Depression with psychotic features

[InThePottersChamber]

Hi everyone

When I was 17, I got diagnosed with depression along with psychotic features. This means different things depending on a case by case basis, but for me it means that if my depressive episode lasts for too long, I get psychosis, which means I am in a state of delusion (never hallucinated, only got delusions). All throughout my life, I have always envied Christians who could 'feel' God's presence and guidance 24/7, never got depressed like me, had almost perfect discernment, and were leaders and successes in their lives. I knew that if I could sense God and his guidance 24/7 like they did I could be successful too. It's important to add however, that getting success is not my main goal and never was, I just wanted to sense God, to follow his will, of course at first this meant success, but as I matured I truly desired only God. So please don't include "you want success and not god" in your replies.

I never experienced his presence and guidance until recently. I'm 26 this year, and I was prescribe a high dosage of antipsychotics for my terrible depression, because anti depressants wouldn't work. At first, the doctor gave me 400mg of Seroquel, but I felt no different. She eventually upped the dosage to 800mg, and although I was reluctant to take so much (just google the side effects, which range from diabetes, cholesterol and blood sugar problems, to cardiovascular problems) I decided to bite the bullet and try it out for a few weeks. Within the first day I immediately felt a difference. For the first time in my life I felt good, I felt God, I could hear from him. I received dreams, comfort, joy, and all the bad habits (sins) I was struggling with fell away. Not to mention amazing benefits like improved cognitive functions and improved memory. My spiritual mentors recognised the difference, everyone was happy for me. I was happy too, I knew I finally felt how 'normal people' do.

The trouble is, I gained 0.7kg within one week, my muscles felt weak and shrunk, I had pains and tremors in my legs, not to mention my cholesterol and blood sugar scaled the heights. My doctor went back to 400 mg Seroquel, and I don't feel good anymore. My mental illness is returning. The low dosage works to keep away the life threatening symptoms at bay, but I still feel constantly exhausted and my cognitive functioning is as bad as before. I feel so discouraged. It's like I have to choose between a healthy brain or a healthy body. I don't know why God allows me to suffer like this. I have had this illness for nine years, more, only I was diagnosed at 17... I heard that Pastor Rick Warren's son died from suicide, was this how he felt?

 

[Sabertooth]

Along with your psychiatrist's care, you should seek out a church that is good with mental illness.

The Church & Mental Illness...

 

[JohnC101]

Nobodies situation is perfect, we all have issues to overcome with God's help. Always remember, God isn't going to put us in situations where His grace can't reach us!

2 Corinthians 12: 7-10 "And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong."

May God bless your endeavors!

 

[timf]

Many things can effect depression like diet and nutrition as well as sleep and exercise. A medical doctor may only look through the lens of pharmaceuticals.

There is an over the counter supplement SAMe that is used by prescription in Europe for depression, but may be neglected here because it is not prescipable.

You may wish to experiment with various ways to manage things

 

[returntosender]

Hi everyone

When I was 17, I got diagnosed with depression along with psychotic features. This means different things depending on a case by case basis, but for me it means that if my depressive episode lasts for too long, I get psychosis, which means I am in a state of delusion (never hallucinated, only got delusions). All throughout my life, I have always envied Christians who could 'feel' God's presence and guidance 24/7, never got depressed like me, had almost perfect discernment, and were leaders and successes in their lives. I knew that if I could sense God and his guidance 24/7 like they did I could be successful too. It's important to add however, that getting success is not my main goal and never was, I just wanted to sense God, to follow his will, of course at first this meant success, but as I matured I truly desired only God. So please don't include "you want success and not god" in your replies.

