depression

It sounds like you have clinical depression. This is a real illness with a biological component to it, just like having a cold or the flu, but this illness effects the mind. By all means pray for God to heal you but don't expect miracles, He gave us the gift of medicine for a reason, so if someone tells you "you have a demon, pray for God to take it away" don't listen, depression can certainly be used as a tool by demons, etc but it is not caused by demons themselves.

You should go see a doctor about it.  If your family thinks your weird ask them "would you think I'm weird if I had the flu? No, well this is just the same".  You need to explain to your mother, although alot of people do go through depression, it doesn't mean they should, and depression can and does lead to sufferers becoming suicidal, so it is a serious illness.

I pray you get better.

Yes depression is very real, My mind got so bad that I ended up in the psych ward for 4 days. I have been taking meds for it for almost 2 years now.

It is not just a lack of worship or being in tune with the Lord and his people either.

yeah it is a serious thing and isn't just a sign you are going "crazy as some people think.

Depression can mean one of two things. One just means you're sad; that's not "really" depression, it's sadness. Nothing wrong with being sad sometimes, but it's not the same. What you describe sounds more like clinical depression, meaning, it sounds like it may meet the diagnostic criteria used to call it a "mental illness". I'm not trying to insult you and say you're crazy; I'm letting you know that, if you have a lack of energy, and trouble caring about things, and nothing you do fixes it for long, that you probably have a biochemical imbalance in your head. You're not a bad person, God isn't angry at you, you're just a bit sick; think of it like having a cold, only mentally.

If you're depressed, you may want to consider seeing a shrink of some sort. Depression is something many people can just live with, especially if it's mild, or you get a fair amount of time when you're not depressed. However, when it gets more serious, it's potentially lethal; someone over on Internet Infidels committed suicide last week. Why? He was depressed.

Don't think of this as a question of personal will, or where you are in your relationship with God. Think of it as a potentially lethal medical condition. At least *talk* to a shrink, especially if you've even *thought* about suicide. Essentially, this is one of those things where the chemicals in your brain can pretty much keep you from being in control of your life... possibly permanently.

I cannot stress enough: Don't blow this off. Don't take it as a personal insult. Some people are diabetic, and need to take insulin and avoid sugary foods. Some people have hemophilia, and have to avoid bleeding wounds, no matter how trivial. Some people are depressed.

Depending on your exact situation, you might be fine with a bit of counseling, or you might be better off taking some antidepressants.

I think there's a lot of social stigma about being "crazy" as though somehow, even though good people can have any kind of physical ailment and still be good people, anything that goes wrong with your brain makes you bad.

I'm afraid I'm not a licensed psych person or anything, but if you have any friends or family who are having a hard time coping, I'd be glad to try to talk to them on your behalf, tell them that you're not just making this up.

I just heard today that a friend of mine from Internet Infidels committed suicide. You'll forgive me if I'm a bit pushy about depressed people right now, I hope.

Your mom is wrong. Sorry for bluntness, but... She's wrong. She's trying to find some way to not have a "crazy" relative, 'cuz if you've got a crazy person in your family, it makes you look bad, and if it's serious enough to need counseling, well, we just don't *do* that sort of thing in this family. Or maybe not, but that's my reading of it, and it's a common emotional response.

Do not listen to her. I mean, listen, but don't let her push you around. If you want, PM me and I'll happily talk to her about why depression is *serious stuff*.

Do pray, but you know what God normally does in this case? He says "I'm on it. I have a large team of highly-trained professionals. Go talk to one of them."

There is no dishonor, no shame, in seeking treatment when you need it. What you describe is *exactly* the kind of depression that psychologists *can* help with. You may end up being best off with antidepressants. I don't know why people get so upset about this. I mean, if you were diabetic, would she be arguing that you should pray *instead* of controlling your diet and maybe taking insulin? I'd *hope* not!

Prayer can do anything, but generally, God prefers that we make at least a reasonable effort at solving our problems.

And I'm not kidding; if you want me to call her up and talk to her, I'll do it. I'm not a doctor, but hey, if she thinks you don't need a doctor, why should she care?

Hey Blueiversion...I struggle with very severe depression. And for a long time I was afraid of taking medicine too--all the stigma and then my own questions "why can't I just have enough faith" or "maybe if I pray more." Well a very wise pastor I went to see about this made me realize that God gives us medical breakthroughs for a reason. He does. There's no reason why we shouldn't see antidepressants as a gift from Him. Depression, as all illnesses, is a result of the fall of man. It absolutely is. The Lord doesn't like it. He hates it, in fact. But He absolutely USES IT. He does. He uses it for HIS KINGDOM. That's why He allows you to suffer from this disease but then He sustains you through it you know why? To bring Him glory! It's awesome, when you really stop and think abou it. And as far as counseling goes, here's another thing that pastor pointed out to me...God gave us His Church, the Body, for a reason. He doesn't want us to walk through anything alone. Read 1 Corinthians 12, about the body of believers. That's what it's all about. God has given some people the gift of counseling and of being able to help lift others up and walk with them through this horrible disease. There's no shame and no wrong in that. I don't know what kind of church you go to, but most have pastoral care for their members and that's the kind of thing those people deal with. PLEASE do yourself a favor and talk to you pastor, priest, what have you. PLEASE. I can't tell you how glad I am that I did. It's changed my life. They can point you in the right direction. I'm praying!
Be Blessed,
AggieCatholic

Depression is something that I have been really struggling with this year. I lost my father the week of 9/11/02 (no not due to terrorists, but unexpectedly still) during the same time we found out that my mother had cancer (they were both young bearly sixty). I have spent the last year helping my mother while she went through chemo and radiation, and surgery. I have had a very difficult time rising out from under the grief of the loss of my father. Sometimes I find myself feeling guilty for wanting to truly feel deep joy again. Then I find myself feeling guilty for not being able to rejoice. I would not have made it as far as I have with out the Hand of the Lord.

