Did your marriage develop from a LDR?

[Stanfi]

I was wondering if any of your marriages developed form a Long Distance Realatioship?

If so, how far apart where you?

How settled were each of you? Meaning did you have a house, a good job, settled on your community and church.

Did both or one of you move? What was sacrificed as result of the move, and what was gained?

Would you do it over?

I really get tired of cliches such as "love conquers all". At this point in my life, I think we too often look at things with "rose colored glasses", and ingore the harsh reality of a situation. When this happens, someone ends up getting hurt.

I am just trying to figure out what the reality of Long Distance Relationships are? Personally, I do not know of any that have ever succeeded.

Thanks

 

[E-beth]

I met Iddie4him on the Net when we both lived 300 miles away from each other. Then after we got engaged his job sent him 500 miles away and he would drive all night (9 hours) just to spend some time with me.

When we got married we both moved away out of state. But if we could have managed it, I think we both would have stuck around in my hometown. My family ties are more centralized, and my family has accepted him as one of our own.

I know a couple who met online while she was in Sweden and he is the USA. The are both Christians and are succeeding.

For me and the other couple, the LDR led to a SECOND marriage, not a first one. Maybe that has something to do with knowing how to make it work better.

 

[Ruhama]

Definitely LDR here, for almost 4 years.
Distance? between... oh, several thousand miles, give or take a country or two.
Settled? No, not really either of us.

I will say it was a complete surprise to the two of us that we got romantically involved; we were just close friends for a long time.

We met in a foreign country, then corresponded over email, moved to the same city at one point for a short time, then were driven apart again by financial problems. Then one of us moved across the country to be with the other - ok well actually a big part of that was also finances - and actually spent a fair amount of time together. But pretty much the vast majority of the past years has been with us apart and corresponding over email, phone, and other internet methods.
Then God moved, and said hey you two, time to get together, all this time I've been preparing you.

So yes, LDRs can work awesome, and this one prepared us really well for our relationship. I think I can definitely say I would have done everything over again.

 

[knightlight72]

Me and my wife had a long distance relationship. We had ended up hitting it off, but the distance was not a good thing and left us dismissing the idea. But because we traveled to the same seminars regualrly, we were meeting up as friends every couple months. We both felt close, but always let it go, because friendship was all we were willing to deal with. After nearly two years of being friends, I finally told I was going crazy seeing her and then leaving with barely a phone call every so often. And to my delight, she felt she really did want to see me as more than a friend. We both felt similar that we really liked each other, but the distance was overwhelming. So we decided to start 'dating'. So I got a phone plan where I had unlimited long distnce(at the time it was a new thing) and literally called her everyday except three days during the next 6 month period. (I saved around 500-700 dollars a month according to my phone bill by using the unlimited plan) Now since we had a good relationship already, it didn't take long once the doors were opened. I asked her to marry me within a couple months, intending to move over to her place. But wouldn't you know a job promotion meant she would have to move to be with me if I was to keep the job. So one month after I got the promotion, she moved to be in the same city, and one month after that we were married. (so the beginning of the 'dating' to the day of marriage was 6 months total) We had considered moving her later and the marriage later too, but we decided we couldn't wait that long. The marriage date literally was bumped up month to month. When we did get married we had changed the dates for the pastor and catering and building 5 times! (Just so we could get married sooner)
Now after all that, 2 1/2 years from meeting to marrying, I do say it worked out great!
I'm now married for almost 5 years and without a doubt, I do have the best wife ever!
I do not know how people maintain a LDR for longer peroids, as I don't even like to leave my wife for a weekend, never mind a month at a time between visists like we used to. My opinion is, if the relationship is so worth it to have the long distance, then it's worth it to change cities and be with them.

 

[Mistyfogg]

My husband and I had a long distance relationship. We met when he lived in California and I lived in Arizona, 6 hours away. He used to drive 6 hours every Friday after he got off work and then leave on Sunday afternoon. I would call him every night on my cell phone that had unlimited night minutes. We knew since we met that we were going to get married. The long distance relationship made us have such a strong bond. We really cherish the time we spend together. After a year, we could not handle it anymore and threw out the "married after college is over" plan and eloped. Unfortunately, after I moved to San Diego to be with him, he was deployed (he is in the Marines) to Iraq. So we were an ocean and a countries apart for 5 months. Now he has been back for 8 months and we could not be any happier. I do not regret anything that I have done. I am the happiest I have ever been and this is where I belong, with my husband