I never experienced his presence and guidance until recently. I'm 26 this year, and I was prescribe a high dosage of antipsychotics for my terrible depression, because anti depressants wouldn't work. At first, the doctor gave me 400mg of Seroquel, but I felt no different. She eventually upped the dosage to 800mg, and although I was reluctant to take so much (just google the side effects, which range from diabetes, cholesterol and blood sugar problems, to cardiovascular problems) I decided to bite the bullet and try it out for a few weeks. Within the first day I immediately felt a difference. For the first time in my life I felt good, I felt God, I could hear from him. I received dreams, comfort, joy, and all the bad habits (sins) I was struggling with fell away. Not to mention amazing benefits like improved cognitive functions and improved memory. My spiritual mentors recognised the difference, everyone was happy for me. I was happy too, I knew I finally felt how 'normal people' do.

The trouble is, I gained 0.7kg within one week, my muscles felt weak and shrunk, I had pains and tremors in my legs, not to mention my cholesterol and blood sugar scaled the heights. My doctor went back to 400 mg Seroquel, and I don't feel good anymore. My mental illness is returning. The low dosage works to keep away the life threatening symptoms at bay, but I still feel constantly exhausted and my cognitive functioning is as bad as before. I feel so discouraged. It's like I have to choose between a healthy brain or a healthy body. I don't know why God allows me to suffer like this. I have had this illness for nine years, more, only I was diagnosed at 17... I heard that Pastor Rick Warren's son died from suicide, was this how he felt?

I saw rick warren talking about his son. Try not to compare. You are separate individuals. God may have an answer for you tomorrow. Most of us struggle, our lives are far from perfect. You might want to post this in the threads concerning mental illness. There are people there that may have helpful advice having similar problems. I don't know but I wonder if shock treatment might help with your illness. Dick cavett had it and is open to praising it for changing his life but I think his was in a deep depression. My mother had it and it worked very well. She was able to go off the meds. Please don't lose hope. A breakthrough may be around the corner. I am praying!
Mental Health & Recovery | Christian Forums

 

[InThePottersChamber]

I saw rick warren talking about his son. Try not to compare. You are separate individuals. God may have an answer for you tomorrow. Most of us struggle, our lives are far from perfect. You might want to post this in the threads concerning mental illness. There are people there that may have helpful advice having similar problems. I don't know but I wonder if shock treatment might help with your illness. Dick cavett had it and is open to praising it for changing his life but I think his was in a deep depression. My mother had it and it worked very well. She was able to go off the meds. Please don't lose hope. A breakthrough may be around the corner. I am praying!
Mental Health & Recovery | Christian Forums

Hi, I will post this in the mental health forums, I'm sorry I didn't initially do that, firstly I didn't know that there was such a forum here, (I hardly use this site) and secondly I wanted advice from normal people who maybe have had/ have a loved one or two who struggle too. I feel like in the mental health forum only those suffering from mental illness will look through the posts, and I know that a lot of 'sane' individuals aren't really sane. There's something about mental illness that totally warps the mind and perspective of those having it, even if on meds and not exhibiting symptoms. It took me ten years to be a normal person, and I know some people who are in their thirties and forties who still cannot socialise properly and lack the skills to think logically and realistically. One does not need to be bipolar or schizophrenic to lack these skills, in my experience people with depression, like me, can exhibit similar dysfunctions in their mental/cognitive functions.

I have tried shock treatments, they give me only a few months of respite, and the adverse effect of feeling like my past is not my own or locked behind a door, is not worth it. It also affects my working memory. I'm very very sad. I hope God will have mercy on me.

But really, all of your kind words help a lot, thank you so much

 

[InThePottersChamber]

Nobodies situation is perfect, we all have issues to overcome with God's help. Always remember, God isn't going to put us in situations where His grace can't reach us!

2 Corinthians 12: 7-10 "And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong."

May God bless your endeavors!

Thank you so much, how very kind of you, and the verse you shared spoke to me. God bless your endeavours as well

 

[InThePottersChamber]

Many things can effect depression like diet and nutrition as well as sleep and exercise. A medical doctor may only look through the lens of pharmaceuticals.

There is an over the counter supplement SAMe that is used by prescription in Europe for depression, but may be neglected here because it is not prescipable.

