Do I Have OCD?

[Roseheart]

So I was wondering if I have OCD or not... I think I do, but only mildly. Here are some things which make me think that:

1) Almost everything I do has some kind of "system" to it, usually to do with the date or the time. For example, I try to drink four bottles of water a day, and I have ten gulps at certain times of day (e.g. 10 gulps at 10:00, 10 more at 10:15 etc.). Also, when choosing something from a restaurant menu, for example, I ask what somebody else has ordered and then count down the menu from their choice whatever the date is (so if it's the twelfth of January I'll count down twelve) and choose that, but I'd have to stay in the same section (e.g. meat dishes), and I even have a system for choosing which person to ask. I have different systems for different things like this, but the reason I think it's only mild is that I don't get distraught if I stray from the systems. It's mainly because I don't like making decisions because I want things to be "equal"... if you know what I mean? So, for example, if playing a video game or something, I'd use a system to choose which character to play as (or if there's a "Random" button I'll almost always choose that)... if you've seen the film Forrest Gump, where his mother told him "Life is like a box of chocolates - you never know what you're going to get," then it's sort of like I don't want to know what I'm going to get when I choose what to eat or which character to play as... I hope that makes sense. I could go into much more detail about every little system I have (I probably couldn't remember them all), but then this list would be way too long, because I have one for practically everything. I also have a list of things I do each day and they're all in a particular order. For example, Bible reading, Check the news, work out what I'm going to wear tomorrow (using a system), check Christian Forums...

2) Sometimes I get scared about irrational things and have to check to make sure it's okay. It's silly things, like if I think I may need something in the distant future, I have to go and look for those things to make sure I can still find them. (I did this just today). If I get scared about something small, even though I know it's small, sometimes I can't forget about it and have to look it up, or I'll ask somebody for reassurance. That's only in extreme cases, though - although it's been worse in the past, at the moment I'm not really getting scared of things, but if I do then I only have to look them up once. In the past I've had to look them up quite a few times and check details. If there was maybe one word or sentence which worried me in only one source, too, then I'd search that up as much as I could to make sure.

3) I have suffered from scrupulosity in the past, although I don't really anymore now that I've identified what it is that was making me anxious about small things. I thought I wasn't a proper Christian if I didn't sort out these tiny details because it was like I was persistently sinning. I also have this thing, which I was more careful about in the past, but not so much now, where I'd always have to add "I think" to the end of sentences because if it turned out they were untrue then I'd be lying, which is of course something the Bible prohibits. I'd also avoid saying things like: "That's the best pizza I've ever tasted!" just in case I had had a better pizza in the past because I didn't want to lie.

I don't really know if this is OCD or not... I've told friends, granted not in as much detail, but they didn't seem too concerned. Then again, I'm pretty sure none of them know the details of OCD exactly, as none of them (as far as I know) have anybody close to them who has OCD. (Except maybe me, if it turns out I do). All these "symptoms", if that's what they are, were worst in the past except for number 1. Anyway, if someone can tell me what they think, that'd be very helpful. I could go into much more detail with this post, but I don't want it to be too long. The particular examples I've given above are only some of what are causing me to think I have OCD.

Thank you, and God bless.

 

[RachelZ]

Hi Roseheart, obviously I can't diagnose but just wanted to say that what you've described certainly sounds like OCD and some of what you described I can really relate to and I have a diagnosis of OCD. The scrupulosity and worrying over small things. I can so relate to not feeling OK about saying the pizza was the best you'd ever tasted. And just because it isn't really worrying you at the moment I'd say try and treat it now cos if it rears it's ugly head in a more intrusive way it's harder to deal with then. Hope that helps a bit...sorry it's not a very comprehensive answer. Take care, Rachel

 

[flowerforever7]

Hi, I can't diagnose you either, but what you are describing sounds very much like OCD. You may want to find a professional to diagnose and treat you, at least with CBT therapy if you are not up to taking meds at this point. For me, OCD has become increasingly worse with time, the more you give into these obsessional urges and perform compulsions the more you solidify and potentially increase the obsessive-compulsive disorder cycle. I would get help to get it under control before it becomes worse.

Also concerning your friends not being concerned. OCD is an illness that can be difficult to understand by people who do not have the disorder, unless they are educated about the disorder. Some well-meaning people think you can just snap out it, because they do not understand the pathology of OCD. With OCD you typically have to get professional help or use CBT techniques to help reverse some of the obsessive compulsive cycle.

God bless.
___________

Acts 2:38 "Peter replied, "Repent and be baptized, everyone of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit."

 

[Roseheart]

Thank you, both of you. I understand that you wouldn't be able to diagnose me properly, but I've been thinking I've had OCD for a while now, so I wanted to see what other people who know more about it than I do, and have actual experience of it, would think.

I think I will try and get a professional diagnosis. I was also wondering whether number 1 was actually a possible symptom of OCD? I always found it a bit odd that I had systems for everything, and I thought it might be connected to my maybe-OCD, but I haven't really heard anyone who actually does have OCD say they do anything similar.

God bless both of you and thank you again.