Depression Support

newyorknewyork · Mar 30, 2006

Let's make this a thread where each day (or week.. or whenever).. we can all come on here and share with each other how we are going....

This can be a space for venting feelings, encouraging one another, sharing what we are doing each day, talking about how we are healing and coping, being accountable to each other, relating to each other, sharing what is working 4 each of us, listening, support and anything else!

I am 22. I'm on anti-depressants - Effexor XR. I was abused by my mother verbally, physically and emotionally. My dad took his life. I am healing from the lies I believe about myself because of the abuse from my mother. Obviously I miss my Dad too and grieve that he is gone. Each day I struggle with lies in my head about myself - they don't feel like lies, they feel like the truth because that is what I have been told all my life (by my mother). I struggle when someone is kind to me or compliments me - I get suspicious, I guess I wonder why are they being nice to me? I wonder if they have another motive? It's hard to believe good things about myself. When someone pays me a compliment, it feels like something inside me is rejecting what they are saying. I don't know why. I guess it's because its foreign or something.

I have to fight thoughts that tell me "I must be perfect" or "I am not good enough, because I am not perfect" or "I am worthless and unlovable because I am not perfect". My wonderful husband tells me these are all lies and I have to not believe them. They are maybe from the devil or something. Maybe the devil is using the abuse I experienced to torment me and hurt me.

But I am seeing a psychologist who is doing cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) with me which is awesome! Its really hard work and I have to keep at it, but surprisingly, it really is working!! Ive been given exercises to do where I go back to the past (in my mind) and "visit" a memory.. a sad memory where I am being abused. Then I get the adult me to go and help the younger me (my "inner child"). It really works!! I was told how to do it and I must admit I was skeptical and pessimistic. It sounded all weird and strange and new to me, I wasn't sure how it could possible work??!! But it does!

I've also been told to keep a journal and write in it regularly. I've been told "its ok" that I don't have much energy and motivation some days- because that is all part of the depression illness. I have to learn to accept that.

I wish I was stronger. I wish I was happy all the time. I think I would be more lovable then. Probably sounds crazy. But thats honestly how I feel.

Anyway, enough babbling from me... lol

I'd love to hear from others.. please share about yourself.. what you are going thru.. it would be great to also hear from some people who had depression and got through it..

Mrs. Luther073082 · Mar 30, 2006

I'm 23; I was diagnosed with agoraphobia and depression when I was 17. I started taking antidepressants when I was 19, and a psychiatrist took me off them in January of last year.

Because of the agoraphobia, I spent part of high school on homebound schooling. Until this year, I took all my college courses via distance learning. I had attempted a few courses on campus, but had to withdraw because I kept having absences due to panic attacks.

Last year, I started getting out of the house on a regular basis and feeling better. I have been going to therapy and exercising regularly for a year. This semester, I decided to try one course as an on campus class. So far, I have perfect attendance!

I try to get out at least every other day. I started volunteering, going to church, and going to a Christian group at my school.

I still do not like being alone in certain public places. For example, I don't like shopping in big stores or driving alone in my car.

newyorknewyork · Mar 30, 2006

maycontainnuts said:
I'm 23; I was diagnosed with agoraphobia and depression when I was 17. I started taking antidepressants when I was 19, and a psychiatrist took me off them in January of last year.

Because of the agoraphobia, I spent part of high school on homebound schooling. Until this year, I took all my college courses via distance learning. I had attempted a few courses on campus, but had to withdraw because I kept having absences due to panic attacks.

Last year, I started getting out of the house on a regular basis and feeling better. I have been going to therapy and exercising regularly for a year. This semester, I decided to try one course as an on campus class. So far, I have perfect attendance!

I try to get out at least every other day. I started volunteering, going to church, and going to a Christian group at my school.