You may wish to experiment with various ways to manage things

I've tried changing my diet, and I take frequent blood tests, my hormones are normal. I can't sleep without the meds, and once I get back to college I will start exercising and dieting. Thank you for your suggestions

 

[InThePottersChamber]

Along with your psychiatrist's care, you should seek out a church that is good with mental illness.

The Church & Mental Illness...

I don't live in the US, but you have a point, I will seek groups if not churches that specialises in catering to mentally ill people like me. Thank you.

 

[Maria Billingsley]

Hi everyone

When I was 17, I got diagnosed with depression along with psychotic features. This means different things depending on a case by case basis, but for me it means that if my depressive episode lasts for too long, I get psychosis, which means I am in a state of delusion (never hallucinated, only got delusions). All throughout my life, I have always envied Christians who could 'feel' God's presence and guidance 24/7, never got depressed like me, had almost perfect discernment, and were leaders and successes in their lives. I knew that if I could sense God and his guidance 24/7 like they did I could be successful too. It's important to add however, that getting success is not my main goal and never was, I just wanted to sense God, to follow his will, of course at first this meant success, but as I matured I truly desired only God. So please don't include "you want success and not god" in your replies.

I never experienced his presence and guidance until recently. I'm 26 this year, and I was prescribe a high dosage of antipsychotics for my terrible depression, because anti depressants wouldn't work. At first, the doctor gave me 400mg of Seroquel, but I felt no different. She eventually upped the dosage to 800mg, and although I was reluctant to take so much (just google the side effects, which range from diabetes, cholesterol and blood sugar problems, to cardiovascular problems) I decided to bite the bullet and try it out for a few weeks. Within the first day I immediately felt a difference. For the first time in my life I felt good, I felt God, I could hear from him. I received dreams, comfort, joy, and all the bad habits (sins) I was struggling with fell away. Not to mention amazing benefits like improved cognitive functions and improved memory. My spiritual mentors recognised the difference, everyone was happy for me. I was happy too, I knew I finally felt how 'normal people' do.

The trouble is, I gained 0.7kg within one week, my muscles felt weak and shrunk, I had pains and tremors in my legs, not to mention my cholesterol and blood sugar scaled the heights. My doctor went back to 400 mg Seroquel, and I don't feel good anymore. My mental illness is returning. The low dosage works to keep away the life threatening symptoms at bay, but I still feel constantly exhausted and my cognitive functioning is as bad as before. I feel so discouraged. It's like I have to choose between a healthy brain or a healthy body. I don't know why God allows me to suffer like this. I have had this illness for nine years, more, only I was diagnosed at 17... I heard that Pastor Rick Warren's son died from suicide, was this how he felt?

Welcome to CF. My prayers are with you.
Blessings.

 

[Sabertooth]

I don't live in the US, but you have a point, I will seek groups if not churches that specialises in catering to mentally ill people like me. Thank you.

(Your profile says USA.)
What country are you in?

 

[returntosender]

Hi, I will post this in the mental health forums, I'm sorry I didn't initially do that, firstly I didn't know that there was such a forum here, (I hardly use this site) and secondly I wanted advice from normal people who maybe have had/ have a loved one or two who struggle too. I feel like in the mental health forum only those suffering from mental illness will look through the posts, and I know that a lot of 'sane' individuals aren't really sane. There's something about mental illness that totally warps the mind and perspective of those having it, even if on meds and not exhibiting symptoms. It took me ten years to be a normal person, and I know some people who are in their thirties and forties who still cannot socialise properly and lack the skills to think logically and realistically. One does not need to be bipolar or schizophrenic to lack these skills, in my experience people with depression, like me, can exhibit similar dysfunctions in their mental/cognitive functions.

I have tried shock treatments, they give me only a few months of respite, and the adverse effect of feeling like my past is not my own or locked behind a door, is not worth it. It also affects my working memory. I'm very very sad. I hope God will have mercy on me.

