Dirty jokes

[imma]

What would you do if:
- You had told the man you are dating you dislike dirty jokes and one day that you both have a fight he tells you a dirty joke about mastu*****? Then you tell him: That is disgusting. Besides I am eating, that is disgusting, I am going to puke! and he tells you: you should laugh, it is just a joke.
- If the man you were dating refered to you when you get out of the car: watch out your little tiny ass.
- if a day you argue about something not very relevant (schedules) he says: you are acting like a F**** B*****
- if he told you men say those things but are meaningless. Does he want to hurt? or it is unintentional?

Is it normal?

 

[imma]

Most times, he is super attentive, gives presents and values you a lot for your values and sees you "are good marriage material"

 

[Wookiee]

1. He's not valuing you/being attentive to your needs if he tells you that after you tell him you don't like it.
2. That's not appropriate.
3. He's acting immature and needs to grow up.
4. What things are meaningless? Jokes?

If he's acting that way and says you're "good marriage material" it's probably either because he sees you are and doesn't realise he's not, or he's only really interested in you in a superficial level.

If he's not going to grow up, he's not worth your time.

That said though, we're hearing your view of him in these things. But when these happen, are you instigating the arguments or is he (i.e. are you suggesting/saying something and he's getting upset/making big issues out of the small things)?

To answer the last thing you asked, though:
In very immature men, that's unfortunately normal.

 

[K9_Trainer]

Sounds like he has no respect for you. I would ditch him ASAP. You can do better.

 

[imma]

1. He's not valuing you/being attentive to your needs if he tells you that after you tell him you don't like it.
2. That's not appropriate.
3. He's acting immature and needs to grow up.
4. What things are meaningless? Jokes?

If he's acting that way and says you're "good marriage material" it's probably either because he sees you are and doesn't realise he's not, or he's only really interested in you in a superficial level.

If he's not going to grow up, he's not worth your time.

That said though, we're hearing your view of him in these things. But when these happen, are you instigating the arguments or is he (i.e. are you suggesting/saying something and he's getting upset/making big issues out of the small things)?

To answer the last thing you asked, though:
In very immature men, that's unfortunately normal.

yes, he says telling dirty jokes is the way guys talk among them. But what hurts me is that the joke about M was after we argued about sonething normal (about schedules). he then told me this dirty joke. I feel he said because he was angry and he knew this would hurt me. The next day he apologised for all and said he is an [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]...
I felt offended when he speaks of women as "marriage material". I feel dusgusted by dirty jokes. He then tells me he wants to get home and says what he pleases (dirty things)...but I dont. Thank you so much for your reply, as for the rest, he is very attentive gives presents that I do not ask for...make sure I have all I need.. but some issues bother me, like this one. Is he doing "love bombing?" He always tells me I am a very good woman. and very trustworthy.

 

[iambren]

He has learned this behavior and needs to UNlearn it. The male gender can lean to the coarse side of things especially when there is a pack of them,then it feeds off each other,but should NEVER be around the woman. Men can get turned off by dirty talk too.

Probably this is a habit where he was rewarded with acceptance from some peers but YOU need to show him how ugly and immature it now appears.

 

[seeingeyes]

What would you do if:
- You had told the man you are dating you dislike dirty jokes and one day that you both have a fight he tells you a dirty joke about mastu*****? Then you tell him: That is disgusting. Besides I am eating, that is disgusting, I am going to puke! and he tells you: you should laugh, it is just a joke.
- If the man you were dating refered to you when you get out of the car: watch out your little tiny ass.
- if a day you argue about something not very relevant (schedules) he says: you are acting like a F**** B*****
- if he told you men say those things but are meaningless. Does he want to hurt? or it is unintentional?

Is it normal?

Run. Now.

 

[LinkH]

What would you do if:
- You had told the man you are dating you dislike dirty jokes and one day that you both have a fight he tells you a dirty joke about mastu*****? Then you tell him: That is disgusting. Besides I am eating, that is disgusting, I am going to puke! and he tells you: you should laugh, it is just a joke.
- If the man you were dating refered to you when you get out of the car: watch out your little tiny ass.
- if a day you argue about something not very relevant (schedules) he says: you are acting like a F**** B*****
- if he told you men say those things but are meaningless. Does he want to hurt? or it is unintentional?

Is it normal?

Maybe you ought to dump him.