I still do not like being alone in certain public places. For example, I don't like shopping in big stores or driving alone in my car.

thank you for sharing

its wonderful to hear that you are moving forward and exercise and therapy and getting out of the house is all helping you - awesome!!

prayers and hugs,

tsuriyel <><

newyorknewyork · Mar 31, 2006

well right now i feel like complete crap

i was feeling really low so i had a bubble bath.. thought that might help..

baths are nice and relaxing and all... but i still feel really really low.. kinda worse in a way.. because all i could do was lay there in the tub and think about everything..

i started knitting the other day.. its a new little hobby thing i have.. i just taught myself.. with the help of a lil book i bought as well.. im doing good.. its fun.. maybe i should go knit some more

the house is a mess

i hate housework

DH works fulltime im part time
so naturally i feel responsible for the house -cleaning etc.

its crap tho coz i hate housework so much
it was always a punishment when i was a kid growing up - you didn anything wrong and you would be given lots of housework to do. thats so wrong im not going to do that to my kids

i feel clucky lately but i dont think i should have kids.
i dont think im ready - not if i feel like this. i dont want to be a bad mother.

i hate feeling like i have to be perfect .
i hate all these voices i get in my head telling me im worthless and ill never be good enough.

maybe i shouldn't have gotten married. its good and all. it just means now i am a wife on top of everything else.

i dont know..whats wrong with me? why do i feel like this?

i feel like i am going crazy????

i hate this feeling!!!!!!!!

i dont feel suicidal.. which is good.

i just feel low... crap.. kinda annoyed.. though i can't pinpoint why..?

i feel confused.. i dont know what to do with my life..

i feel frustrated.. that i have no energy or motivation to do anything..

i wish i could be all by myself then i wouldn't have to worry about pleasing anyone.. i can just be me.. and even if that me is sad and depressed.. its better than feeling sad and depressed and feeling pressured to put on a happy face and pretend you are strong and perfect when you aren't

why do i have all these voices in my head telling me im crap and i must be perfect but im not (who is? no one!)

i dont understand????????????????????????

i tried praying in the bath.. all i could manage was "please help me Jesus" .. God must be real happy about that.. not! I feel bad for not spending more time with God but I feel so far from him right now and I feel so depressed and confused and hurt.. We haven't been to church in about 2 months.. if we don't go this week I think i will die. Not literally. Just spiritually. i feel so empty and drained. I have no fellowship. I hate it.

I need friendship and fellowship but we aren't going to church. we found a good church and started going 4 a while, but its lik 40mins drive each way.. which is ages!

i wish i could go on a holiday..

why can't i feel good all the time like i do when i drink alcohol? like i have a few drinks and it makes me really happy.. i dont know why.. but its an awesome feeling.

i have to go now

ohhhhhh i fee l so crap help

Sonador · Mar 31, 2006

tsuriyel said:
Let's make this a thread where each day (or week.. or whenever).. we can all come on here and share with each other how we are going....

This can be a space for venting feelings, encouraging one another, sharing what we are doing each day, talking about how we are healing and coping, being accountable to each other, relating to each other, sharing what is working 4 each of us, listening, support and anything else!

I am 22. I'm on anti-depressants - Effexor XR. I was abused by my mother verbally, physically and emotionally. My dad took his life. I am healing from the lies I believe about myself because of the abuse from my mother. Obviously I miss my Dad too and grieve that he is gone. Each day I struggle with lies in my head about myself - they don't feel like lies, they feel like the truth because that is what I have been told all my life (by my mother). I struggle when someone is kind to me or compliments me - I get suspicious, I guess I wonder why are they being nice to me? I wonder if they have another motive? It's hard to believe good things about myself. When someone pays me a compliment, it feels like something inside me is rejecting what they are saying. I don't know why. I guess it's because its foreign or something.

I have to fight thoughts that tell me "I must be perfect" or "I am not good enough, because I am not perfect" or "I am worthless and unlovable because I am not perfect". My wonderful husband tells me these are all lies and I have to not believe them. They are maybe from the devil or something. Maybe the devil is using the abuse I experienced to torment me and hurt me.

But I am seeing a psychologist who is doing cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) with me which is awesome! Its really hard work and I have to keep at it, but surprisingly, it really is working!! Ive been given exercises to do where I go back to the past (in my mind) and "visit" a memory.. a sad memory where I am being abused. Then I get the adult me to go and help the younger me (my "inner child"). It really works!! I was told how to do it and I must admit I was skeptical and pessimistic. It sounded all weird and strange and new to me, I wasn't sure how it could possible work??!! But it does!

