Summary of my life: Born into a Christian family. Been attending church my entire life, yet I still haven't met God even though I truly believe that he exists and is watching me even as I type this message out. Apart from that I'm also transsexual, but I'm not really interested in debating whether I'm meant to be a guy or a girl. I'll let God tell me who I really am when I finally meet him.
Anyway, I was feeling really depressed tonight about being transsexual. I kinda feel like neither a girl nor a guy, but just a freak. And for the next few minutes I kept calling myself a freak. Then I started having some suicidal feelings and I said this sentence, "Born a freak...die a freak..."
And well, all of a sudden I felt this emptiness filling up my chest, (yea I know that sentence sounds stupid; emptiness can't fill stuff up) and it just feels realy weird. I don't know how to explain it at all. It just feels...empty.
Did Jesus leave my heart? Was he ever inside?
=(
Anyway, I was feeling really depressed tonight about being transsexual. I kinda feel like neither a girl nor a guy, but just a freak. And for the next few minutes I kept calling myself a freak. Then I started having some suicidal feelings and I said this sentence, "Born a freak...die a freak..."
And well, all of a sudden I felt this emptiness filling up my chest, (yea I know that sentence sounds stupid; emptiness can't fill stuff up) and it just feels realy weird. I don't know how to explain it at all. It just feels...empty.
Did Jesus leave my heart? Was he ever inside?
=(