desperation,

[Seeking020]

I don't know why you all are so happy, actually I do, know, I am not resentful, I am just lost, where is God?? I know I'm christian,,, but I'm going backwards instead of forwards, drowning instead of swimming Im loosing my strength I just might suffocate, and completely die on the inside like the rotted out core of a worm infested apple, just a little hole on the outside but once you cut it open,..............., I know that is not possible for me to completely die on the inside because I have Jesus in my soul, but sometimes, the desperation distorts the truth that I know to be the truth

 

[Bradford]

Moved from Around the World to Depression. Depression mods, if this isn't right, feel free to move again.

 

[VivDaGurl]

Sometimes, when we found ourself being drowned under the raging sea, we seems to lost our grip and couldn't seems to find our way back. Everything around us look so dark and we don't even know which direction we should swim towards to. We just go round and round in a circle. Seeking 020, please don't feel bad over there. What you are experiencing now is quite normal.

When you walk down a few streets out there, do you find that you don't even walk through a smooth road out there? There are ups and downs, bumps, holes, unpleasant smell roads, blockages, etc. This is how life is like. When we go the church, we are full of energy and high lifted up but when we are out of church, our spirit just go down suddenly.

We feel that God is just so far-far away and we don't even know where He is when we need Him so much. Seeking020, God is just by ourside and He had never leave us, never, ever He'll leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). It's how we relate to Him and how close we are to Him.

I believe you have close friends and normal friends, right? How do you define your close friends? Do you see them often, communicate with them as much as possible, try to get to know them better, when you are with them you are just so happy? On the other hand, when you are with normal friends, you just say hi and bye to them, you don't really communicate with them that much, you hardly see them and so on.

Being a Christian is talking about our relationship with the Lord, our Heavenly Father, the creator and finisher of our life. We should have a good relationship with God and be close to Him in order to know Him better and be blessed by Him. We need to treat Him as our close friend, a friend whom we can trust and a friend who will help you whenever you need help. It's just very simple, communicate with Him through and read the Bible often to know Him better. See Him as your lover, like when you fall in love with someone, you want to know as much as you could about the person.

I would suggest you to start reading the four Gospels in the Bible - Luke, Mark, John and Matthew. Read a chapter a day and medidate on His Word. You'll see a difference. God be with you.