But really, all of your kind words help a lot, thank you so much

I've seen some of the posts and I was thinking along the lines of when they share their knowledge of new meds and how there fairing. I understand what you said and it makes sense. post with tags that would designate more then one forum.
Bless your heart! I am praying for you. Don't give up. There's an answer out there for you. I'm sure you know how slow God can be in answering. In his good time
You like pastor Rick? Me too.

 

[InThePottersChamber]

I've seen some of the posts and I was thinking along the lines of when they share their knowledge of new meds and how there fairing. I understand what you said and it makes sense. post with tags that would designate more then one forum.
Bless your heart! I am praying for you. Don't give up. There's an answer out there for you. I'm sure you know how slow God can be in answering. In his good time
You like pastor Rick? Me too.

Thank you for your tips! And thank you so much for your prayers, I pray that God will bless you for your kindness to me. Yes, I do realise that God works very slowly. I guess he wants to test us and shape us for His Kingdom. I love Pastor Rick! He is very kind and he has a high EQ, his jokes are always funny! He is very likeable. I listen to other pastors too, like Joseph Prince and David Diga Hernandez, but some people say that they aren't true Christians, and they teach New Age teachings. They focus a lot on how to have visions and 'feel' the Holy Spirit. I like to keep an open mind however so I'm always looking for new pastors to listen too. Pastor Rick will always be my favourite though! It makes me sad that he is retiring. He deserves to rest but I will miss him a lot.

 

[InThePottersChamber]

(Your profile says USA.)
What country are you in?

I was living in the USA before, so that's why my profile says USA. I'd rather not reveal which country I am currently in, sorry! Don't worry, I'm sure I can find resources myself. Thank you for your kind concern.

 

[InThePottersChamber]

Welcome to CF. My prayers are with you.
Blessings.

Thank you, Maria, for the warm welcome and the prayers. May God bless you abundantly.

 

[returntosender]

Thank you for your tips! And thank you so much for your prayers, I pray that God will bless you for your kindness to me. Yes, I do realise that God works very slowly. I guess he wants to test us and shape us for His Kingdom. I love Pastor Rick! He is very kind and he has a high EQ, his jokes are always funny! He is very likeable. I listen to other pastors too, like Joseph Prince and David Diga Hernandez, but some people say that they aren't true Christians, and they teach New Age teachings. They focus a lot on how to have visions and 'feel' the Holy Spirit. I like to keep an open mind however so I'm always looking for new pastors to listen too. Pastor Rick will always be my favourite though! It makes me sad that he is retiring. He deserves to rest but I will miss him a lot.

I didn't realize he was retiring,. He's seems fairly young. I have my favorites also. They are a gift for us.

 

[Sabertooth]

Don't worry, I'm sure I can find resources myself.

Look for churches that have healing ministries.

 

[InThePottersChamber]

Look for churches that have healing ministries.

I will, thank you!

 

[InThePottersChamber]

I didn't realize he was retiring,. He's seems fairly young. I have my favorites also. They are a gift for us.

Pastor Rick is 68! Hardly young anymore...He announced his retirement last year I think, and since then he has found a new pastor for his church, Saddleback Church. I think the new pastor's name is Andy Wood. Pastor Rick still teaches, but not as frequently as in the past.

Good pastors are truly gifts to us. It's so generous of them to put up their sermons on YouTube where anyone can watch them for free.

 

[returntosender]

Pastor Rick is 68! Hardly young anymore...He announced his retirement last year I think, and since then he has found a new pastor for his church, Saddleback Church. I think the new pastor's name is Andy Wood. Pastor Rick still teaches, but not as frequently as in the past.

Good pastors are truly gifts to us. It's so generous of them to put up their sermons on YouTube where anyone can watch them for free.

I watch them on tv. Can't you?
Pastor Rick is on tbn a lot being interviewed by the owners. He also preaches in the morning on TV.