developing confidence

Saucy · Sep 4, 2012

I want to start this out with a little history for those who dont know. i used to weigh over 600 pounds a few years ago. i was always a little heavy and bulky but after my dad died i went crazy and ballooned up. well in the past 2.5 years ive lost nearly 300 of that. my body is shedding weight like it never has before. At church this past sunday i had 7 different people approach me and say i was looking good. since wrking at my current job for about two months ive lost 35!

Despite losimg all that weight my brain is still stuck on 600-pound mode. i still see myself as this disgusting monster and it is really destroying my confidence.

Rhye · Sep 4, 2012

ANTHONY! You are amazing. Amazing. That is incredible. You are not a monster.

Saucy · Sep 4, 2012

Im really trying to change my life in so many ways. i had so much ptsd after my dad died i didnt want to leave the house. it was a horrific accident. i gained the weight and got suicidal and had an intervention thanks to the Lord andbits been a long process getting healthy mentally and physically. i just wished people knew before they judged me.

SOLDIER &#10084; · Sep 4, 2012

The Phenom said:
I want to start this out with a little history for those who dont know. i used to weigh over 600 pounds a few years ago. i was always a little heavy and bulky but after my dad died i went crazy and ballooned up. well in the past 2.5 years ive lost nearly 300 of that. my body is shedding weight like it never has before. At church this past sunday i had 7 different people approach me and say i was looking good. since wrking at my current job for about two months ive lost 35!

Despite losimg all that weight my brain is still stuck on 600-pound mode. i still see myself as this disgusting monster and it is really destroying my confidence.

I know how you feel, but your not a monster and you are really handsome. I've always said that. And you've had girls tell you this no? So...In my book evidence speaks for its self. You just have to build that confidence and say, "I'M THE MAN!!!"

Miss Spaulding · Sep 4, 2012

You've lost 35 lbs since you started your job?? Oh my goodness, that's so awesome! I'm really glad to hear it. This is one of the things you wanted. You knew once you started this new job you'd be able to begin losing the rest of the weight, and you are! That's fantastic.

I know it's hurtful to have people judge you, but you cannot let it get to you. Let them judge, criticize and make fun all the want...because 'you' know the truth, and God will certainly hold them accountable for their hatefulness.

Saucy · Sep 4, 2012

Thanks ya'll. i might post some new pics of me. maybe lol. havent posted any since i started working there

Obzocky · Sep 4, 2012

Time. You need time to adjust to the fact your body is changing, no amount of people telling you that you are handsome will change that. The confidence will increase if you take the time to sit down, make a note of the positives you've seen and the positives others have commented on. It will take time to stop perceiving yourself as you were before; 2 1/2 years to lose that much weight is a very short amount of time for your brain to adjust, negative opinions cannot be removed completely just through changing the physical. You need to sit there and actively work on the positive.

When you have negatives you must take the time to think about whether these are rational, to think of a positive, keep track of your progress and when the "i'm a disgusting monster" thoughts come up you need to work on catching your negatives and looking towards the positives. It takes a good deal of work to get over a deeply ingrained negative self image, and it requires a lot of self motivation to get over the lingering thoughts and genuinely accept that you have changed.

Squeakers · Sep 4, 2012

Obzocky said:
Time. You need time to adjust to the fact your body is changing, no amount of people telling you that you are handsome will change that. The confidence will increase if you take the time to sit down, make a note of the positives you've seen and the positives others have commented on. It will take time to stop perceiving yourself as you were before; 2 1/2 years to lose that much weight is a very short amount of time for your brain to adjust, negative opinions cannot be removed completely just through changing the physical. You need to sit there and actively work on the positive.

When you have negatives you must take the time to think about whether these are rational, to think of a positive, keep track of your progress and when the "i'm a disgusting monster" thoughts come up you need to work on catching your negatives and looking towards the positives. It takes a good deal of work to get over a deeply ingrained negative self image, and it requires a lot of self motivation to get over the lingering thoughts and genuinely accept that you have changed.

I agree with this.

You just gotta keep working on the positives instead of the negatives.

anewday · Sep 5, 2012

Squeakers said:
I agree with this.

You just gotta keep working on the positives instead of the negatives.

Wow, that is amazing Anthony

!!! You have to focus on thinking more positively. I'm working on this myself. Whenever I see an inspiring quote, I type it in my special quote document. When I'm having one of my bad days, I try to look at these quotes to help pull me out of my depression. Keep going and trying. You have come so far from where you were.

TheUnforeseen · Sep 5, 2012

Wow, that is an amazing change! Congratulations. Maybe you could take up a hobby like music, or a sports? I know since I've taken up music it has given me a big boost in confidence. Get involved with something

Saucy · Sep 5, 2012

Thats another huge change...getting back out there and interacting with people and not thinking im beimg judged or whatever. its that mindset i really hate about myself. i often think i have no one when i have tons of friends now. i think im disgusting when im getting told more and more how attractive i am. one of the girls at work calls me beautiful eyes haha. and at the doctors yestersay one of the girls joled about giving me her number. but my confidence level batted that away when it couldve been an opportunity.

Keri · Sep 5, 2012

The Phenom said:
I want to start this out with a little history for those who dont know. i used to weigh over 600 pounds a few years ago. i was always a little heavy and bulky but after my dad died i went crazy and ballooned up. well in the past 2.5 years ive lost nearly 300 of that. my body is shedding weight like it never has before. At church this past sunday i had 7 different people approach me and say i was looking good. since wrking at my current job for about two months ive lost 35!

