depression and self absorption / concern

[dms1972]

I have struggled with depression for several years and i am starting to wonder how to break out of the circle of self absorption, or self focus that accompanies it for me.

Typically my thoughts revolve round myself a lot of the day, with worries about my spiritual state, about whether I am 'saved' etc, and also wander over the past a lot, with a lot of ideations about things that others don't believe happened, or was 'in my thinking'.

I got to thinking that constant worrying about my salvation may be self defeating, as it is self concern and that I need to be more outward focused. Its the same with faith, if I question if i have faith, and turn to examine it I will only destroy it. But how can i know i am not deceiving myself, in that regard?

 

[Long Island Pilgrim]

Hi Dms,

I think it's a very good sign that you are aware of the pitfalls of being overly self focused. Most people are not at all aware as to how detrimental that can be. One way which helps me to break out of it is to try to respond to people on forums like this one. It really does help to take the focus off ones self.
Sometimes just watching testimonies of saved people on youtube can be very helpful in providing insight into other peoples experience with their own personal salvation and you can also respond and ask questions in the comments.

Perhaps this link will provide something that may help?
Battling Spiritual Depression: A Letter to a Friend

Hope this helps.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

are you currently attending church? if so, are there any ways to participate in outreach or something in the way of serving? serving others is helpful in getting our mind off ourselves.

having someone to talk to is also good.

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

Typically my thoughts revolve round myself a lot of the day,

Those depressed don't have a monopoly on selfishness and self-absorption. I wouldn't beat myself up over this. You are at least aware of it.

 

[Jeshu]

I have struggled with depression for several years and i am starting to wonder how to break out of the circle of self absorption, or self focus that accompanies it for me.

Typically my thoughts revolve round myself a lot of the day, with worries about my spiritual state, about whether I am 'saved' etc, and also wander over the past a lot, with a lot of ideations about things that others don't believe happened, or was 'in my thinking'.

I got to thinking that constant worrying about my salvation may be self defeating, as it is self concern and that I need to be more outward focused. Its the same with faith, if I question if i have faith, and turn to examine it I will only destroy it. But how can i know i am not deceiving myself, in that regard?

Dear brother this is the curse that flows from depression, a catch 22 to be, for the more we look at our own misery the more miserable we often become!!!

I've got a depressive illness, and after 7 years of solid depression without a break I was very much in the same place as you are today, as a matter of fact I wailed my life, hated it and actively planned to kill myself for I had much more than my fill of misery.

Jesus came to my rescue!

He gave me the clue to beat my depressive illness and to be able to suffer depression without hating my life and wanting to kill myself because of the great misery pressing down on me all day long.

Love God with all your heart and love your neighbour as yourself is the command He used to convict me of my folly heeding and agreeing with depression when my depressive thoughts often had me accuse God, doubt God, despair God, distrust God, disbelief God, and even hate God, so in every way such thinking and feeling broke the first commandment and yet I often knew I had been, was and would likely feel and hear thoughts like that all my life if I kept on breaking the first commandmend.

The second which is like unto the first in severity I didn't love myself but hated myself and not only myself but a lot of people in the world around me.

Oh brother this is where I brought in most of my misery - hating myself and being angry with God, myself and others because of my condition, utterly self absorbed to be doing things wrong.

Jesus told me that God loves us even while we are still sinners and I realized I didn't love myself and I didn't love sinners and worst of all I didn't love God and in this way broke all the commandments of our God every day all day long no matter how much faith I had in Jesus and the bible as God's Word, I wasn't putting it in to action.

So I began to tell God about all those horrible loveless lies dwelling inside of my heart. Against Him, myself and my neighbour and repented of each and everyone of them until Jesus put love in that place in my heart instead of loveless thoughts and feelings ruling me there.

An epic battle brother!!! To love myself without being selfish but to wish all the blessings God had bestowed on me on everyone, no matter who there are or what they might have done or do. To learn to love unconditionally.

Soon I began to pray fro others more than myself for I realised that the more I prayed fro others and loved them and sought their good the quicker my negative thoughts and feelings would leave me. Not that I was loveless towards myself, no way - very much the opposite. Jesus taught me that we ought to take good care of those who are ill and hurting. Jesus is gentle and kind and compassionate, all the skills I had kept away heeding loveless thoughts and feelings Jesus brought back alive with in me. A whole army of good thoughts and feelings grew were my depressive mind had once ruled me.

