutely hate seeing people give up, especially when it's way too early to do so. You're a nice looking guy (I'm assuming that's you in your avatar) and from what I know of you, you seem like you'd be fun to talk to and hang out with. Just give it some time. I like to put it this way.... the right one is always late, but worth the wait!

I don't look at it as giving up, more of a realization that there is no one out there. It goes back to what the o/p said, about a gut feeling which tells you so.

edit: Except I suppose it's a different intuition, her's tells her about specific people, mine tells me about life or situations in general.

 

[invisiblebabe]

I don't look at it as giving up, more of a realization that there is no one out there. It goes back to what the o/p said, about a gut feeling which tells you so.

edit: Except I suppose it's a different intuition, her's tells her about specific people, mine tells me about life or situations in general.

Hmmmm, perhaps. Anything can happen though!

 

[KeilCoppes]

It can be a challenge when you're a little bit more open and down to earth type, as well. I often meet those who come off as surface-only type people... it's like there's nothing solid to connect with or hook on to, just soap bubbles.

 

[tyberium]

This is gonna sound weird, but I think that you and your date should first off make the basis that both of you are christians. Then once thats done I would ask them when they believe, and also tell them what you believe. It is much easier to like someone if they hold the same biblical and moral beliefs that you have. I have found that one of the best questions in the world is this.

If you were to die right now and God were to ask you why should I let you into My heaven, what would you say.

That is a good way to really find out what someone believes.

 

[white dove]

Hrm..you know what?? I totally asked a woman who's been married for the greater half of her life this same question...heh, she said she couldn't STAND her husband when she first met him...he was too arrogant!! But yeah, you know..this would be a really interesting question to pose in the married couples forum to see what married ppl would say.

 

[Living4Him03]

I"m not talking about not being able to stand them, etc. I thought my ex was quite arrogant as well, but I didn't feel just "nothing" with him. It's not that I look at him and see qualities I don't like...most of the time it's a Christian guy that I meet, so that question isn't part of it. It's just knowing automatically that he's a sweet guy, but that he simply isn't the one for me. That there is nothing there, no chemistry, etc. I can tell pretty easily if he is going to be someone I could have a long term relationship with.

For example, my friend introduced me to her best guy friend at this concert we went to a few weeks ago. He was sweet, but I didn't really get his sense of humor, wasn't attracted to him at all (I just wasn't and i'm not really that picky!), etc. But even when I first was introduced to him and knew my friend was hoping we'd like each other, I could tell there was nothing there. I can't explain how I know but I just know I've prayed about this sort of thing before and have asked God to help me know His will in these situations early on. I probably won't just meet a guy and know he's the one, but I do know when there is nothing there.

Sometimes it can be fear or being nervous, etc. But even in those times i KNOW that it's fear or being nervous. Like with my friend in Iraq, I didn't think it would happen with us, even though I really liked him. I was just so nervous around him that I never took the time to think about how God had brought this awesome guy into my life. But still when I met him I didn't think there was nothing there and that nothing could ever happen.

So if you just know that someone isn't for you from the time you meet them, what do you do? I wasn't sure what to say to my friend when she asked me if I was interested in her friend! Should I spend time with or go on a date with a guy like her friend even if there's nothing ther to begin with? I know I certainly don't owe anyone a date and that whoever I marry I will be attracted to them. Am I just being silly to avoid those type of situations with guys in order not to hurt them? Maybe I'm missing out because of it?

 

[white dove]

I've thought about that one too, Living...but in my case, I AM WAY picky w/ what I'm looking for in a guy!! I need to feel a connection with him and yeah, there are very-rare cases in which I've connected w/ guys right off the bat..however, nothing has ever come from it, in regard to a serious relationship, only friendship ~which in and of itself is pretty cool!! However, I think that for me, any serious relationship, specifically, THE ONE serious relationship would have to (ideally) start off as a friendship anyway, as my future husband (if the Lord so wills that I have one) will be my best friend anyway....meh.
About missing out, though? I think you're right in saying that you owe it to no one to have a date w/ anyone. Just pray more about it and see if you'd like to hang out w/ this guy (or other guys) again..but, go in a group...seems less date-ish that way

 

[invisiblebabe]

It's just knowing automatically that he's a sweet guy, but that he simply isn't the one for me. That there is nothing there, no chemistry, etc. I can tell pretty easily if he is going to be someone I could have a long term relationship with.

Yep, I totally know what you mean there.

I can't really relate to the fear/being nervous thing.... I typically don't get nervous on dates or when meeting new people. I can say that when I'm interested in someone, though, there IS that extra degree of anticipation.

As for missing out..... two years ago, I would've said no, of course you aren't missing out on anything. Now, I'm honestly not so sure...