deeper fellowship....

[goldenviolet]

a thing that can be an obstical in fellowship:

trying to listen to someone vent, cuss and complaine. tell you personal problems about someone else.

the only thing to do is encourage them to treat even our trials as a God's ways of shaping us and drawing us close. and refuse to engage the other.

when a person thinks they have the right to cuss and vent and exspose you to their troubles as a right.... then how is this fellowship?

if you correct a fool he will curse you, and if you correct a wise person, they will love you. (proverbs) ..... don't you feel small when you read proverbs? i do ... i have much to learn. the "fool" part sinks in hard.

this thread is to deeper fellowship. deeper fellowship is full of disapline. it is tough to tell children "no" when they cry, but nessasary.
i send mine to their rooms to calm down. it is for their good and mine. (but adults do this... ) after my kids are calmed, they apologize and fall into mommy's arms for comfort and sometimes advice.

God has the only shoulder's that can hold all of this. i think sometimes He sends us off to cool, or to see where our temper gets us.. ( or our troubles that are our own doing) but He always uses it to shape us, and rescue us.some of our troubles maybe too big for fellowship with eachother; but never too big for Him.

so as the songs says:
blessed be the name of the Lord...blessed be the glorious name... when there is pain in the offering; still i will say,
"BLESSED BE THE NAME, THE GLORIOUS NAME OF THE LORD!"

 

[whatseekye]

Amen sister. This is good advice. I am sometimes plagued with bitter feelings and have an urge to complain and pity myself. One thing that helps me to remember to not gossip or complain to other people is the thought that I might be stumbling another Christian by planting a bitter root in them. It's also possible to discourage nonbelievers from the faith by appearing hostile or unforgiving. The bible says that bitterness is something that spreads from one person to another, like a plant grows and takes root in my different people:

"Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many."

Hebrews 12:14-15

 

[goldenviolet]

whatseekye ..... i had not thought to add the scripture that is in my heart about this. thank you for putting the one you did. wow. that one is also in a proverb ( i'm studying proverbs)... but i have so many preoverbs floating around in my head i can't remember there where-abouts. i do know they are before chapter 20 ... i haven't got that far yet.

the biggest scriptures on my heart is that the bible says: God chastins those He loves.
(disaplines). yes it hurts sometimes. but we know that God is right and it is for our own good; and best of all, He loves us so much. our kids feel the same way about us if we love them. even when they stomp off to their rooms. some times we do that to God.
one of our pastors, Tom, is a disaplinarian. God bless him. i have seen him cry over hurting another's feelings, in his line of speaking the truth. the church must have order, and moderation of certain things. somethings must not be permitted to continue.. in our churches, homes, with relationships... on our websites.

Ephesians 4:15-16
15 but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head--Christ-- 16 from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love.

Ephesians 4:25-31
25 Therefore, putting away lying, "Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor," for we are members of one another. 26 "Be angry, and do not sin": do not let the sun go down on your wrath, 27 nor give place to the devil. 28 Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let him labor, working with his hands what is good, that he may have something to give him who has need. 29 Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.

1 Corinthians 5:11-13
11 But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner--not even to eat with such a person. 12 For what have I to do with judging those also who are outside? Do you not judge those who are inside? 13 But those who are outside God judges. Therefore "put away from yourselves the evil person."

well, we're all guilty. i certainly remember being on the disaplined side many times. but there is somethings i have deffinately learned not to do again. i know i will continue to be on the disaplined side of the fence too. my ways can be stubborn at times to listen to truth. i just do my best to submit to it. i'm blessed to have Godly counsel in my Father, His word, in my fellowship at home, and on some of these posts.

 

[shezshy]

I'll try to complain less

 

[goldenviolet]

I'll try to complain less

hello.

can i share a "mommy" thought with you? it's because i have teens, and you are a teen. i want to tell you, that at your age, sharing what's going on in your world is important. i let my kids schedule "complaining"... or if they are having a bad day, we make some time. the difference is you aren't complaining if you are talking to a trusted friend/ or older person to gain feedback, get support, and get your feelings out. on this side of the coin; trying not to complain, but save your "complaints" to an appropriate moment and appropriate way is what i'm talking about. it can build lots of things.
i'm bringing this up because gaining control of how to do things is all about being a teen. you aren't a kid... but not quite grown up: you're learning to be grown up.

i hope i made sense. "complaining" is a away for us adults to help you learn how to exspess things you don't see yet... and also to help you get out things, that you are learning to deal with (like thinking outloud).

so going off and just complaining and venting inappropriate anger: is what i'm refering to as the wrong way to fellowship.

 

[Proverbs31]

Each day I ask God to give me the strength to do and say the right things. But at times it get very hard. Especially working in an environment where most of the people are unsaved. But the good Lord has promised not to give us more than we could bear. In his word he had promised to provide our every needs.Thats why I lean to him daily for help and strength to survive in this world.

