Death in the family

Both handicapped people and little children are examples of the compassion and love that humans have towards those who suffer in this lifetimes. In fact, we should feel that same compassion and hope towards all humans, whether they are suffering or not, that they would get to paradise. But the reason why we tend to especially focus this hope on examples such as helpless children and handicapped people is because we also have a deep sense of justice alongside our gifts of love and compassion. We desperately want these people to go to heaven because in our opinion it would compensate for the unfairness of suffering in this world or dying prematurely.

Love, compassion, justice - what amazing gifts we have and what amazing creatures we humans are!!!

Personally, I do not think we can draw sweeping conclusions concerning the fate of any category of persons as a whole. Each person is an individual with their own personal relationship with God. Each person is also a sinner by nature even before they commit their first sin. Jesus is the only person who is totally sin-free. Even babies are sinners by nature although not yet by deed. we can compare babies with, say, lion cubs. Even though a lion cub is cute and cuddly and hasn't killed any prey itself, it is still a wild animal and a predator - it is what it is even before it has grown into being one. Humans are the same.

But this is not a problem for us because God deliberately made us this way. He does NOT expect us to be perfect before accepting us, he expects to believe in him and his mercy and to love him for it.

Young children trust in their parents with complete blind faith and that is what God wants from all of us. This surely does not mean that only those who are intellectually capable of studying bible, meditating on such matters as righteousness, sanctification and justification can get to be with God! Why? Because God has placed his law into our hearts, it is no longer written externally on slabs of stone. It is our conscience that read and knows that law intuitively.

Therefore God's love and mercy extends to all those that during their lives have followed their conscience and shown love towards their fellow humans. Paul talks about this is Romans (Ch 2:14).

Naturally, the issue of belief in Christ arises in these situations because the bible talks about faith in Christ and not just "kind-hearted atheists". But we cannot judge what other peoples' faith is about. Many people do not go to church or talk about their beliefs, but this does not mean that deep inside it is not there. Nor do we know what happens inside in those last moments as someone dies. Equally, we do not know if those who most vividly express their faith are actually genuine in their belief!!

I am sure we all know people whom we love who have died without any clear indication of faith in Christ and about whose fate we worry. I personally take encouragement from Paul's letter 1 Cor 3:10-15. This suggests that even the smallest mustard seed of faith will keep us saved even if only by our fingertips: "If it is burned up [what we have built on Christ's foundation] he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames."

The bottom line? Well, we cannot really answer the question whether particular individuals go to heaven because it is God's decision, but if love and compassion are God's gifts to us and people have shown a willingness to use these gifts during their lifetimes, is God going to abandon them entirely in spite of all the prayers from their family and friends still on earth? I doubt that. Therefore, I think we have good cause to be positively hopeful and trust in God that love and justice will indeed prevail for all people, especially for those whose own opportunities to walk with God on this earth were limited in scope or duration.

Hi Komplex ( I like the name )

Could you explain a little more about your friend:

Komplex001 said:

I have a friend who has alot of faith, she admires God but doesn't believe in them. You're saying that faith could keep her saved? Sorry if I misunderstand.

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You say she admires God, therefore she believes in God. But I don't understand what you mean by "but doesn't believe in them". She doesn't believe in who?

Do you mean that she believes in God but is not a Christian, i.e. does not believe in Christ?

As far as Christianity is concerned it is only through faith that we are saved:

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—" Eph 2:8

I'd be happy to offer some more thoughts if you could clarify your friend's situation a bit more.

Komplex001 said:

She doesn't believe in God and has not accepted christ as her savior but she respects and admires him.

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This is a quite common situation. Many people say that they admire Jesus as a man but do not accept that he was the Son of God or even that there is a God.

I think we humans have a common problem that we tend to judge situations as we find them. I.e if someone today says that they do not believe in God we think they are not saved. But the truth is that God not only knows our present situation, but he also knows our number of days on this earth. In other words, we tend to look at the situation today as a snapshot whereas God looks at today as one frame in a movie - there is a big difference!