Today I still battle depression but honest brother so very different now. The more depression hurts the more God's rest and peace rule and take care of me during such difficult times. As a matter of fact my worst times are now among my very best - all because the love of Jesus dwells in me where once the lies of depression ruled me from.

No matter how bad depression gets, I' m able to pray for others hurting life so much worse than me. I can do that sincerely and honestly without having to do good works. I don't heed my conscience - I only heed the living word of God teaching me to walk in His ways.

And so being totally self absorbed can also turn into e blessing, a blessing which open your eyes to the suffering in others and how bad it is to hurt, especially without God in our lives. No please go and visit the poor countries of this world if it was only through the Internet. See the dying, the torn, the raped, the oppressed, the poor, the rejected, the slaves, the fooled, the imprisoned, honest brother such incredible suffering on this planet because humanity refuses to heed God and keeps listening to those lies in their hearts and minds and not the truth of God and people keep treating other people badly because they are loveless and uncaring serving lies instead of God's loving truth.

So this is what gets me through day by day brother a depressed person and that is God's loving truth which has grown inside of my heart and mind because I believed Him and sought after Him to dwell in me instead of those loveless lies hurting. So each time you mediate on God's love in your life have 1 Corinthians 13 and Isaiah 53 open in front of you and let HIM speak within and heed only Him for His loving truth will certainly set you free from being self absorbed in a bad way.

Have a look below in my poem what Jesus can do to the self absorbed brother - even in that part of our lives we can bear the best of fruits! So please don't exclude anything you find within your inner world not even that selfish egocentric loveless (or rather love grabbing,) self wanting to be first all the time. Please put yourself there at the end of the line, and in your God and neighbour loving self put yourself right up front right beside Christ, and the rest of yourself and everyone else as well in between those two battlers. That is the right battle formation.

Be of good courage brother.


My Twelve Love Dimensions.
I love You for being my Lord Jesus.
I love You for Your Presence in me.
I love You for dying for my life in You.
I love You for protecting me with Your (S)Word.
I love You for your grace and your love.
I love You for saving me from the lies.
I love You for deliverance from evil.
I love You for being true and faithful.
I love You for being visible and near.
I love You for bringing me ability to survive.
I love You for molding me anew out of my dirt.
I love You for loving You my dear Lord!

 

[dms1972]

are you currently attending church? if so, are there any ways to participate in outreach or something in the way of serving? serving others is helpful in getting our mind off ourselves.

having someone to talk to is also good.

I had started going again, but wasn't there this week. I feel a lot like i am merely going through the motions, but I can't see any other way, some years ago after drifting I thought I can't really engage in godless life, but neither do I feel any desire for God, or need of Him. I began to just go to a church, pretty much against the grain, and without belief. I kept that up more or less for seven or eight years, was involved in activities but without any interest, my 'heart' is not really in it. That's the way I feel currently, though I enjoy at times some of the hymns if they are familiar to me.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

I had started going again, but wasn't there this week. I feel a lot like i am merely going through the motions, but I can't see any other way, some years ago after drifting I thought I can't really engage in godless life, but neither do I feel any desire for God, or need of Him. I began to just go to a church, pretty much against the grain, and without belief. I kept that up more or less for seven or eight years, was involved in activities but without any interest, my 'heart' is not really in it. That's the way I feel currently, though I enjoy at times some of the hymns if they are familiar to me.

what activities were you involved in?

 

[byhisgrace7]

I have struggled with depression for several years and i am starting to wonder how to break out of the circle of self absorption, or self focus that accompanies it for me.

Typically my thoughts revolve round myself a lot of the day, with worries about my spiritual state, about whether I am 'saved' etc, and also wander over the past a lot, with a lot of ideations about things that others don't believe happened, or was 'in my thinking'.

I got to thinking that constant worrying about my salvation may be self defeating, as it is self concern and that I need to be more outward focused. Its the same with faith, if I question if i have faith, and turn to examine it I will only destroy it. But how can i know i am not deceiving myself, in that regard?

I too have had troubles with self-consciousness and depression. If you ever need to someone to talk to, please feel free to message me. As far as church, I quit going due to feeling like I didn't fit in. I helped out in different ministries too but that really didn't help. Just know, you are not alone.

 

[Greg J.]

