Divorce/Remarriage Question

[SeekingSon]

Years ago while my wife worked out of town 3-4 days per week we became distant. We are both believers. I became aware of pornography on the Internet and quickly became addicted to it. Eventually, we became more distant. I became depressed and attempted suicide. Thank God I was found prior to dying. I was hosptialized.

Upon recovery my wife and I sought direction from our Elders. They were not equiped to deal with the seriousness of the issues, having never before encountered it. My wife and I tried therapy. It became apparently that my wife could not forgive the suicide attempt saying I had broken our marriage vows.

She divorced my for adulty for viewing the pornography (adultry of the heart). But the issue was really the suicide attempt. I have asked for forgiveness for both the attepmt and the pornography and she accepted. She also asked my forgiveness for the way she treated me before, during and after the divorce. I accepted. I have asked her several times to reconcile to which she has declined choosing to cultivate a relationshion with another man.

The question is, "Can I remarry?"

 

[Autumnleaf]

If she's fornicated with another man, tell her you divorce her in writing and you're off the hook.

 

[bethrow]

Divorce really shouldn't have taken place here because technically the adultry was really not adultry. You did not have sexual relations with another woman. Yes, you had trouble with porn, but you did not have sex with someone else. The only time a divorce should really take place is when the woman is physically abused and/or if the husband or wife has sex with someone other than their spouse.
She has divorced you, but in the eyes of God you are still her husband until the day you or she dies...whichever comes first.
I believe she is in the wrong for being with another man. Correct me if I'm wrong, but this is wrong in the eyes of God from the way I see it.
As far as getting remarried.....I wouldn't think so, but maybe someone can direct us in the right scripture.
Just my two cents.

 

[FLANDIDLYANDERS]

I think you got a heap more issues to face up to other than is it right to remarry!

No offence meant. walk yer walk.

 

[SeekingSon]

I have worked through the issues (with medical help) associated with the suicide attempt. I am no longer depressed and know the indicators to watch for and have a different outlook (positive) on life. I have defeated pornography with God's help (of course). But with my ex-wife not willing to reconcile, what am I to do?

 

[tryingtobeagain]

You're going to get alot of mixed answers here. My advice is to do what you feel is right in your heart and take it slow. You're wife is not looking to reconcile and you are not attached to her. I hope you can move forward whether thatn means alone or with someone new. Your decision. I hope to one day build up to dating someone and if God directs it toward marriage then I will follow, but I'm not worrying about it... there are so many other things I need to work on right now... Enjoy the life Gos has blessed you with and I pray you.

 

[BrBob]

Come on people! This is a done deal. God will forgive anything except blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. This person can be forgiven and marry again if he wants to.

Being a Christian is NOT about what you can't do. It's about forgiveness and reconciliation. Now, that's not license to go and sin:

Rom 6:1 WHAT shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound?
Rom 6:2 Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it?
Rom 6:3 Or do you not know that as many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death?
Rom 6:4 Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.

We are dead to our sins and alive in Christ. When we take our sin to Him we are washed clean. Clean.

Hbr 10:14 For by one offering He has perfected forever those who are being sanctified.
Hbr 10:15 But the Holy Spirit also witnesses to us; for after He had said before,
Hbr 10:16 "This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, says the LORD: I will put My laws into their hearts, and in their minds I will write them,"[fn3]
Hbr 10:17 then He adds, "Their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more."[

The Word of God says that our sins will be remembered no more. We are sin-free.

Go, live new. Leave that which is behind and go.

God Bless
Bob
Spearfish, sD

 

[hope4today]

Come on people! This is a done deal. God will forgive anything except blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. This person can be forgiven and marry again if he wants to.

Being a Christian is NOT about what you can't do. It's about forgiveness and reconciliation. Now, that's not license to go and sin:

We are dead to our sins and alive in Christ. When we take our sin to Him we are washed clean. Clean.

The Word of God says that our sins will be remembered no more. We are sin-free.

Go, live new. Leave that which is behind and go.

God Bless
Bob
Spearfish, sD

What Bob said, absolutely!!! Grace, grace and more grace. There will be many different views here. Pray, seek God and let his peace be your guide.

Bless you
In Jesus,

Hope

 

[dachran]

Search the scriptures for your answer. Seek the Lord for both your question and the depresssion. Don't follow what people say - follow what God's Word says. Draw closer to the Lord - don't give up - deligently seek Him for a resolution of the issues that you are currently facing.

Many Christians say that we have grace and use it as an excuse to do whatsoever they want. But the Lord has spoken in His Word. Let's be aware of this one fact - God would not be mocked. His abundant grace is not a justification to willfully sin as it is written in Hebrews 10 (many Christians seem to be oblivious to the existence of the following verses):

"19 Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, 20 by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, 21 and since we have a great priest over the house of God, 22 let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. 23 Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.

