Up through my mid-teenage years, I was pretty much constantly depressed, to the point where I was hospitalised for it. Following a good deal of therapy and a change in personal circumstances, my past 5 years have been, if not depression-free, bearable and really quite happy much of the time. However, due to some recent happenings in my life that are putting me under a great deal of stress, the depression seems to be returning, and it's really rather annoying. My mood is low, my motivation for pretty much everything is gone, and my mental images are morbid. It's pretty clearly situational, and hopefully will pass in time, but I can't help feeling like this is my fault; I'm not coping as well as I should, I've giving in, I should just be able to handle it like I've done the past 5 years, blah blah blah. Feeling like I'm at fault for my feelings is rather new... I suppose previously I just accepted all the negative feelings about myself as true rather than recognizing them as caused by the depression. In that way, this is a step up, but I'm at something of a loss as to how to handle this. Any suggestions?
I refuse to go see a professional, btw, unless it gets quite serious. I don't trust them.
I refuse to go see a professional, btw, unless it gets quite serious. I don't trust them.
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