I've also been told to keep a journal and write in it regularly. I've been told "its ok" that I don't have much energy and motivation some days- because that is all part of the depression illness. I have to learn to accept that.

I wish I was stronger. I wish I was happy all the time. I think I would be more lovable then. Probably sounds crazy. But thats honestly how I feel.

Anyway, enough babbling from me... lol

I'd love to hear from others.. please share about yourself.. what you are going thru.. it would be great to also hear from some people who had depression and got through it..

I have some of these same struggles everyday too.
My dad has always verbally and emotionally abused me, never physically though. I saw him physically abuse my mother and saw what it did to her and I'm terrified of him hurting me the way he hurt her. My father has always been a heavy drinker and that definitely contributed to the abuse and added to the yelling he usually did so much of. So, naturally, I've always been scared of my dad and a lot of other men.
My step dad passed away just this last August from a long battle of cancer . Both, my mother and I, are suffering from depression. I was very close to my step dad and this is an area where my dad chooses to abuse me verbally. He gives me a hard time when I'm not up for doing things because I'm sad or because I'm tired. He is consistently giving me a guilt trip about my grief. My step mom also abuses me verbally. She used to give me a hard time about my looks and how my body was/is shaped... you know, things like that. She treats me like I'm not good enough to be treated as a daughter.
I struggle when someone compliments me or is kind to me (the same thing you were describing). I wonder if what they say is a lie or if they have other motives and why they're being nice to me. When someone is kind to me, inside I completely reject what they are saying because I guess it's hard to believe good things about myself. I probably sound like a dork... lol
I fight bad thoughts about myself, thinking I always have to be "perfect" or that I'm not good enough for something or someone. A lot of the things you seem to struggle with I have been struggling with too. It seems everyone has their share of daily struggles, it's nice to have someone to share them with and to talk to.
I hate the way I feel all the time. I'd love to be a happier, more smilie person and I wish I was stronger than I am. I'm trying to get out of the house more and I'm trying very hard to give all of my problems and worries to the Lord.
But enough about me, how are all of you ? Everyone is sooo nice on this site, it's amazing how they just accept you for face value without even knowing anything about you. It's great.
I hope all of you are doing well, coping with your daily struggles and growing in your relationship with the Lord.

Many blessings,
Sonador

Sonador · Mar 31, 2006

tsuriyel said:
well right now i feel like complete crap

i was feeling really low so i had a bubble bath.. thought that might help..

baths are nice and relaxing and all... but i still feel really really low.. kinda worse in a way.. because all i could do was lay there in the tub and think about everything..

i started knitting the other day.. its a new little hobby thing i have.. i just taught myself.. with the help of a lil book i bought as well.. im doing good.. its fun.. maybe i should go knit some more

the house is a mess

i hate housework

DH works fulltime im part time
so naturally i feel responsible for the house -cleaning etc.

its crap tho coz i hate housework so much
it was always a punishment when i was a kid growing up - you didn anything wrong and you would be given lots of housework to do. thats so wrong im not going to do that to my kids

i feel clucky lately but i dont think i should have kids.
i dont think im ready - not if i feel like this. i dont want to be a bad mother.

i hate feeling like i have to be perfect .
i hate all these voices i get in my head telling me im worthless and ill never be good enough.

maybe i shouldn't have gotten married. its good and all. it just means now i am a wife on top of everything else.

i dont know..whats wrong with me? why do i feel like this?

i feel like i am going crazy????

i hate this feeling!!!!!!!!

i dont feel suicidal.. which is good.

i just feel low... crap.. kinda annoyed.. though i can't pinpoint why..?

i feel confused.. i dont know what to do with my life..

i feel frustrated.. that i have no energy or motivation to do anything..