 

[shezshy]

rdee:I understand what you meant,but really I do complain alot.I always have because of certain living conditions with one parent and then another.I still think God hates complainers,as I have it better than most. trying to be more religious but I'm caught up so complaining is like my therapy.thats all I wanted to say.Your post made sense in ways you dont realize,ok?

 

[goldenviolet]

shezshy you certainly are a toughful and mature young lady.

 

[Leah]

I never realized that listening to someone else's venting/complaining can be a stumbling block for not just christians, but for anyone. Thanks for sharing that.

So let me ask you this. As christians, what're we supposed to do when people vent/complain to us (the cussing part I COMPLETELY understand and wouldn't care to hear that either. Who would anyway)?? Are we supposed to just dismiss them and tell them to go away and let them deal with their issues on their own?? How can we be the light of the world if we pick and choose who we talk to or have anything to do with?? I understand that we're to avoid bad company, but isn't it also true that sometimes God brings people into out lives to teach us (so we can become spiritually mature and grow closer to Him) somethings about ourselves, even?? I'm a bit confused (yet again) so could someone kindly explain the answers to my questions please?

thanks

 

[goldenviolet]

Gods Revenger .... i think we should be honest with the person. if they haven't learned this lesson, they'll get mad. so i think it is ok to turn your focus back to other things (don't argue with them, if you can prevent it). but then i think it'd super important to find a way to let that person know, that you understand it's a learning process. so let them cool off; and pray for them to find many good things in their path to help them have wisdom and pray that they do give all of that frustration they felt to God. after enough time goes by, they will forgive you.... and God opens doors for us to reconcile things or move on.
we all have lessons to learn. it's good to learn them from and with forgiving and loving people.

we're one big family

 

[fieldlily]

rdee,

I agree with your above post. I have been facing a situation like this with a relative for years. In love I can't just blow her away, but I shouldn't give into the anger and the venting and especially the gossip she wants company for. Nor do I want to be lured into assassinating the character of people who she has ought against.

It is a challenge to try to redirect her but I have been doing it a lot lately. Sometimes confrontation is necessary. I did this with her some years back and she rejected me and had nothing to do with me for months. She became very angry. Finally she came around to apologize. I forgave her and virtually started over. Sometimes I just back off and take a break.

I know these comments she makes are not of God even though sometimes she says the right words. I don't think she has ever really accepted Jesus as Savior although right now she is reading the bible from cover to cover. I have witnessed to her many times. She is always saying she plans to go to a church, but she attended one once or twice in the past five years.

To her the Bible is mostly just literature, not a rule for conduct and life and she favors those who are skeptical of Jesus and the Bible in general. I keep praying...but wonder if I will eventually give up and let God use others on her behalf.

..in a quandry about it.

 

[Jenster]

Yes, rdee, amen! I have MUCH to learn as well. I don't think I fully understand all of this (who does?) but I appreciate being reminded that the point of rebuke is restoration, not punishment.

 

[goldenviolet]

birdfriend ~ i'm throwing alot more in here. just because alot of us come from dysfunctional homes.
i have a family member like this. i love her dearly. she drives me nuts. she makes me mad. i love her dearly..... !!! ....
i have learned to just do my best and let God be my rest. like this: when she talks about people, i try to see it not as gossip, but heart pouring. i never repeat it. i do try my best to give honest feed back... "this topic is not something i think i should know" ...... "that sounds awful, i will keep so-in-so in my prayers".... and rely on God to convict her heart, so we can still have family peace.
i found that the more i listen to her, the more i can give feedback of my own feelings. she responds angry; but tries to respect it. she probly talks about me like crazy. i just try to except that this is where she is. but she learned real quick that when she vents, talks about people with malice, cusses, and such, i'm not staying. i'm not rude, just very firm: it makes me uncomfortable and messes up my feelings.
i confess to her i'm trying not to do these things because God wants me to love everybody and i want to be pleasing to God. you maybe telling her these things now. it actually took us years to get to a spot of understanding.
and she still ignores it sometimes (or maybe just doesn't fully understand) but in the end: she has a chirstian example and things God can call to her heart about. i'm the seed He's the Savior. i don't have to try to do anything but be obediant. God puts some people in our lives that teach us, and we teach them. just by being who we are.
sometimes we must stay away from family. but sometimes we just need to do our best to keep peace. there is a family member that molested other family members. i do not have anything to do with that family. because they refuse to take responsibility for their lifestyle. i have children, and they made a path that is better not to be near. but i witness to two sexual offenders. one is a young man who is really mixed up about life. i see him as a son. another is very verbal about his life in repentance even completing a sexual offender program that was a couple years long. i am prudent though. there is some situations to never be in, even with repentance. even with a christian (even a christain you trust).
there is a family member who scares me too. his anger is very frightening. i refuse to be anywhere near him alone or near that house if there is fighting. i have even phoned the police and that got him arrested (i was there and corned). he hated me for awhile, but now acts like it never happened. the lady that was abuised by him forgave him, and it is their life, i except that. they love eachother and want to work it out. i encourage that. i encourage no abuise too.
without verbally preaching at anyone. i just try to be loving to them right where they are.
know that God uses where ever we are, whatever cirumstance to speak to all of us. just do your best in your own walk.

