Did I or didn't I?

[TULIPgirl]

Hey everybody,
I haven't been on for awhile (partly because since I started taking meds again, my OCD symptoms lessened significantly ), but yesterday I got freaked out over a sort of vow/promise thing...and I know a lot of you have had stuff like this, so maybe you can help!

It's really hard to explain precisely, but I've always had obsessions about vowing or promising to God or the devil about things, as in "If I touch that table, I have to give away something/do something," etc. And mostly I can write this off as OCD and not worry.

But yesterday while I was at work, cleaning a countertop, I didn't want to move a bunch of stuff to wipe underneath (which would have been doing a better job!) and I had this thought in my head about "if I move stuff and wipe under it, I will have to give away X/do X"...which has happened before when I didn't WANT to do something that I probably should have. And I think I "cancel" or something in my head, thinking "no, I can't promise in order to not have to do something." But did I already promise?

So I got worried because of all the times this has happened, and it seems maybe I've been using the obsession as a crutch or a trigger to help me make decisions or do or not do something based on the promise thing. So if I DID allow the promise in my head, talking to God or the devil, do I have to do everything I may have promised? I didn't think anything of it all these times, till I suddenly realized that I may have been allowing or encouraging the thoughts in my head in order to get out of certain things...but I never would have promised anything if I had realized it might "count" for something.

Sorry this is long (and probably confusing)! Maybe somebody's had something like this before...

 

[shelovesChrist]

i think i can of get what you're saying . once i had a thought that said if the devil moves my Bible i will stop serving God and worship Him . i was terrified because it felt so real , makes me wonder where these things come from . like people hiding behind bushes trying to scare you . you feel so victimized . or even if im wiping the stove but don't wipe under the black cages, my mind tries to make up this big thing to where i have to wipe under there . but if you don't do the things , don't feel bad . like if i wipe under there i shouldn't do it out of fear and if i don't, i shouldn't do it as a retaliation of my mind . it sucks when simple things in life are magnified, but God knows our heart . and He is just and righteous . i believe Him over anything . thats really what's been giving me hope , believing His word and not these dumb accusations and fears . hope i helped . praying

 

[awell123]

I also struggle with a vowing OCD. It usually is a vow to do something I don't want to do or a vow to not do something I do want to do. I believe it's OCD, but it is hard to know at times if it's you or the OCD doing it. I am a sports guy and I admit that I get angry at myself if I don't perform up to my abilities, and usually if I get mad a vow comes into my mind that I have to skip a meal and that if I break the vow I lose my salvation. I HATE vowing and perhaps hate skipping meals even more but I wonder if somehow the vow is a result of an anger issue as well. Most of the time I can choke it back, but sometimes I give into it and make the vow and then feel horrible and fearful, and then I usually end up skipping a meal at some point. Each time I feel like it is going to be the last, but then it usually comes back in a different form. I am trying so hard to not do either one (get angry or make vows), and I think that may be making the OCD worse, as I think it attacks what you fear the most. So I wonder 2 things... how do you know whether or not it's OCD and secondly, if you do make a rash vow like this to God out of anger but then repent, will He forgive AND release you from that vow, or are you bound to it?

 

[Jesusisgood]

I feel the same way! I was freaking out yesterday and at night that I would lose my soul. I would think " ifi didnt do ...then i would be giving my soul to...." it scared me to death and i had to call my friend i go to church with. I hate it cause i know it happens when ever i try to get closer to God the enemy tries to pull at me, but I know i love God and hate satan and even if its ocd or not God is bigger than my fear of losing it. My friend told me to keep reading and dont let those lies keep you bound. Im so happy i came to ChristianForums Thank God

 

[tripletiger1200]

When I first started having OCD I discovered that I could use promises to God to get myself to do something. I am scared of breaking a vow, so I would fulfill them. At first the vows were to give up bad habits or sins in my life, but as time went on I think I started using those vows as excuses to motivate myself to do things. I think once you hit that point it is time to reel that back in. It is good to try to give up sinful things or attitudes, but when you're scaring yourself with constant vows, many of them having little to do with God then it may be time to pull it in a little. I try not to make vows, I prefer to tell God that I will try my hardest to do something. Then just keep your word and if you fail then at least you tried.

 

[Mr. Runningfish]

I almost made a vow today- well, in truth I did. Then I just told myself, "stupid ocd, it's not real". Then I laughed at myself.

 

[Hermit7]

I suffer greatly from this. But I tend to call them "bargains"--like if I did this as opposed to that, that I'm forfieting my salvation or something like that.

Sometimes I could ward it off. But sometimes it just feels so real. And when those times come, I have to punish myself some how to "make up for it". It sucks.

But the thing that hurts is whether God or not really is going to keep me bound to these bargains or not.

 

[awell123]

I've been spending some time on the scrupe group site. It is a Lutheran site, so theologically I don't see some things the same, but they are good to bounce things off of and Pastor Bob has been helpful to me. Incidentally, there are other non-Lutherans on there as well. What I am learning is that unless a vow is heartfelt and intentional, it is non-binding. And for those of us with OCD, the more we try NOT to vow, the more likely we are to vow. So I believe that any vows generated by OCD are non-binding and that God expects us to ignore them and move on. I know from experience that it's not always easy, but I believe it is true. And things like "If "X" happens then that means "Y" is classic OCD. And by the way, I believe the bible is pretty specific that we are not to make vows anyway, so use that as a foundation that you want to obey and hopefully any "vows" made after that can be written off and ignored as OCD.

