Did husband comit adultery too??

[coolchicka]

Okay, I ended up marrying a divorced man. I married him under peer pressure that was part of it. I found out after I married him that his (then) first wife cheated on him. Anyways after that before there divorce was final he then moved into a apartment with another women himself. He said he wasn't a Christian before he did this but does that still make him a adultrier too?

Sense being in the marriage with him we are 20 years apart I've pretty much hated it the whole time enjoying being with him sometimes more often not though. And how he treats me he hardly shows any real effection or nothing he's called me names too said some pretty cruel things to me.

Well all of this actually drove me to another man myself while being married to him. So basically I committed adultery just looking for someone to treat me right.

It's so bad I just wanna divorce him anyhow most of the times. But I'm in a situation were I have hardly have any family. We both live with my father who says if I want the divorce I gotta move out and I'm never aloud back home ever. Or having any contact with either of them. My mom is dead. And my dad is part at fault of this all having this man move in with us before me and him was even married putting me in the situation.

This man most the time isn't nice to me at all unless I follow all his rules. Now sense having no family at all hardly if we divorce I am never aloud having another man into my life because all of this and just gotta live alone. Or if I ever got into a situation got remarried would god forgive me?? Or would I be living in constant sin even if I repented??

 

[DZoolander]

Figured you weren't getting the advice you wanted in the married couples forum, so just moved on over here?

 

[kristina411]

I am in a sort of similar situation and I dont have the answers you are looking for. I prayed for years on it, prayed for my husband and M forgiveness...
No matter how it is seen by God, I have realized that "loop holes" are not going to change His mind. If He says something is a sin it is a sin. Jesus gave us the circumstances to which it was acceptable and I doubt a loop hole such as "maybe he is an adulterer" will help the situation.
But- I do think you could be forgiven. If this husband is not abusive and not cheating on you, my recommendation would be to seek out marriage counseling by a local pastor, but someone neither of you are close with. They can help the two of you find ways to connect, get the spark going in your marriage, make sure both of your needs are met.
I think divorce is just too easy and marriage was not intended for divorce. If your husband is not willing to meet with you in counseling and is not willing to put forth effort in your marriage after you give full effort, I think it wouldn't be so bad. I at least hope God would feel compassion for you after truly trying. But prayer, prayer is most important right now.
I'm a bit late but this is my two cents

 

[ulu]

Well all of this actually drove me to another man myself while being married to him. .

Cheating is never anyone else's responsibility. You need to be honest with yourself.

 

[Dave-W]

All 3 of you need to get into some serious bible based counseling.

 

[moerunamida]

Your husband sounds like a vile, monstrosity of a man who berates you. You are being abused emotionally, and I sure hope you are not being physically hit because you do not follow his 'rules'. He is suppose to love you as Christ loved the church, and what he is doing is far from it.

This sounds a lot like my ex husband. It is not adultery to dream of someone to treat you with love, kindness, and respect. Please, get out now.