I'm new to this site so I'm not sure what to expect. If I'm venting, I apologise in advance - I'm so frustrated. I am annoyed with myself because I find myself losing my patience and my cool.
I have 3 step sons: C 16, S 14, J 7 & a daughter 4 to my wife. We've been married for just over 5 years & I am struggling with the step sons - particularly C the 16 yo. He is lazy, disrespectful & seems to go out of his way to antagonise his younger siblings - J 7 who has Tourette's syndrome and anxiety. C 16 was a handful for his mother before I came on the scene, having been diagnosed with ADHD.
An example is tonight's issue: he comes home from staying at a friends on the weekend and complained that he is sick, so his mother allows him to sit in front of the TV and watch the Olympics, where she gives him his dinner and a pillow and a blanket, but he is too lazy to put the dishes in the dishwasher (the kitchen is 5 metres from where he is lounging around). I've asked him to put them in the dishwasher, which he refuses to do & argues with me because he's sick - and tells me to p!ss off. His mother backs him up and tells me off for being too hard on him while he's sick. What the... ?? He's not to sick to walk to the kitchen to get chocolate to stuff down his throat.
It's the same thing nearly every day - lazy, disrespectful to his mother and I, picking on his siblings, leaving his mess around for others to clean up (bathroom, kitchen, lounge room, yard). He doesn't try at school - I'm constantly getting emails from his teachers because he slacks off in class and doesn't do his school-work or homework.
When he uses the computer he's always 'liking' inappropriate content - I've tried blocking/firewalling stuff but his mother lets he get on anyway using her account, and then says to me, "...he's nearly 17 years old, he wants more freedom and to be treated like an adult." My reply is often, "..when he starts acting more responsibly and maturely, and drops the attitude, he'll be given more freedom."
Yesterday we tried to have a 'family day' out. My wife tried to take photos, but without fail C 16 has to give 'the bird' in an attempt to spoil the photos. J 7 is throwing tantrums because he can't get his own way, and doesn't like it that C 16 is looking at him.
Every morning it's like a battle zone. Every day I get home from work is like a battle zone. Someone is at somebody else's neck because of something.
At times I feel like I'm going mad, as there is seemingly no break from it. I try to love the kids all the same and equally, but it's hard when they show no respect to me, their mother or each other.
I wake up early and pray every day for their salvation, that the Lord will change their hearts - as like me they are sinners that need saving by grace by the Lord Jesus Christ. BUT I'm so tired of being constantly fatigued.
To make matters worse, I've recently lost my job and 2 of the boys have birthdays next month. I'm watching our savings closely so we can survive until I get a new job, but their mother, my wife, doesn't seem to understand that they might have to have less for their birthdays until I get another job. I've tried explaining it, but C 16 thinks it's unfair that he has to miss out.
I have 3 step sons: C 16, S 14, J 7 & a daughter 4 to my wife. We've been married for just over 5 years & I am struggling with the step sons - particularly C the 16 yo. He is lazy, disrespectful & seems to go out of his way to antagonise his younger siblings - J 7 who has Tourette's syndrome and anxiety. C 16 was a handful for his mother before I came on the scene, having been diagnosed with ADHD.
An example is tonight's issue: he comes home from staying at a friends on the weekend and complained that he is sick, so his mother allows him to sit in front of the TV and watch the Olympics, where she gives him his dinner and a pillow and a blanket, but he is too lazy to put the dishes in the dishwasher (the kitchen is 5 metres from where he is lounging around). I've asked him to put them in the dishwasher, which he refuses to do & argues with me because he's sick - and tells me to p!ss off. His mother backs him up and tells me off for being too hard on him while he's sick. What the... ?? He's not to sick to walk to the kitchen to get chocolate to stuff down his throat.
It's the same thing nearly every day - lazy, disrespectful to his mother and I, picking on his siblings, leaving his mess around for others to clean up (bathroom, kitchen, lounge room, yard). He doesn't try at school - I'm constantly getting emails from his teachers because he slacks off in class and doesn't do his school-work or homework.
When he uses the computer he's always 'liking' inappropriate content - I've tried blocking/firewalling stuff but his mother lets he get on anyway using her account, and then says to me, "...he's nearly 17 years old, he wants more freedom and to be treated like an adult." My reply is often, "..when he starts acting more responsibly and maturely, and drops the attitude, he'll be given more freedom."
Yesterday we tried to have a 'family day' out. My wife tried to take photos, but without fail C 16 has to give 'the bird' in an attempt to spoil the photos. J 7 is throwing tantrums because he can't get his own way, and doesn't like it that C 16 is looking at him.
Every morning it's like a battle zone. Every day I get home from work is like a battle zone. Someone is at somebody else's neck because of something.
At times I feel like I'm going mad, as there is seemingly no break from it. I try to love the kids all the same and equally, but it's hard when they show no respect to me, their mother or each other.
I wake up early and pray every day for their salvation, that the Lord will change their hearts - as like me they are sinners that need saving by grace by the Lord Jesus Christ. BUT I'm so tired of being constantly fatigued.
To make matters worse, I've recently lost my job and 2 of the boys have birthdays next month. I'm watching our savings closely so we can survive until I get a new job, but their mother, my wife, doesn't seem to understand that they might have to have less for their birthdays until I get another job. I've tried explaining it, but C 16 thinks it's unfair that he has to miss out.