I had started going again, but wasn't there this week. I feel a lot like i am merely going through the motions, but I can't see any other way, some years ago after drifting I thought I can't really engage in godless life, but neither do I feel any desire for God, or need of Him. I began to just go to a church, pretty much against the grain, and without belief. I kept that up more or less for seven or eight years, was involved in activities but without any interest, my 'heart' is not really in it. That's the way I feel currently, though I enjoy at times some of the hymns if they are familiar to me.

Everything you have said you are experiencing, including in the original post, are symptoms of clinical depression. Are you on any medication and have you been (or are you) in therapy?

God uses our suffering to draw us closer to him. But the suffering is the result of sin which God works against. Sometimes the path to peace isn't best handled only spiritually, such as when you have a broken leg and are bleeding. Chemical imbalance in the brain only happens when a person has a tangible, physical problem (usually presumed to be in the brain).

 

[dms1972]

Thanks for replies.

Yes I take a medication, and have been for christian and secular counselling. I am not in agreeance with every psychological theory and approach however, so that makes it a bit difficult, I prefer to know what way a counsellor is coming at things, and to check that out. I think some approaches would not be compatible with me.

 

[Larniavc]

I have struggled with depression for several years and i am starting to wonder how to break out of the circle of self absorption, or self focus that accompanies it for me.

Typically my thoughts revolve round myself a lot of the day, with worries about my spiritual state, about whether I am 'saved' etc, and also wander over the past a lot, with a lot of ideations about things that others don't believe happened, or was 'in my thinking'.

I got to thinking that constant worrying about my salvation may be self defeating, as it is self concern and that I need to be more outward focused. Its the same with faith, if I question if i have faith, and turn to examine it I will only destroy it. But how can i know i am not deceiving myself, in that regard?

Sounds like worry is an issue here.

If that is the case it is anxiety (rather than depression) that is the issue.

Go to to you doctor and ask for an assessment for cognitive behavioural therapy (the first line treatment for anxiety disorders).

Hope that helps.

 

[Greg J.]

Thanks for replies.

Yes I take a medication, and have been for christian and secular counselling. I am not in agreeance with every psychological theory and approach however, so that makes it a bit difficult, I prefer to know what way a counsellor is coming at things, and to check that out. I think some approaches would not be compatible with me.

It's good to be careful of the basis on which a therapist approaches therapy. It is part of the reason non-Christian therapists feel empty to me. In my experience, they have to be connected to the psychology of knowing the Truth sets you free, which really does work. Jesus said so and it is also my experience. If they don't know the truth, how are they ever going to help me to it? Who I am should be headed toward Jesus' likeness.

 

[Goatee]

Offer up all your suffering to God. Every waking moment to God. Let God know that you are willing to suffer for love of him. Take up your cross and carry it for Christ. Give yourself whole to God.

 

[dms1972]

what activities were you involved in?

They made recordings of services, and I duplicated these if there was a request for one.

I helped with a project to survey local churches and build a database on local church provision for children and young people. Contacted about fifteen churches.

Joined a House Group.

 

[dms1972]

Sounds like worry is an issue here.

If that is the case it is anxiety (rather than depression) that is the issue.

Go to to you doctor and ask for an assessment for cognitive behavioural therapy (the first line treatment for anxiety disorders).

Hope that helps.

Thanks, yes I have been to my doc, and had short term CBT. I'd say that was moderately helpful in some ways, but I don't feel I can really engage with it or talk about everything.

 

[fishyjoe]

I have struggled with depression for several years and i am starting to wonder how to break out of the circle of self absorption, or self focus that accompanies it for me.

Typically my thoughts revolve round myself a lot of the day, with worries about my spiritual state, about whether I am 'saved' etc, and also wander over the past a lot, with a lot of ideations about things that others don't believe happened, or was 'in my thinking'.

I got to thinking that constant worrying about my salvation may be self defeating, as it is self concern and that I need to be more outward focused. Its the same with faith, if I question if i have faith, and turn to examine it I will only destroy it. But how can i know i am not deceiving myself, in that regard?

If you don't have anything identifiably evident to flesh out your faith, then that faith will be based on a sensory void.

 

[sheamiao]

Thanks, yes I have been to my doc, and had short term CBT. I'd say that was moderately helpful in some ways, but I don't feel I can really engage with it or talk about everything.

For me the best way to change my life is to read my bible.if I read enough my mind get renewed, I get the motive wisdom and ways to love others. You can start from john 15