He is in control of matters and he will call people at various times in their lives. We know from the bible that all people come to bow their knee and acknowledge Christ at some time, but we do not know if or when people will accept him as their Saviour.

So I think it looks very promising for your friend if tshe already knows Jesus well enough to admire him - only one small step still to go

I think you can confidently leave matters in God's hands and continue praying for your friend. God likes nothing more than to respond to sincere prayer. I think your friend has a very good friend in you!

Do not worry, all the religions here on earth are created by God, this is done because everyone is on a different 'spiritual' level, the religions all act as stepping stones towards God and the 'correct' reality, things like atheism and satanism eventually destroy themselves because the people who walk that way come eventually to conclude that they are walking the wrong way and will return back to God. God will even love these people and when it comes to children and handicapped people the following truth applies.

People who are born Handicapped people are basically stationary, they do not go forward or backwards spiritually, and are here on earth because they serve as an oppertunity to serve our lord.

We have to understand that in heaven there are no children, this may look odd but a soul is millions of years old, so when a baby dies a natural cause it will return to its previous consiousness before it descended here on earth. It must be explained that looks can be deceiving because when you die and meet your deceased loved ones who are in a state of heaven, can decide for themselves how 'old or young' they look, and usually adapt themselves to how you remembered them. When a baby dies it always has a special meaning, usually that the cycle of the soul of that individual here on earth is completed.

quick question:

my good friend's grandmother passed away over the thanksgiving break. i've never expirienced a death in my family. what can i tell him to comfort and console him as he cope with his loss?

I am told that the number one problem facing people today is grief and loneliness. People encounter major losses in their lives; and sadly, many never get over them. When tragedy occurs and the hurt seems unbearable, Satan sees it as an opportunity to attempt to bring a family or an individual into permanent bondage.

The death of a loved one, divorce, or the severing of a close relationship can bring grief; and most people go through a grieving process. The key to victory is to understand the difference between a normal, balanced "grieving process" and a spirit of grief that will try to attach itself to the hurting person. One helps the grieving person get better with the passing of time; the other causes him to get worse and sink deeper and deeper into the pit of despair.

I believe that one of the reasons why people, especially Christians, get into bondage during these trying times is due to a lack of understanding about the "grieving process." The term simply describes a succession of events that may occur in a person's life when something or someone that means a lot to them is suddenly no longer there.

Obviously, all people do not experience the same things in the same degrees; but we do have emotions that can be wounded and bruised and must be healed. Healing is a process—unless God gives a miracle, which He does at times—but more frequently, He walks His children through things step by step.

Shock and denial are two of the first things a person may encounter when tragedy occurs. Actually, God uses these to protect us from devastation. To illustrate, consider an automobile's shock absorbers. They are designed to cushion the vehicle from unexpected bumps in the road. Without them, it would fall apart from the violence of the blows it encounters during its travels.

People are often the same way. We are traveling on the road of life, and most of us are not expecting bumps and potholes. Therefore, we are not ready for them when they suddenly show up. Our Holy Ghost-installed "shock absorbers" cushion the blow until we can readjust and adapt our thinking to accommodate the sudden change in the ride. Shock and denial are good if they are temporary; however, they become a major problem if people permanently refuse to face reality and to learn how to deal with them.

The next thing people may (and often do) feel is anger—at themselves. They begin to think of things they wish they would or would not have done that might have made the situation better or prevented it. Satan wants us to live in regrets. Who is alive that would not say, "I wish I hadn't done that!" or "I wish I had done this"? Satan seeks to place blame; and it is intended to throw a person into a lifetime of guilt, condemnation, and self-hatred.

The apostle Paul stated in Philippians 3:13, ...one thing I do [it is my one aspiration]: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead. I like the phrase in the Amplified translation, "straining." This tells me that whenever I may have to "press on", there will be opposition from the enemy.

Endings always bring new beginnings. Satan strives to keep us out of the new place that God has prepared. He wants to trap us in the past and causes us to live in permanent misery. Self-anger and self-blame will accomplish the devil's purpose.

