Hey everyone, I've been struggling pretty hard with general depression, spiritual and mental exhaustion and such this last week.
I was saved again about two years ago (roughly). I love Christ with all my heart; we have an awesome relationship, and we always have great conversations, we explore my deeper self and memories together and I trust Him with everything I go through and am.
However I'm having a very hard time this week with staying hopeful, joyful and positive. I just got out a really hard season in the last two weeks, where some expensive things were stolen, I was involved in a bad car accident, I was slammed with very big and unusual expenses all of the sudden, and had bad experiences at work that shook me up pretty badly.
I'm also about four months away from me and my fiance's wedding, and I'm super excited for that. God's really blessed me with her and he's done so much to make the wedding planning process and our general relationship awesome over the last three-ish years we've been together. We have made it through this season together but it has added some stress to things by way of financial strain and increased anxiety on my part.
On top of this, I've started, in the last two weeks, struggling with memories of past traumatic events and feelings. They've permeated my dreams, idle thought processes and emotions. A lot of times they'll strike while I'm praying or talking with God. I've been having a really hard time sleeping due to this, and often wake up hyperventilating.
I'm at this point left still with my faith in tact that this is a season and it will pass. God always tells me how he knows this is all hard but it is for his Glory, and I will come out of it wiser and closer to him, and that my only duty is to bear it just a bit longer. Another thing he tells me about this is that it is necessary for me and my fiancee's marriage in a few months, and later down the road, parents of our kids, and to be excited about this happening now even if I don't understand it. Job often comes to mind with all this but I'm not sure if that's from God or me.
So I'm not really sure if I've been under attack these few weeks, or if they are things God's done. I firmly believe that God never makes bad things happen, but he does allow us to be tried by the enemy to grow in our walk with Him. I also, on the other hand, believe that God is Good, rather than nice, so sometimes what seems mean is actually good for us.
Still, I'm not sure what to do. I know I could have it much harder, but now I'm just really sad and struggling, and not sure what to do.
I was saved again about two years ago (roughly). I love Christ with all my heart; we have an awesome relationship, and we always have great conversations, we explore my deeper self and memories together and I trust Him with everything I go through and am.
However I'm having a very hard time this week with staying hopeful, joyful and positive. I just got out a really hard season in the last two weeks, where some expensive things were stolen, I was involved in a bad car accident, I was slammed with very big and unusual expenses all of the sudden, and had bad experiences at work that shook me up pretty badly.
I'm also about four months away from me and my fiance's wedding, and I'm super excited for that. God's really blessed me with her and he's done so much to make the wedding planning process and our general relationship awesome over the last three-ish years we've been together. We have made it through this season together but it has added some stress to things by way of financial strain and increased anxiety on my part.
On top of this, I've started, in the last two weeks, struggling with memories of past traumatic events and feelings. They've permeated my dreams, idle thought processes and emotions. A lot of times they'll strike while I'm praying or talking with God. I've been having a really hard time sleeping due to this, and often wake up hyperventilating.
I'm at this point left still with my faith in tact that this is a season and it will pass. God always tells me how he knows this is all hard but it is for his Glory, and I will come out of it wiser and closer to him, and that my only duty is to bear it just a bit longer. Another thing he tells me about this is that it is necessary for me and my fiancee's marriage in a few months, and later down the road, parents of our kids, and to be excited about this happening now even if I don't understand it. Job often comes to mind with all this but I'm not sure if that's from God or me.
So I'm not really sure if I've been under attack these few weeks, or if they are things God's done. I firmly believe that God never makes bad things happen, but he does allow us to be tried by the enemy to grow in our walk with Him. I also, on the other hand, believe that God is Good, rather than nice, so sometimes what seems mean is actually good for us.
Still, I'm not sure what to do. I know I could have it much harder, but now I'm just really sad and struggling, and not sure what to do.
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