i wish i could be all by myself then i wouldn't have to worry about pleasing anyone.. i can just be me.. and even if that me is sad and depressed.. its better than feeling sad and depressed and feeling pressured to put on a happy face and pretend you are strong and perfect when you aren't

why do i have all these voices in my head telling me im crap and i must be perfect but im not (who is? no one!)

i dont understand????????????????????????

i tried praying in the bath.. all i could manage was "please help me Jesus" .. God must be real happy about that.. not! I feel bad for not spending more time with God but I feel so far from him right now and I feel so depressed and confused and hurt..We haven't been to church in about 2 months.. if we don't go this week I think i will die. Not literally. Just spiritually. i feel so empty and drained. I have no fellowship. I hate it.

I need friendship and fellowship but we aren't going to church. we found a good church and started going 4 a while, but its lik 40mins drive each way.. which is ages!

i wish i could go on a holiday..

why can't i feel good all the time like i do when i drink alcohol? like i have a few drinks and it makes me really happy.. i dont know why.. but its an awesome feeling.

i have to go now

ohhhhhh i fee l so crap help

Aww. You certainly don't have to be perfect and nobody seems to expect you to be either. Certainly not God, because all of us are far from perfect, and your husband seems to love you for who you are and doesn't expect you to be perfect either. So why paint on a fake smile?? Be who you are, don't worry about what others think. Pffft, I should talk. I do the same thing. lol
Maybe you shouldn't have gotten married?? Aw, but you love him, right? And he loves you!
You feel clucky?? Well, whatever that is, I doubt you're it. You would make a wonderful mother someday, if you decide to become one.
I'm sorry you feel like crap today. You're a wonderful child of the Lord, and He loves you no matter what you think you are or aren't!
*hugs* Chin up, girly! I'll pray for ya.

Many blessings,
Sonador

newyorknewyork · Mar 31, 2006

Sonador said:
I have some of these same struggles everyday too.
My dad has always verbally and emotionally abused me, never physically though. I saw him physically abuse my mother and saw what it did to her and I'm terrified of him hurting me the way he hurt her. My father has always been a heavy drinker and that definitely contributed to the abuse and added to the yelling he usually did so much of. So, naturally, I've always been scared of my dad and a lot of other men.
My step dad passed away just this last August from a long battle of cancer . Both, my mother and I, are suffering from depression. I was very close to my step dad and this is an area where my dad chooses to abuse me verbally. He gives me a hard time when I'm not up for doing things because I'm sad or because I'm tired. He is consistently giving me a guilt trip about my grief. My step mom also abuses me verbally. She used to give me a hard time about my looks and how my body was/is shaped... you know, things like that. She treats me like I'm not good enough to be treated as a daughter.
I struggle when someone compliments me or is kind to me (the same thing you were describing). I wonder if what they say is a lie or if they have other motives and why they're being nice to me. When someone is kind to me, inside I completely reject what they are saying because I guess it's hard to believe good things about myself. I probably sound like a dork... lol
I fight bad thoughts about myself, thinking I always have to be "perfect" or that I'm not good enough for something or someone. A lot of the things you seem to struggle with I have been struggling with too. It seems everyone has their share of daily struggles, it's nice to have someone to share them with and to talk to.
I hate the way I feel all the time. I'd love to be a happier, more smilie person and I wish I was stronger than I am. I'm trying to get out of the house more and I'm trying very hard to give all of my problems and worries to the Lord.
But enough about me, how are all of you ? Everyone is sooo nice on this site, it's amazing how they just accept you for face value without even knowing anything about you. It's great.
I hope all of you are doing well, coping with your daily struggles and growing in your relationship with the Lord.

Many blessings,
Sonador

Sonador, thanks so much 4 sharing.. what you wrote
is such a blessing to me (and Im sure to others as well) because I can relate to you so much!!

Its amazing (and really really sad) how many people have been abused in some form.

Its also interesting how many different forms of abuse there are. I never knew there was such a thing as emotional abuse (until I moved out from my parents house!)

I'm so sorry to hear that your step dad died of cancer How are you dealing with the grief? I found in dealing with my dad's death that there are many different stages of grief and all sort of different feelings you experience! (Well thats what happened to me, anyways.)

no you are not a dork! you are completely normal!! i feel the same as you!! its hard to believe ppl wen they compliment me also!