People may also experience anger at the person who left them—even if they died. My aunt told me that after my uncle died, she would sometimes beat his pillow at night and yell, "Why did you leave me?" Obviously, her intellect knew that he did not purposely leave her, but her emotions were speaking. We must realize that emotions have a voice; and when they are wounded, they may react like a wounded animal. Wounded animals can be quite dangerous, and so can wounded emotions be, if they are followed.

The grieving person needs to be taught about this grieving process and some of the things he may experience. He must also be taught to place little or no value on his feelings—and not to follow them. For a person who has experienced a major loss, it is not the time to be making serious decisions nor the time to deal with other issues that may be anxiety producing or emotionally upsetting.

Anger at God is quite common. People frequently ask, "If God is good, all powerful, and full of love for us, why didn't He stop the thing that caused the pain?" Satan seeks to build a wall between God and the hurting person. He seizes the opportunity to say, "God is not good, and He cannot be trusted." However, we know that it is a lie. Satan is a liar and the father of lies. The truth is not in him according to the Word of God.

Verses 12 and 13 of James 1 states, Blessed (happy, to be envied) is the man who is patient under trial and stands up under temptation, for when he has stood the test and been approved, he will receive [the victor's] crown of life which God has promised to those who love Him. Let no one say when he is tempted, I am tempted from God; for God is incapable of being tempted by [what is] evil and He Himself tempts no one.

And verse 17 says, Every good gift and every perfect (free, large, full) gift is from above; it comes down from the Father of all [that gives] light, in [the shining of] Whom there can be no variation [rising or setting] or shadow cast by His turning [as in an eclipse].

In other words, God is good; and He cannot be anything else. Furthermore, He is not one way one time and another way another time. He does not change. He is good, and that is the way He is. But what about the original question? Since God is good and all-powerful, why didn't He stop this thing before it brought all the hurt and pain?

To be very honest, these are questions for which we do not have completely sufficient answers.

I Corinthians 13:12 says, ...Now I know in part (imperfectly)... Trust always requires unanswered questions!

We want answers to everything, but we must come to the place where we are satisfied to know the One who knows and place our trust in Him. Being mad at God is foolish because He is the only One who can bring the needed help and comfort to the grieving or bereaved person.

Finally, people also get angry at the devil. This is normal and even good if the anger is properly expressed. The only way to repay the devil for hurt and devastation in our personal lives is to aggressively and vehemently do the works of Jesus. I receive much comfort and joy from Romans 12:21, ...overcome (master) evil with good.

People experiencing tragedy often go through stages of emotions expressed as sobbing and hysteria. These may come and go when least expected. Even people who are normally quite unemotional may experience a great deal of emotion during times of loss.

In general, people are afraid of emotions; and an uncontrolled display of these emotions is even more fearful. I encourage you to "fear not" because it will pass. Good understanding and a lot of help from the Holy Spirit will bring you through this kind of situation.

Confusion, disorientation, and fear are common. Depression and waves of overwhelming feelings are experienced by many, as well as, physical symptoms caused by the emotional stress, with which the wounded person is dealing. I believe the key word in these situations is balance.



Here is the link if you have more problems: http://www.joycemeyer.org/cgi-bin/hfth.plx?page=hfth&subpage=hfth&page_ref=Nav&section_id=NA



The Bible talks of how King David was feeling depressed, but he resisted it. He did not sink into it, nor get into the pit of despair. He described how he felt, but he made a decision not to live by his feelings (read Psalm 42:5-11 and Psalm 143). People have often confided to me their discouragement from being made to feel (by others) that they had insufficient faith when they go through experiences like this.

I believe it often takes more faith to go through something victoriously than to be delivered from it. There are some that experience complete deliverance from grief after a great loss, but that does not happen to all people. There are others, and I might even say most of us, who go through very emotionally difficult times when tragic loss occurs. Those who are walking in faith come out of it, and they come out of it better than when they went in. In closing, let me say, "Do not lose your hope!" If you are hurting right now due to a loss in your life, I want to say to you that a new beginning is in front of you. You may go through some things that you will never understand, but you can trust God to work them out for your good. What Satan intends for your harm, God can turn around for your good!