24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. 25 Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching. 26 If we deliberately keep on sinning AFTER we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, 27 but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God. 28 Anyone who rejected the law of Moses died without mercy on the testimony of two or three witnesses. 29 How much more severely do you think a man deserves to be punished who has trampled the Son of God under foot, who has treated as an unholy thing the blood of the covenant that sanctified him, and who has insulted the Spirit of grace? 30 For we know him who said, "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," and again, "The Lord will judge his people." 31 It is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God."

 

[skywatching]

She has broken her vow by consumating a relationship with another man. That frees you to divorce...but no where does it say you are free to marry again. 'until death do us part'....THAT is the vow to God. I'm guilty too and yes God forgives our screw-ups...I just have not really found true comfort that He will allow me to marry again even though the bonds were severed by law.

 

[4Christ2]

What Bob said, absolutely!!! Grace, grace and more grace. There will be many different views here. Pray, seek God and let his peace be your guide.

Bless you
In Jesus,

Hope

The extreme grace of God is not just the forgiveness of sins but the enabling power to get free from sin and say ‘No’ to sin in our life!

Titus 2:11-12 epitomizes this enabling grace when Paul says, “For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us to say ‘no’ to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age.”

I John 3:1-9 “Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God! … 3 And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself , just as He is pure. 4Whoever commits sin also commits lawlessness, and sin is lawlessness… 6 Whoever abides in Him does not sin. Whoever sins has neither seen Him nor known Him. 7 Little children, let no one deceive you. He who practices righteousness is righteous, just as He is righteous. 8 He who sins is of the devil, for the devil has sinned from the beginning... 9 Whoever has been born of God does not sin, for His seed remains in him; and he cannot sin, because he has been born of God.”

Heb. 12:14 “Pursue peace with all men, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord.”
Rom. 6:22 “But now having been set free from sin, and having become slaves of God, you have your fruit to holiness , and the end, everlasting life.”

 

[Ohana]

Come on people! This is a done deal. God will forgive anything except blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. This person can be forgiven and marry again if he wants to.

Being a Christian is NOT about what you can't do. It's about forgiveness and reconciliation. Now, that's not license to go and sin:

We are dead to our sins and alive in Christ. When we take our sin to Him we are washed clean. Clean.

The Word of God says that our sins will be remembered no more. We are sin-free.

Go, live new. Leave that which is behind and go.

God Bless
Bob
Spearfish, sD

Amen !

 

[Ohana]

What Bob said, absolutely!!! Grace, grace and more grace. There will be many different views here. Pray, seek God and let his peace be your guide.

Bless you
In Jesus,

Hope

Another, Amen some people here are hung up on the OT.

 

[DZoolander]

Of course you can.

 

[Ginger34]

Honestly I think it's up to each individual, if you feel in your heart and truly believe it's ok than it's ok. BUT if you have to keep questioning it whether it's ok (and I think that goes for anything) than obviously it's not ok with you, you're just looking for justification of why it's ok. Hope that makes sense.

 

[HuntingMan]

Years ago while my wife worked out of town 3-4 days per week we became distant. We are both believers. I became aware of pornography on the Internet and quickly became addicted to it. Eventually, we became more distant. I became depressed and attempted suicide. Thank God I was found prior to dying. I was hosptialized.

Upon recovery my wife and I sought direction from our Elders. They were not equiped to deal with the seriousness of the issues, having never before encountered it. My wife and I tried therapy. It became apparently that my wife could not forgive the suicide attempt saying I had broken our marriage vows.

She divorced my for adulty for viewing the pornography (adultry of the heart). But the issue was really the suicide attempt. I have asked for forgiveness for both the attepmt and the pornography and she accepted. She also asked my forgiveness for the way she treated me before, during and after the divorce. I accepted. I have asked her several times to reconcile to which she has declined choosing to cultivate a relationshion with another man.

The question is, "Can I remarry?"

Yes, you can remarry.
Pm me if you need to talk privately

 

[woobadooba]

If you feel that you can't get away from the porn, then get rid of your internet service for as long as it takes for you to overcome your addiction.

By the way, the Lord loves you; and He will never leave you!

 

[HuntingMan]

If she's fornicated with another man, tell her you divorce her in writing and you're off the hook.

This is very confusing.
Not to get off on this too much, but Ive just been in a couple discussions where other catholics would disagree with this statement.
Im very confused as to why one is saying divorce with a writ and another is rejecting the writ and insisting upon an annulment by a priest only.

Can you shed some light on this seeming discrepancy ?