You are young also. I hope you have a better day tomorrow. Take care and drop back in here..so we can all chat.

newyorknewyork · Mar 31, 2006

Sonador said:
Aww. You certainly don't have to be perfect and nobody seems to expect you to be either. Certainly not God, because all of us are far from perfect, and your husband seems to love you for who you are and doesn't expect you to be perfect either. So why paint on a fake smile?? Be who you are, don't worry about what others think. Pffft, I should talk. I do the same thing. lol
Maybe you shouldn't have gotten married?? Aw, but you love him, right? And he loves you!
You feel clucky?? Well, whatever that is, I doubt you're it. You would make a wonderful mother someday, if you decide to become one.
I'm sorry you feel like crap today. You're a wonderful child of the Lord, and He loves you no matter what you think you are or aren't!
*hugs* Chin up, girly! I'll pray for ya.

Many blessings,
Sonador

thank you soo much Sonador! You are so encouraging! Thank you for what you wrote, it was awesome

You're right! I don't have to be perfect! Nor do you or anyone else! Sometimes I just need to be reminded (or kicked up the bum as they say) LOL!

No I didn't really mean it when I said I shouldn't have gotten married.. he is amazing and i love him to bits and he treats me like a princess (and calls me his princess too!) .. i just worry a lot.. like i hope Im a good enough wife and stuff. thats all.

lol! Clucky is feeling like I want to have a baby. Longing to be pregnant and have a child. Thanks so much 4 saying ill be a good mum! my hubby says that too I just worry.. like coz i was treated so bad by my mother i dont want to EVER EVER EVER harm my kids in any way whatsoever! but maybe thats all the more reason to have kids later. because im not perfect and this world it pretty crazy.. so i guess sooner or later our kids (when we do have kids) are going to get hurt in some form.

anyways..

newyorknewyork · Mar 31, 2006

i just went to our christian bookstore nearby and i bought this book... im so excited about it.. i just had to share it..

http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/1590523318/ref=sib_dp_pt/102-2983945-9481766#reader-link

Book Description
This beautiful four-color book opens the eyes of women to see themselves the way God sees them. Many don't even know that they are daughters of the King - chosen to be His Princess. Somewhere between childhood and adulthood, they trade in their fairy-tale dreams of being cherished for a tarnished identity fashioned by their own insecurities and the mixed-up messages of the media. Now, these tenderly adoring letters written from God's persepective demonstrate that every woman is beautiful just the way she is. Walking in confidence toward her God-given purpose, every woman can bless others - even future generations.

its awesome! i think its going to help me in building my self confidence

the whole book has all these different topics and the whole book is letters! from Jesus to you! thats how its written!

and its very biblical which i love.. so i can imagine Jesus really saying these things to me.

go check it out!

love to all my friends who are also suffering from depression

http://store.hisprincess.com/ProductInfo.aspx?productid=B-HPLL-331-8

Restoredsoul · Mar 31, 2006

Hi,
I've suffered from depression for three years now. This is due to falling a victim to domestic violence, being raped and many other thing that i went through during my time at university.

i felt so low and was on pills, then i stopped, then back on then i started self harming and i was a wreck a real mess honestly - just crying all the time ,no motivation no nothing.

For the last year God has done amazing things in my life he has helped me to realise that i am his princess, i am loved by him in spite of who i am - he loves me now - he loves me when i'm a mess.

All through this time my fiance stood by me - he could have so easily walked away but he didn't - we get married at the end of may.

It's ok to be low, it doesn't make you a bad christian - never let anyone tell you that.

I have come so far but it's been hard work - i have to work on changing my mind set and not believing the lies that Satan sometimes fills my head with.

I pray that you will all feel the arms of God holding you and know that his love and power in your lives.

