Definitely need some prayer, perhaps some advice too

[Gnarwhal]

Hey guys, I need some serious prayer over something. I have taken it before God time and again and I feel like I keep stumbling and struggling with the same issues. My girlfriend and I got engaged a week and a half ago, and it's been amazing. Stressful at times with the planning process, but still amazing nonetheless. However, we've been struggling with purity. After every 'incident' we go before God and pray together, asking for forgiveness and for strength to resist temptation in the future. Also rebuking the enemy from our relationship and inviting the Lord in to be in our midst. Yet, after these heartfelt and truly genuine moments when we absolutely desire to follow the Lord's will, we turn around a day or two later and fall down again. I feel like it's some sort of perpetual cycle that we're stuck in and unfortunately I'm afraid of how it may impact things.

I just want to ask for prayer, that the Lord would bless us and keep us. He would guard us from impurity, that He would guide us to the good and perfect things that He has for us and that He'd deliver us from this struggle. We're trying to do everything on our end but we're still falling short, I'm feeling discouraged and lately quite a bit of anxiety. I pray that the Lord equips me to fill the role I'm supposed to as a spiritual leader, that I would have the strength, for my part, to resist temptation and to lead her in His footsteps to the things He has for her, and us.

Blessings on you guys.

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

Said a prayer for the both of you. As for advice, since willpower isn't doing the trick, I would say that maybe you need to redefine your boundaries so that it doesn't happen again. If there is a certain scenario where this keeps happening it would be best not to put yourself in that situation again. Remember that God has blessed you with this relationship in the first place -- and He wants you to save certain activities for marriage. It would behoove you to do so. At least that's what I remind myself of when I am tempted. I also know from past mistakes in other relationships that sex, before it is appropriate, usually messes things up.

 

[Luther073082]

First of all prayed for you.

Secondly I'm in agreement with the beautful & intelligent woman with the previous post. Redefine your boundries, to where that doesn't happen. If you have to then even go as extreme not spending any time in private with the two of you.

Beyond that it is good that you are getting married so long as it has been given the due consideration. I don't know your story but I will warn you to make sure you and your fiance love eachother just as much when you arn't being physical as you do when you are.

Good luck to the two of you.

May the Lord bless you and keep you.
May he make his face shine upon you and be gracious unto you.
May the Lord look upon you with favor, and give you peace.

 

[latteda]

That's tough. I prayed for you. If you haven't already done so, I'd suggest taking yourselves out of situations that make the temptation too strong. For example, spending alone time together in the house/car, positions while cuddling that cause strong temptation, staying together at very late times in the evening when you're tired and your resistance is low, where you touch each other, or whatever does it for you. Even things that seem "innocent" should be avoided if they are turning you on too much.

 

[HollyDoris]

Sexual impurity can really destroy a great relationship- I know from experience. It's really important that you try your best to abstain from any sexual acts to keep your relationship as strong as possible. It may mean that you have to really limit your alone time from now until the wedding or limit your physical activity to nothing more than a peck on the lips, you know? Talk to your fiance and decide what's best for your relationship. Try to avoid all forms of compromising, they only lead down a destructive path.

Good luck And congrats on the engagement!

 

[Gnarwhal]

Thanks for all your prayers and wisdom everyone, I greatly appreciate it!

After she went home last night around 12:30 I drove out to a quiet place and sat in my car to pray and worship, ended up being there til 3 in the morning. It felt good to lay it all out before God like that, to "hand him the keys" so acknowledge that His will is what we want to govern our relationship. I went over there this morning before she went to work and prayed for her, which was also encouraging for the both of us. I'm hoping that being proactive in fighting this sort of thing and constantly walking in the Spirit will help us abstain and then work towards restoring that aspect of our relationship.

And thanks for the congrats too!

 

[The Nihilist]

Sexual impurity can really destroy a great relationship- I know from experience. It's really important that you try your best to abstain from any sexual acts to keep your relationship as strong as possible. It may mean that you have to really limit your alone time from now until the wedding or limit your physical activity to nothing more than a peck on the lips, you know? Talk to your fiance and decide what's best for your relationship. Try to avoid all forms of compromising, they only lead down a destructive path.

Good luck And congrats on the engagement!

That's crazy. Most relationships have a heavy dose of sexual impurity, particularly the ones that last.

 

[Markus6]

Have a quick wedding very soon and enjoy!

 

[Amanda54321]

I agree, it wouldnt be a bad idea to find some accountability partners.

 

[miss_klara]

That's crazy. Most relationships have a heavy dose of sexual impurity, particularly the ones that last.

I don't want to look like I'm picking on your beliefs or anything, so pleeeease don't take it that way, but I just want to say that this is not practical advice to those of us that are Christians and feel convicted not to have pre-marital sex.

In a nutshell, a lot of us Christians believe that premarital sex is a sin. This means that when we do engage in premarital sex, or even get too close to the line, our actions hurt God, and hurt our relationship with God, which becomes more and more detrimental to ourselves, and can inevitably hurt our relationships with our SOs. Make sense? Whether it's because of guilt, whether we find a separation from God, whether others find out and it hurts our 'good Christian' image... those who feel convicted not to have sex before marriage, and then do, are hurt in all kinds of ways.

Maybe non-Christian relationships do last with sex, but Christian relationships are different, in many ways. For example, the most important person in your life is God, with your boyfriend/girlfriend coming in at 2nd place, and so you do the best you can to let your actions reflect that.

You're allowed your opinion, however in this situation you don't seem to understand where the OP is coming from, his reasons for believing this issue to be a struggle. So I guess if anything I wanted to give a bit of an explanation, from the point of view of someone who was convicted not to have pre-marital sex, and ended up pushing the line a bit far herself. The guilt, the separation from God... I was hit with all that, so I know that the OP's concern is very real.

I wanted to stress that I didn't come back at you like this purely because you're an atheist, I'd probably say the same thing to a Christian who shared your opinion on sex.

Yeah.