God bless you all!

maybe someday you'll be sharing your walk with them as they have growth of their own.

 

[goldenviolet]

Yes, rdee, amen! I have MUCH to learn as well. I don't think I fully understand all of this (who does?) but I appreciate being reminded that the point of rebuke is restoration, not punishment.

rebuke is restoration, not punishment.
it certainly is suppose to be.

perfect wording.

 

[fieldlily]

birdfriend ~ i'm throwing alot more in here. just because alot of us come from dysfunctional homes.
i have a family member like this. i love her dearly. she drives me nuts. she makes me mad. i love her dearly..... !!! ....
i have learned to just do my best and let God be my rest. like this: when she talks about people, i try to see it not as gossip, but heart pouring. i never repeat it. i do try my best to give honest feed back... "this topic is not something i think i should know" ...... "that sounds awful, i will keep so-in-so in my prayers".... and rely on God to convict her heart, so we can still have family peace.
i found that the more i listen to her, the more i can give feedback of my own feelings. she responds angry; but tries to respect it. she probly talks about me like crazy. i just try to except that this is where she is. but she learned real quick that when she vents, talks about people with malice, cusses, and such, i'm not staying. i'm not rude, just very firm: it makes me uncomfortable and messes up my feelings.
i confess to her i'm trying not to do these things because God wants me to love everybody and i want to be pleasing to God. you maybe telling her these things now. it actually took us years to get to a spot of understanding.
and she still ignores it sometimes (or maybe just doesn't fully understand) but in the end: she has a chirstian example and things God can call to her heart about. i'm the seed He's the Savior. i don't have to try to do anything but be obediant. God puts some people in our lives that teach us, and we teach them. just by being who we are.
sometimes we must stay away from family. but sometimes we just need to do our best to keep peace. there is a family member that molested other family members. i do not have anything to do with that family. because they refuse to take responsibility for their lifestyle. i have children, and they made a path that is better not to be near. but i witness to two sexual offenders. one is a young man who is really mixed up about life. i see him as a son. another is very verbal about his life in repentance even completing a sexual offender program that was a couple years long. i am prudent though. there is some situations to never be in, even with repentance. even with a christian (even a christain you trust).
there is a family member who scares me too. his anger is very frightening. i refuse to be anywhere near him alone or near that house if there is fighting. i have even phoned the police and that got him arrested (i was there and corned). he hated me for awhile, but now acts like it never happened. the lady that was abuised by him forgave him, and it is their life, i except that. they love eachother and want to work it out. i encourage that. i encourage no abuise too.
without verbally preaching at anyone. i just try to be loving to them right where they are.
know that God uses where ever we are, whatever cirumstance to speak to all of us. just do your best in your own walk.

God bless you all!

maybe someday you'll be sharing your walk with them as they have growth of their own.

redee....Thanks for more sharing. Actually I was agreeing with your first post. I should have said...this is an extended family member of mine. Still a problem, but thank God not in my immediate family. I am sharing my walk with her...when there is an opportunity.

And thanks for the reps.

Bless you.

 

[JPPT1974]

We need to rebuke responsibly not just have an "better than thou" attitudes and to do it in a firm but "polite" way.

 

[Jenster]

We need to rebuke responsibly not just have an "better than thou" attitudes and to do it in a firm but "polite" way.

AMEN to that too! Very difficult for me though.

 

[goldenviolet]

James 1:1-9
Greeting to the Twelve Tribes
Faith Works in Trial
1 James, a bondservant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ,
To the twelve tribes which are scattered abroad:
Greetings.
Profiting from Trials
2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. 6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. 7 For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

 

[Knowledge3]

I concur with this thread.

See, I am sort of a lone statue. I drift among the comsic waves in worship because the last 2-3 years have been spent in solitude worship. I feel that Jesus has made me a silent priest clothed with faith. I forgot just how wide and high the scope of Jesus' divinity is. And Jesus has to remind of it at times.

I feel that the world will go back to it's ways before this short lived period of "enlightenment." I think that people are going to go from bad to worse, but I am going to remain firm, understanding things a little more clear each day.

The problem we face comes from ungodly pride, we say, I have earned my money, so why should I not enjoy life and be easygoing?

That's not the way God wants me to act, I will be discerning and sensible. Because I see.

 

[goldenviolet]

Knowledge3 this is a good topic. christians can be quite critical of one another too.
we leave wouned hearts by our actions. deeper fellow is soooo very vital. people learn of God's love by how we interact.