 

[Pike11]

What would you do if:
- You had told the man you are dating you dislike dirty jokes and one day that you both have a fight he tells you a dirty joke about mastu*****? Then you tell him: That is disgusting. Besides I am eating, that is disgusting, I am going to puke! and he tells you: you should laugh, it is just a joke.
- If the man you were dating refered to you when you get out of the car: watch out your little tiny ass.
- if a day you argue about something not very relevant (schedules) he says: you are acting like a F**** B*****
- if he told you men say those things but are meaningless. Does he want to hurt? or it is unintentional?

Is it normal?

Is it safe to assume he claims to be a Christian? If so, no man or woman with the Holy Spirit in them would speak like that.

 

[graciesings]

If you want to put up with the same disrespect x2 for the next thirty + years, than stay with him.

 

[datomiv]

From the abundance of the heart...

I told my fiance to "shut up" once. And she cried. And I started thinking, 'she needs to toughen up.' I've come from an unholy dating past where name calling was just the least of what went on. So, I thought, 'if shes going to be with me shes just going to have to get a little bit tougher because I'm a man and men get angry...' Then I realized that I was wanting my beautiful delicate flower to 'toughen up' Not only do I find her sensitivity to evil and attractive quality that I want passed onto my children, but also it helps teach me to be gentle, and I need that. His claim that "that's just how men talk" is bogus! maybe a man of the world, but not a man of Christ.

I used to do stand-up comedy, and while my jokes weren't vile, they were edgy. All original material. After I got saved, I decided to put them down. All jokes that weren't appropriate I stopped telling out of reverence for Christ

My lady and I will sometimes flirt a little bit, very mildly, but never have I made a vulgar comment toward her. It's not attractive and I know that. Once we are married, we will talk a little more 'dirty' with each other, but until then, I strive to speak to her in purity.

Ephesians 5:1,3-5 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children... But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints; and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.…

And if he has actually said "You are good marriage material" that is possibly the most offensive thing of all. It shows that he's in the relationship for himself, what good you can do for him, when love is all about what you can do for the other person. read the article "Marriage isn't for you" (I can't post links I guess...)

Is it safe to assume he claims to be a Christian? If so, no man or woman with the Holy Spirit in them would speak like that.

Maybe you ought to dump him.

I didn't want to say it, but...

 

[Pike11]

From the abundance of the heart...

I told my fiance to "shut up" once. And she cried. And I started thinking, 'she needs to toughen up.' I've come from an unholy dating past where name calling was just the least of what went on. So, I thought, 'if shes going to be with me shes just going to have to get a little bit tougher because I'm a man and men get angry...' Then I realized that I was wanting my beautiful delicate flower to 'toughen up' Not only do I find her sensitivity to evil and attractive quality that I want passed onto my children, but also it helps teach me to be gentle, and I need that. His claim that "that's just how men talk" is bogus! maybe a man of the world, but not a man of Christ.

I used to do stand-up comedy, and while my jokes weren't vile, they were edgy. All original material. After I got saved, I decided to put them down. All jokes that weren't appropriate I stopped telling out of reverence for Christ

My lady and I will sometimes flirt a little bit, very mildly, but never have I made a vulgar comment toward her. It's not attractive and I know that. Once we are married, we will talk a little more 'dirty' with each other, but until then, I strive to speak to her in purity.

Ephesians 5:1,3-5 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children... But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints; and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.…

And if he has actually said "You are good marriage material" that is possibly the most offensive thing of all. It shows that he's in the relationship for himself, what good you can do for him, when love is all about what you can do for the other person. read the article "Marriage isn't for you" (I can't post links I guess...)




I didn't want to say it, but...

Datomiv: I've never met you, but I respect you already

 

[musingsofacac]

I would say just from the little I have heard that this guy has some growing up to do. I think the discussion you have with the guys and in front of a girl are two different things.

I think that some discussion(and that's a whole other thread) would be wrong for a Christian no matter who the audience was. But other discussion in good fun with just guys would not be wrong.

I definitely do think its NOT right for him to call you an F...b... However I have been married a while and I can say my wife has called me some nasty names and the b word may have come out of my mouth a time or too. Later I apologize of course.

We are all human and even those of us with Holy Spirit can sometimes be in the flesh and say things we should not.

 

[trulyconverted]

Run. Now.

Yes. Run. Now!