Hugs
RS xx

Soulwings · Mar 31, 2006

Hello.
My name is April. Ive been depressed for really as long as I can remember. In the past year or two Ive gotten really down; Im a cutter (self injurer) and I struggle with an eating disorder as well. My whole family (both sides) have a history of mental illness (depression, schizophrenia, OCD), so I have kind of a support network, but it took me awhile to find it. Im in counseling right now (CBT, mentioned above), Im on meds (Lexapro, Risperdal, and Lamactil), and I was hospitalised last fall for a week due to severe self injury (and on a "suicide watch").

Things lately have been going a little better. Like Tsuriyel, I fight lies in my head all the time (constantly arguing in there, it gets so NOISY sometimes), but I dont really know where they come from. Its hard but Im making it alright, I guess. Im in uni (sophomore), majoring in biology and contemplating a double major in philosophy, and that too is difficult at times, simply because I have no motivation or energy to do the work or to study.

Hope to get to know you all. If you ever need anyone to talk to or to pray with, Im here, always available. xxx

newyorknewyork · Mar 31, 2006

Restoredsoul said:
Hi,
I've suffered from depression for three years now. This is due to falling a victim to domestic violence, being raped and many other thing that i went through during my time at university.

i felt so low and was on pills, then i stopped, then back on then i started self harming and i was a wreck a real mess honestly - just crying all the time ,no motivation no nothing.

For the last year God has done amazing things in my life he has helped me to realise that i am his princess, i am loved by him in spite of who i am - he loves me now - he loves me when i'm a mess.

All through this time my fiance stood by me - he could have so easily walked away but he didn't - we get married at the end of may.

It's ok to be low, it doesn't make you a bad christian - never let anyone tell you that.

I have come so far but it's been hard work - i have to work on changing my mind set and not believing the lies that Satan sometimes fills my head with.

I pray that you will all feel the arms of God holding you and know that his love and power in your lives.

Hugs
RS xx

hi restoredsoul,
thanks so much 4 sharing your story.

wow its amazing how many of us there are out there - people suffering from depression and people who have been abused and had all sorts of bad things happen to them they have been totally out of their control.

I am so glad I am not alone.

I'm so sorry to hear you have been experienced domestic violence and rape. That is so sad. You poor thing. My parents used to fight all the time. Brooms and frying pans and tennis raquets and other things would get thrown poeple got very hurt - including my siblings and I. So I understand to a degree.

Wow its soo awesome to hear that God is healing you and doing amazing things in your life - teaching you about your TRUE worth and value and taking away the lies that satan places in our minds.

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding and marriage!! How exciting! I'm the same. All through my father's suicide and my family abandoning me and all falling apart, my fiancee stood by me the whole time. He was my tower of strength and loved me to bits in spite of everything that was happening! I am so glad you have such a wonderful fiancee to support you and be your best friend thru it all.

I love that you said its OK to be low - its doesn't make you a bad christian or a bad person! WOW! I SO need to hear that! thank you! That is one lie I am fighting on a daily basis!

Thanks again 4 sharing your story and encouraging us all... I hope you continue to heal and grow in God's grace and please do stop back here...

hugs and prayers,
tsuriyel <><

newyorknewyork · Mar 31, 2006

Soulwings said:
Hello.
My name is April. Ive been depressed for really as long as I can remember. In the past year or two Ive gotten really down; Im a cutter (self injurer) and I struggle with an eating disorder as well. My whole family (both sides) have a history of mental illness (depression, schizophrenia, OCD), so I have kind of a support network, but it took me awhile to find it. Im in counseling right now (CBT, mentioned above), Im on meds (Lexapro, Risperdal, and Lamactil), and I was hospitalised last fall for a week due to severe self injury (and on a "suicide watch").

Things lately have been going a little better. Like Tsuriyel, I fight lies in my head all the time (constantly arguing in there, it gets so NOISY sometimes), but I dont really know where they come from. Its hard but Im making it alright, I guess. Im in uni (sophomore), majoring in biology and contemplating a double major in philosophy, and that too is difficult at times, simply because I have no motivation or energy to do the work or to study.