*hugs sierraf & blueiversion*
hey you don't need to feel guilty bout not wanting to feel bad !!
God please give sierraf all he needs, carry him & his mom thru this & draw them really close to you. Please take what's upestening (if thats a word )
them and fill their hearts with your love, deep peace and the greatest and deepest joy again. Please let them feel all safe with you and help them trust in you and place things in your hands. In Jesus' name. Amen

oh theres this cool song that's so been touching me when I didn't feel so cool it goes
I'm trading my sorrows
I'm trading my shame
I'm laying them down
for the joy of the Lord

I'm trading my sickness
I'm trading my pain
I'm laying them down for the joy of tjhe Lord

we sing yes Lord, yes Lord, yes yes Lord,
yes Lord, yes Lord. yes yes Lord,
yes Lord, yes Lord, yes yes Lord, Amen

I am pressed but not crushed
persecuted not abandoned
struck down but not destroyed
I am blessed beyond the curse
for His promise will endure
that His joy's gonna be my strength

(thats even in the bible in some psalm I think )

though the sorrow may last for the night
His joy comes with the morning !

& if you feel too guilty cause of that
just replace
the joy with love

sierraf: check your PM box.

Originally posted by blueiverson
other friends never seem to listen, so i don't know what they think about this.  all i know is that i've tried to talk to people about problems, but they acted like no christian was supposed to have a bad day.  actually, i was told this.  "why are you having a bad day? i never have a bad DAY".

i think i have a problem with eating.  and if you wanna call it a ED...fine.  but my mom thinks that it's normal for me to worry a lot about my weight...all the time.  so...i'm not sure if it's normal.  i'm not even sure how much normal people think about eating food AND not wanting food.  but all i know is that it's driving me insane.

finally, in a way, i'm ashamed sometimes, so i don't want to talk about it with anyone i know.  my spiritual life is at a halt right now, and i feel bad.  but at the same time, i feel so weak that i don't wanna do anything about it.  i don't know...

Click to expand...

My dear blueiversion,

The Gospel of the happy face has destroyed more in Christianity than can be told. That Gospel tells you that Christians are happy, if you're not happy, you're not a Christian so at least act happy and carry on the pretense. If your fellow Christians can't listen to you, then you are not the only one who needs spiritual help.

It is NOT normal to worry about eating but it IS common. Eating is the symptom not the problem and worrying about eating just distracts from the real work of spiritual growth. I had one really wise Christian woman tell me that spiritual growth for her began when she gave up worrying about her weight. She's right.

Remember that Jesus said that those who mourn their sin and deficiencies are blessed, for they will be comforted. Here is a GREAT scripture for you when Satan uses your conscience against you.

"This then is how we know that we belong to the truth and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence when our hearts condemn us---For God is greater than our hearts and he knows everything. I John 3:20

Depression is a gift to view the world from another angle rather than always from levity, try to understand that. If we were always happy we would be desensitized and we wouldn't be subtle to the emotion, it'd become just a higher standard. We need to have a difference, an opposite to happiness to truly appreciate it. I personally believe that I'd rather be depressed more than happy so that I could cherish those higher notes more. Happiness is when you pull your head out of the muck and get a breath of joy because God, if He truly is there, made life difficult so we could experience all different sorts of emotions and value happiness the most. Isn't that why we commit sins in the first place, to reach any form of happiness?

Don't despise depression because sooner or later you will learn and benefit from the knowledge you learned while crawling through that manure.

Depression is a disease. It's something I didn't know I had for 30 years. I'm on medication now. I wish I had fixed this 15 years ago. Happiness had nothing to do with why I went to the counselor. If it had to do with happiness I would have figured out something was wrong faster. Depression is more than happiness and sadness.
After 30 years, it's nice to enjoy waking up in the morning. I regret having to go to bed because I don't want the day to end.
I enjoy living. I never knew what that felt like.

Originally posted by blueiverson
thank you to both of you for your words. yeah, things are getting to make more sense now. sometimes it just takes another person to tell me those things. because usually if i think that myself, i feel as if i'm just crazy. like i'm making an excuse for being down. anyways, thanks for the reassuring words.

Click to expand...

Well, in a way, you *are* crazy. Most people are a little around the edges. Depression is sort of like the diabetes of mental health; lots of people get it, it can be fatal if untreated, and it's worth having it looked at.

Originally posted by blueiverson
seebs,

yeah, i kinda understand what you are saying. but what i meant was that when you're (or i'm) down, you (i) can think anything. so anything that i think that SHOULD lift me up doesn't. cuz then i just think that i'm making an excuse for myself. another words, like even if i thought the same things broken machine had said...if i would've thought them up myself, i would push them aside cuz then i would think that i'm excusing myself. like i don't trust my own thoughts when i'm down. does that make sense?

Click to expand...

Yeah, it does. Sounds a lot like what a few of my friends have. DEFINITELY see a counselor; I've lost people to depression in the past. I mean, technically, I can't practice psychology over the internet, 'cuz I have no license, and only a bachelor's degree... But my layman's opinion is that you have real clinical depression, which is often fatal if not treated.