Do Men Remarry Faster After Divorce?

[4Christ2]

This may sound like a stupid question to some, but please bear with me...

I know many people who have divorced and have personally noticed that in many divorces; the divorced men seem to marry again much faster than the divorced women.

Does anyone have any statistical info to support or dispute this?

 

[jessesgirl]

My ex husband remarried first..but I typically see the trend (at least around me) that women remarry faster...whether for the security or just being used to having someone around. Like I said, though, that is just the trend I have seen

 

[4Christ2]

My ex husband remarried first..but I typically see the trend (at least around me) that women remarry faster...whether for the security or just being used to having someone around. Like I said, though, that is just the trend I have seen

Hmmm. That's interesting that you see the exact opposite of what I'm seeing. Maybe it's not timing in remarriage, but motive.

I can see women maybe marrying quickly for security and the safety of sex within that marriage. But what would be a man's motive - maybe intimacy (sex) as well, keeping up the house, children, or just plain ole' companionship?

I read somewhere in a study that showed men are more likely to commit suicide after a divorce than women. Maybe they marry quicker to get out of the depression?

 

[Gimpy]

I will never remarry

 

[Autumnleaf]

From what I've seen the people who initiate divorce tend to remarry faster than the jilted spouse, both male and female.

 

[4Christ2]

From what I've seen the people who initiate divorce tend to remarry faster than the jilted spouse, both male and female.

Autumnleaf,

I tend to agree. So do you belief the initiator of a divorce probably has already been with someone or has someone in mind when they ask for the divorce? That's what I've seen primarily when remarriage occurs quickly.

 

[4Christ2]

I will never remarry

Gimpy,

I'm with you! It goes back to my other thread, "Who Hurts More in Divorce? I'm still not absolutely sure, but I think I believe the one left hurts far more and that it takes longer for them to get on with their lives and trust another.

 

[Autumnleaf]

Autumnleaf,

I tend to agree. So do you belief the initiator of a divorce probably has already been with someone or has someone in mind when they ask for the divorce? That's what I've seen primarily when remarriage occurs quickly.

Sometimes I think this is the case. Another reason might be the initiator has already gone through the stages of grief from losing the relationship. This places them 'ahead' of the other person in their ability to move on, while the other person is often left wondering why as they pick up the pieces of their shattered life.

 

[4Christ2]

Sometimes I think this is the case. Another reason might be the initiator has already gone through the stages of grief from losing the relationship. This places them 'ahead' of the other person in their ability to move on, while the other person is often left wondering why as they pick up the pieces of their shattered life.

Autumn,

I had never thought of that angle. My ex and I separated three times before the divorce. It is possible that during the last separation of two years; he grieved the loss of the relationship. While he was grieving, I was praying and hoping he would seek help for his abusive behavior so we could reconcile.

No wonder I am in such shock and unable to move forward!

This just provides support for couples working on the problems in their marriage together. Not to separate unless there are issues of abuse or infidelity that could bring harm to a spouse. Two make a marriage and it takes two to mend one.

Sometimes I think I made a mistake in departing because of the abuse. That is a question I don't think I'll ever know the answer for..it is not an area spoken of in the Bible.

 

[AirForceTeacher]

If we come to that, I hope she's patient because I would want to remarry to her.

 

[Autumnleaf]

Autumn,

I had never thought of that angle. My ex and I separated three times before the divorce. It is possible that during the last separation of two years; he grieved the loss of the relationship. While he was grieving, I was praying and hoping he would seek help for his abusive behavior so we could reconcile.

No wonder I am in such shock and unable to move forward!

This just provides support for couples working on the problems in their marriage together. Not to separate unless there are issues of abuse or infidelity that could bring harm to a spouse. Two make a marriage and it takes two to mend one.

Sometimes I think I made a mistake in departing because of the abuse. That is a question I don't think I'll ever know the answer for..it is not an area spoken of in the Bible.

Abuse is a touchy issue these days. I have Jewish friends who say the reason the Bible doesn't talk about it is because Jews handled such things 'in-house' ie Men in the family would get together and smack down an abusive husband to convince him to be nice to his wife. For eons this tactic was effective. Now laws are against such dastardly vigilantism so we have jerks abusing their wives.

My older cousin had a boyfriend who physically abused her when I was a little boy. My dad and uncles found about it at a family gathering. They quickly left together and came back a few hours later. He never abused her again.

For some reason that made a big impression on me. If someone mistreats any of my daughters or if one of my sons gets physical with his wife I know how I'll handle it. My wife has big strong brothers and my cousins are now just as big and tough as my uncles were on that fateful day long ago. I don't like to fight or hurt people, but I've seen enough to know violence, or the threat of it, is sometimes the most efficient and painless way to do the right thing.

 

[Romanseight2005]

I will never remarry

Just for that comment, you will probably be married by next year!
(Just kidding)

 

[AirForceTeacher]

That used to be a common practice in the military. t's since frowned upon, mostly because it's been shown repeatedly that the man goes home and gets his revenge on her.

 

[jessesgirl]

From what I've seen the people who initiate divorce tend to remarry faster than the jilted spouse, both male and female.

My ex husband remarried days after our divorce was final and I filed for the divorce. It was nearly two years later that I remarried.

 

[jessesgirl]

Autumnleaf,

I tend to agree. So do you belief the initiator of a divorce probably has already been with someone or has someone in mind when they ask for the divorce? That's what I've seen primarily when remarriage occurs quickly.

I had no one in mind, it was just getting out of a bad situation before it got worse!

 

[4Christ2]

My ex husband remarried days after our divorce was final and I filed for the divorce. It was nearly two years later that I remarried.

Wow JG,

That seems almost disrespectful for him to remarry that soon. I think there should be a respectful time of waiting after a divorce - much like a death, which is what divorce feels like to me. Did it hurt that he remarried so quickly?

 

[Brotherfromanothermother]

My 1st ex & I were seperated for 1 year (she made it clear there would be no reconciliation - she'd already been cheating for 5 years without my having any knowledge of it - even with a friend of mine ) I met my 2nd wife (soon to be ex) and we got married a year later on the day the divorce was final. The ex had already gotten remarried before the divorce was final. (I don't know how) I personally wanted to wait but she didn't. Now 11 years later she wants out. (has for awhile)

 

[jessesgirl]

Wow JG,

That seems almost disrespectful for him to remarry that soon. I think there should be a respectful time of waiting after a divorce - much like a death, which is what divorce feels like to me. Did it hurt that he remarried so quickly?

No, because he stalked me for the first three months we were seperated. I was really relieved that he moved on so that I could resume the healing process. It makes it quite difficult to heal from a divorce when the other person is constantly calling and sending flowers and such. I was smart when I left him that time, though, I moved in with my parents and he is scared of my dad so all I had to deal with him was at work.

 

[Troy7]

Gimpy,

I'm with you! It goes back to my other thread, "Who Hurts More in Divorce? I'm still not absolutely sure, but I think I believe the one left hurts far more and that it takes longer for them to get on with their lives and trust another.

Another member here for the "I'll never do THAT again club"!