Do I need counseling?

[Onlybythelight]

I have struggled with self-harm since December last year due to various reasons including stress, desperation, self-esteem problems, and sexual abuse from when I was young, and have just recently told friends/youth group leader.
They have all told me that I need to go to a counsellor but I don't feel like I need to? Why can't I recover with just God on my side?
What do you all think? I'd like some advice from people who have been there.

If it helps, the longest I've gone had been about 16 days. My record right now is around three or four.

Thank you, God bless!

 

[halfalive]

I've been in counseling for a few months now, and I recommend it, but only when you're ready. I had friends suggesting I get counseling for... 5 or 6 years, I think? I eventually got to the point when I understood that whatever I was doing wasn't working and I needed help... That might sound tacky, but whatever... It wound up being a good choice...

 

[drjean]

Since you're coping mechanism of self harming isn't very long, there is a good possibility that you can curb it yourself. Good for going that 16 days! Just begin counting again... and hopefully before long, you won't need to count because it will be behind you.

Self harming is a coping mechanism, albeit not a very good one (though it does work for a while.) Internal anger is often behind it, self hatred sometimes, and a general need to either escape or to feel real drives it.

Think about the other ways you have been trying to cope with all that going on inside you. I think it's because those have failed you now that you've taken up self harming in a more direct way. Yes, I would advise talking with someone because the memories of abuse don't just go away on their own. A counselor or psychologist is trained in helping you develop skills in healthy coping, and in realizing you are worth plenty of good stuff and none of the bad!

Don't feel like you have to tell everything you've ever gone through to a counselor. Just like you spoke to your friend and church person, sharing what's going on inside (as best you can tell) and asking for help in how to feel better can be the focus for the counselor too.

Keep reaching out to adults until you find one who listens and helps you get the help you need. The sooner you can do this, the sooner your life will be better. You don't need to be harming yourself in any way for these memories and feelings hon; you aren't the problem.

 

[Silver-winged Flyer]

Hi

I'm seeing a counselor once a week or every two weeks for depression and I do occasionally self-harm when I'm really feeling down.
I think if most people I know knew I was going to a counselor they wouldn't think I needed to because I appear to have it altogether but I really don't. Counselors are there to help you see what you are thinking or doing wrong that's causing you to self harm and to show you God's Truth that replaces your irrational thinking - that's what I'm doing with mine anyway. I agree with a previous poster, you need to realise you need to see a counselor before its going to help. I was on meds for years and they weren't helping because I wasn't dealing with the underlying issues, now being on meds and seeing a counselor is helping and I'm slowly making progress.
If you do see somebody, tell them how much you feel comfortable telling them especially initially as you're getting to know them and trust them. Hopefully you will find that you feel free to share more, the more you share, the more they can help.

I do recommend finding a Christian counselor so their counsel is from God.

Feel free to message me anytime.
*hug*

 

[NicoleSelser]

I've been there. Actually, I'm in that situation right now. I'm currently in counseling for self harm, & panic disorder. At first I thought I didn't need to go either. I didn't think the counselor could help me realize anything I didn't already know, but I'm surprised at just how much it's helping me get through things. It just helps having someone to talk to that knows what you're talking about and knows how to help you over come problems.

If anything, I'd just give it a few tries. If it doesn't work out, at least you could say that you tried it.

 

[Celticroots]

You need professional help to work through the trauma you've experienced. There are people specially trained to help you do that. And God would want you to reach out to a counselor for help. And self-harm only works in the short term. The act of harming is a band-aid, a way to block painful feelings but not actively deal with them. Nothing good can ever come of self-harm in any form and will escalate.

Counseling will teach you to deal with the painful emotions as a result of the trauma in a healthy way.

So yes I would definitely recommend counseling. I've been seeing a counselor for two years regarding my OCD and self-harm and found it very helpful. If you don't click with the first therapist, keep trying until you find one you like.

 

[Luna1991]

Another vote for looking into counselling. You can often see counsellors for free at hospitals, universities, schools, etc. So no pressure to make an expensive appointment and sit on a long waiting list if you're having doubts about whether it is for you at this stage.

In my experience, these problems don't go away on their own, and they only escalate. Don't invalidate your own emotional experiences. If you are feeling distressed enough to self-harm, there are issues worth looking into.