 

[awell123]

I've been spending some time on the scrupe group site. It is a Lutheran site, so theologically I don't see some things the same, but they are good to bounce things off of and Pastor Bob has been helpful to me. Incidentally, there are other non-Lutherans on there as well. What I am learning is that unless a vow is heartfelt and intentional, it is non-binding. And for those of us with OCD, the more we try NOT to vow, the more likely we are to vow. So I believe that any vows generated by OCD are non-binding and that God expects us to ignore them and move on. I know from experience that it's not always easy, but I believe it is true. And things like "If "X" happens then that means "Y" is classic OCD. And by the way, I believe the bible is pretty specific that we are not to make vows anyway, so use that as a foundation that you want to obey and hopefully any "vows" made after that can be written off and ignored as OCD.

 

[dabro]

NA, Your OCD just found footing in something and is giving you a hard time. Don't feel bad I have been having a rough time to with my OCD

 

[teairrah11]

Wow, I know what you are going through because I dealt with the same overwhelming burden of worry and guilt. So this is what I decided to do: I prayed and thanked God/Yahweh for knowing me and completely understanding the complexity of the OCD symptoms. I asked God/Yahweh to disregard any and every promise I have made and may make in my mind. I also asked Yahweh that if He is asking me to do something that He will reveal this to me NOT through my mind, but through someone He has anointed to give me wisdom about the situation, such as my man of God.

I don't know if this will help you, but it has totally set me free from worrying about promises I may have made, and whenever I feel the urge to make promises in my mind or start to worry about what I may have said in my mind, I trust that Yahweh heard my prayers and are paying those thoughts no attention. Instantly the anxiety goes away and I can move pass it. In your case, you probably want to add for Yahweh to disregard any promises/vows you think you have made with your actions.

Now, this takes trust. You have to Trust that Yahweh understands this disease and the promises/vows you think you are making, or actually are making, is a result of this disease.

Remember, Yahweh knows what you are going through and this is NOT the way He wants you to live. This was His sole purpose for sending His one and only Son Jesus into the world: to set us free from ALL sickness and disease. It breaks His heart to see you suffer like this and the only true cure from this is trust in Yahweh.

 

[teairrah11]

Wow, I know what you are going through because I dealt with the same overwhelming burden of worry and guilt. So this is what I decided to do: I prayed and thanked God/Yahweh for knowing me and completely understanding the complexity of the OCD symptoms. I asked God/Yahweh to disregard any and every promise I have made and may make in my mind. I also asked Yahweh that if He is asking me to do something that He will reveal this to me NOT through my mind, but through someone He has anointed to give me wisdom about the situation, such as my man of God.

I don't know if this will help you, but it has totally set me free from worrying about promises I may have made, and whenever I feel the urge to make promises in my mind or start to worry about what I may have said in my mind, I trust that Yahweh heard my prayers and are paying those thoughts no attention. Instantly the anxiety goes away and I can move pass it. In your case, you probably want to add for Yahweh to disregard any promises/vows you think you have made with your actions.


Now, this takes trust. You have to Trust that Yahweh understands this disease and the promises/vows you think you are making, or actually are making, is a result of this disease.

Remember, Yahweh knows what you are going through and this is NOT the way He wants you to live. This was His sole purpose for sending His one and only Son Jesus into the world: to set us free from ALL sickness and disease. It breaks His heart to see you suffer like this and the only true cure from this is trust in Yahweh.

 

[haoer1978]

i have been living with ocd for almost 20 years ,sometimes sober ,sometimes confused ,sometimes peaceful.here are some tips for dealing with ocd.
firstly ,we must know that ocd are very tricky,it is good at combining some totally irrelevant ideas/conceptions to creat maximum fear through attacking our weakest point.and it can spike at any time ,any place in any way.so we must know that when an intrusive thought come in ,you should not analyze it with logic because it only make things worse .you should not argue with it ,it only lead to greater confusion.all you should do is indifferent to it ,you can observe many dogs like barking during the midnight ,but finally ,they will consume they energy and take rest,so do the intrusive thought.
Secondly,Do not resent ocd ,resent yourself ,resent anyone or thing who caused you to get ocd. Resentment makes you irritable and it provides fertile soil for ocd.treat ocd like a naught boy ,don't get angry at it.Never hate yourself ,forget the sentence :i would ......without Ocd".Never think you are superior to other people .Never put too much weight on fame and money ,it is not the only reason we come to this world .Make more friends and live happily everyday.
Thirdly ,Take off your "defending shield", do not live in the fear ,regret .Fear is the foe of love .Love can cure OCD.Focus on the work you are doing even when OCD spikes .
Fourthly,some people feel very dispointed and desperate when Ocd relapses,
actually ,it is not a big deal ,you just treat it like being bited by the same dog another time ,The wound will heal quite soon.
I do hope these tips will help you a bit ,if so ,i will be very happy

 

[lilipunzel]

OCD is not a theological issue. It is a brain issue. As both a therapist who specializes in OCD and a Christian, I see people getting caught up in analyzing the content, which is exactly what the OCD wants you to do. OCD is Obsessions paired with compulsions. The treatment is exposure response prevention, regardless of the content. If you engage in the process of facing the fear and not doing the compulsion, which may be mental, the oCD begins to go away.
Be careful not to get caught up in the content. People I see are suffering needlessly. There is plenty of research on the treatment of OCD.