Despite losimg all that weight my brain is still stuck on 600-pound mode. i still see myself as this disgusting monster and it is really destroying my confidence.

I know how you feel. My loss has not been as much as yours, but I think anytime you were one weight for so long and then lose a significant amount of weight it takes time to adjust mentally. It seems silly but I haven't really accepted the loss until I was able to start going into any clothing store that I wanted and buying something I liked and not having to worry about the sizes. It's only been in the last few months that I've been able to purchase size L from shops downtown. Yes, fashion has been kind and shirts and such are in the baggy/oversized look right now, but I also have seen this reflected in the jean sizes that I've been buying. I'm fitting in to a size I haven't worn since I was 13/14 years old.

I think the last two years have helped in the development of confidence. And in areas that don't include weight/size. I went back to school. I decided to apply for uni and see if I could get in based on my portfolio (which I had no confidence in). I submitted my work to art shows. I managed to sell my art. I made an effort to meet people/develop friendships.

I know that each person's method of developing confidence will be different, so you just need to evaluate what you want different, what will make you happy and seek them out. Try to find confidence in non-weight related areas and it will all reflect confidence in the end. I don't even know if this makes sense. I hope so.

SnowyMacie · Sep 5, 2012

The Phenom said:
Thats another huge change...getting back out there and interacting with people and not thinking im beimg judged or whatever. its that mindset i really hate about myself. i often think i have no one when i have tons of friends now. i think im disgusting when im getting told more and more how attractive i am. one of the girls at work calls me beautiful eyes haha. and at the doctors yestersay one of the girls joled about giving me her number. but my confidence level batted that away when it couldve been an opportunity.

Like others have said, it takes time. You basically have to "re-wire" how you think about yourself.

Obzocky · Sep 5, 2012

The Phenom said:
Thats another huge change...getting back out there and interacting with people and not thinking im beimg judged or whatever. its that mindset i really hate about myself. i often think i have no one when i have tons of friends now. i think im disgusting when im getting told more and more how attractive i am. one of the girls at work calls me beautiful eyes haha. and at the doctors yestersay one of the girls joled about giving me her number. but my confidence level batted that away when it couldve been an opportunity.

It's a mindset that will persist until your brain wraps itself around the fact that you have changed. Until that happens you're always going to have little shadows whispering in your ear, and even when you do grow in confidence those shadows will persist. It is very, very hard to go from feeling like you're a disgusting land whale everyone hates to accepting that people can see you as an attractive and likeable person. You could have the best friend a pleasant personality can buy and still feel they only hang around with you out of pity until you have replaced the majority of your negative feelings with positive ones.

You shouldn't hate that aspect of yourself, but understand that it stemmed from a very real feeling which is still going to have an impact on how you view the world. Words from others are unfortunately meaningless until we start to believe them on more than a temporary basis. It cannot be repeated enough that your negative mindset did not develop in a day and it will not disappear in a day either. It will improve, steadily, but it is not something that can be rushed or that you should become complacent about. It requires a conscious effort to make sure you get to a place where a single negative comment/day can send you slipping back into old habits.

Take it from a serial slipper-upper, it's a habit you want to break .

trentlogain2 · Sep 5, 2012

monster is what i call my pet dog. you sir, are not that. you're actually a cool dude.

turnleft · Sep 5, 2012

The Phenom said:
I want to start this out with a little history for those who dont know. i used to weigh over 600 pounds a few years ago. i was always a little heavy and bulky but after my dad died i went crazy and ballooned up. well in the past 2.5 years ive lost nearly 300 of that. my body is shedding weight like it never has before. At church this past sunday i had 7 different people approach me and say i was looking good. since wrking at my current job for about two months ive lost 35!

Good night! I don't know you at all, but let me say congratulations!!! That's incredible. Really - what an amazing story! The term "monster" really only applies to how monstrously impressive that is.

Personally, I have found that inner dialogue can make or break you. It's sort of been a discipline I've been forming for a while now - to make sure I balance the negative thoughts with absolute truth. Isn't that such a trick? Reconciling how we feel with what we know to be true?

Once again, well done!

Touma · Sep 6, 2012

Good lord. I can't even get myself to lose 10, and you have lost so much! That is actually inspirational. I can say that, despite our difference of opinion on many things, I am very blessed to know you. You are a good man. I am proud to call you a brother and a friend. Good luck on future weight loss, and chin up. You are no 'monster'. You are a man of God, made in his image. You are doing what so many others cannot do. Be proud about that.

GQ Chris · Sep 6, 2012

Congratulations on the weight loss.

m.a.r.X · Sep 6, 2012

The Phenom said:
I want to start this out with a little history for those who dont know. i used to weigh over 600 pounds a few years ago. i was always a little heavy and bulky but after my dad died i went crazy and ballooned up. well in the past 2.5 years ive lost nearly 300 of that. my body is shedding weight like it never has before. At church this past sunday i had 7 different people approach me and say i was looking good. since wrking at my current job for about two months ive lost 35!

Thats awesome mate
Really AMZING

The Phenom said:
Despite losimg all that weight my brain is still stuck on 600-pound mode. i still see myself as this disgusting monster and it is really destroying my confidence.

Yeah, it takes some time but keep doing what you are doing.

BTW, how about writing your weight loss vs time in a paper along with the good comments you get and sticking it to the mirror in your room !
I read that in a book, gonna try it myself (I'm at the other extreme, I'm too thin, trying to gain weight now )

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developing confidence

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Cat and music lover.

This girl is on fire.

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ooey gooey is for brownies, not Bible teachers

Just keep goin !

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