Hope to get to know you all. If you ever need anyone to talk to or to pray with, Im here, always available. xxx

dear April, thank you for sharing your story. Its great to meet you!
Again, its great to know I am not alone!! I'm glad I am not the only one struggling with depression!

How are you finding the cognitive behavioural therapy you said you are doing? I have just started this recently. I am finding it difficult to do the mental exercises, but once I push myself to do them, they always seem to work!! Are they helping you?

WOW! philosophy! my husband studied that!

take care April and do stop back here again.. it will be great to chat with you...

hugs, tsuriyel <><

I found these websites last night. I hope they are of some help to some people on here.

http://www.self-injury.org/

http://suicide.com/ - this website is a self-help website, it is NOT promoting suicide.

newyorknewyork · Apr 1, 2006

right now i feel crap

so scared

so confused and overwhelmed

starting to feel a bit numb...

i dont feel suicidal (thanks God) - but I feel like crap none the less...

i feel like my life is in a mess... I feel there are not many options for me.. to get help.. and improve the situation I am in.. i don't know how i am going to get thru this.. but with Jesus, hopefully I can...

I just wish that this world was less painful... everything seems to cause pain sooner or later...

I don't know what to do..

im so hurt.. why wont the pain go away???

i feel glad that at least i am not suicidal right now

Sorry .. this is all over the place... just my randon thoughts as they are coming out on the page.. I know its all over the place ... sorry

please pray 4 me..

Eryk · Apr 1, 2006

Isuriel, be sure that there are people praying for you today. We know what it feels like when the pain hits and it feels like it hurts to be alive. I am sorry to hear about your anguish in trying to figure out whether to speak or be quiet. Don't feel like you have to figure out a way to make your interactions perfect. Just know that God loves you, know that your suffering savior understands. There's a very loving way to relate to people that flows from that.

I know you know this--I'm not here to teach, just remind.

When it's my turn to get clobbered by depression , and I come in here, ya'll remind me of what I'm saying, OK?

newyorknewyork · Apr 1, 2006

Coffee said:
Isuriel, be sure that there are people praying for you today. We know what it feels like when the pain hits and it feels like it hurts to be alive. I am sorry to hear about your anguish in trying to figure out whether to speak or be quiet. Don't feel like you have to figure out a way to make your interactions perfect. Just know that God loves you, know that your suffering savior understands. There's a very loving way to relate to people that flows from that.

I know you know this--I'm not here to teach, just remind.

When it's my turn to get clobbered by depression , and I come in here, ya'll remind me of what I'm saying, OK?

thanks coffee

Soulwings · Apr 1, 2006

Im not doing too well at the moment either. Life feels so pointless. And the ED thoughts are coming back with a vengeance because Ive ate a bit today ... I feel so fat, and with that comes feelings of self hate and depression and utter worthlessness.

newyorknewyork · Apr 1, 2006

Soulwings said:
Im not doing too well at the moment either. Life feels so pointless. And the ED thoughts are coming back with a vengeance because Ive ate a bit today ... I feel so fat, and with that comes feelings of self hate and depression and utter worthlessness.

hi soulwings,

you AREN'T fat or worthless! You are a Princess of the King of Kings! I think its awesome that you've eaten some today because God made food - we need to eat to be healthy and alive.

I'm sorry you feel that life is pointless. I am getting the EXACT same thoughts today myself!!!!!!

Take care and stop back in here so we can all support you and encourage you... lots of hugs and prayers, tsuriyel

Soulwings · Apr 2, 2006

Tsuriyel.

At the same time, I know that life isnt pointless.
As long as we can help someone else, we have worth, and we are living for a reason. And youve just helped me, thank you for your kind reply.

newyorknewyork · Apr 2, 2006

Soulwings said:
Tsuriyel.

At the same time, I know that life isnt pointless.
As long as we can help someone else, we have worth, and we are living for a reason. And youve just helped me, thank you for your kind reply.

yr so very welcome you are an awesome Princess of the King of Kings. Don't forget that. Your worth doesn't come from your dress size or what you eat or who are your friends or if you have no friends (sometimes how i feel).. we have to keep reminding ourselves of these truths..

you are awesome!!!

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