Depression or a phase? Seeking God..

[pvalencia6]

Hello guys! My name is Pablo.
I'm very new to this "forum" life ,but there's a reason I'm here...

I'm an 18 year old male fresh out of high school. At this point in life, most of us would be going off to college and starting our new adult lives. Well for me, I'm such in a hole of depression and anxiety that's really hurting me mentally, physically, and emotionally.

A few months ago, I had the most happiness I've had in my life. I had the perfect girlfriend, I was doing well academically and athletically, and I had my dream college in my sight. Well that changed for worse after graduated high school.

My girlfriend (at the time) and I ended our relationship for good reasons. She was the perfect girl in my eyes. She was intelligent, beautiful, outgoing, and was strong in the Christian faith. An ideal person that I could see marrying in the future. My intentions didn't correspond with her regarding to our future after high school. So we came down to a mutual agreement on ending our relationship and moving with our lives. Deep down inside, it really hurt me and just put me into a really bad depression. That depression sent me into the wrong path. I made the stupid decision to talk to ex again and ended up having unprotected sex with her. At the moment, I thought it was a good way to get rid of the pain and get over my break up. Ever since then I've been paranoid about STD's and HIV because she's been seeing someone at the time. I messed me up in my head. I had a fear about getting a disease running my life. I didn't know where to go and who to talk to. The only person I could run to is God. I spent countless hours at night trying to repent and ask for God's forgiveness. I had a fear that God was going to punish me for my sin. It has put me in a really bad depression. I don't who I am anymore because I don't believe the person who went back to his ex wasn't me. What gets me the most is that I doubt a lot about God one day and the next day I fully believe in him. I really need spiritual guidance because I'm suffering so bad in my head.

I just need a second view on this situation. I had various people tell me to consult the bible for help. I don't know why I believe there's something more than the bible because humans wrote it. I want to be connect to God one on one.

I don't know where to go... Help...

 

[--CTR--]

We all suffer with depression one way or another, its one of Satan's tricks to get us down and away from our potentials. You're 18 which is still young, you're still going through changes with your body... You're going to have a lot of mood swings, I know I did when I was your age, and I still do every now and then.

Do you have someone high up in your Church that you'll be able to seek guidance from? God never punishes us for Sinning, we only ever punish ourselves by not following His Commanded Laws set out to protect us, His Children.

Here's a video that you might like, there's a few similarities in it that you might be able to relate to. I'm new to these Forums so I'm not sure if it's allowed to be posted, but I guess I'll find out if I can or not by doing it.

Believing in God is not just about reading the Bible, you're young, and that's great. Your Testimony is something that builds up with you throughout your entire life. You're here, so that tells me that you have Internet, if you find scriptures hard to understand, use the internet to find your answers. Always remember to pray though, speak to Him man! He loves you and he wants to hear from you, tell Him how you're feeling and what help it is you want and need, ask Him to help you find the light, just never turn your back, because I promise you, He'll never turn His. You'll only ever not feel His presence when you disobey and ignore his Council. You have to be on His side Brother! You have to try each day even when you're not feeling it, to talk to Him and let Him help you.

 

[RC1970]

Pablo,

Ask God to send His Spirit to you.

"Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." ~ Romans 8:26-28

And know there is nothing you can do to earn His love or lose His love.

"For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." ~ Romans 8:38-39

"And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him." ~ Hebrew 11:6

 

[dgiharris]

We all make mistakes, and our lives are going to be filled with highs and lows. It is all part of becoming a man and growing up.

Regarding temptation and premarital sex. Yes, it is wrong, but if you are ever going to slip, make sure next time you use protection. Also, for piece of mind, many Planned Parenthood and other types of orgs will offer free STD testing. This is not an endorsement for premarital sex, just precautions and options you should be aware of.

MOving forward, try not to dwell on the past and past mistakes.

Man, you are 18. EIGHTEEN!!!! That is a great time to be alive. You've got your entire life ahead of you. I was lucky when I was 18. You see, most 18 yr-olds shrug off advice from older people nor do they appreciate what older people have to say. But when I was 18, I listened and I embraced it. When older people told me "Man you have your whole life ahead of you..." or "18 is a great age..." I believed them, I embraced it. I lived each day to the utmost and I APPRECIATED being young.

Not to say I didn't have my down days. Sure, sometimes life sucks. But I was very quick to "move on". I would tell myself, "Okay, I'm going to give myself 48 hours worth of moping and woe-is-me time, and after that 48 hours I'm done and moving on."

When I had break ups, I typically spent one to two days reliving all of our moments, embracing them, thinking about them, cherishing them, and then after that 48 hours period, no more. Time to move on. Usually, I either burnt the pictures or packed them away in a box never to be opened again and I moved on.

I also focused on myself. Idle hands are the devil's playground. So it is always best to be involved in "something". Doesn't even really matter what. Take up a hobby, spend more time with friends and family. Learn a language, read a book, write a book, put together a youtube show, learn an instrument, join a band, join a writer's group, build a model rocket, go fishing with friends...

Lastly, we all fall from time to time. It happens. But lucky for us God forgives

So don't feel so bad, it's all part of life.

Good luck...