Dealing with violence

[LachMck]

Hey, I'm trying to deal with an issue, as I am a youth leader, and I want to have this issue sorted before I try and help someone else with it.
Basically, back when I was in year 9 and 10, I had bullying problems. Following my family's advice, and the complete failure of the school to actually help properly, I took it to myself to stop the bullying through fighting.

I was able to stop the bullies through fighting, but now I'm wondering whether or not it was right to do in God's eyes. I know what the bible says about turning the other cheek, but at the same time I wouldn't want a kid to be put through I pain I was just because I said to.

Thanks and God bless
Lachie

 

[StickwithJesus]

The Bible is filled with examples of men who stood their ground and fought on behalf of their God. If you turned your cheek and gave them the chance to repent; then I don't see how you did any wrong.

 

[LachMck]

Thing is, I didn't turn the cheek. I punched back twice as hard.

 

[StickwithJesus]

Thing is, I didn't turn the cheek. I punched back twice as hard.

"I had bullying problems. Following my family's advice, and the complete failure of the school to actually help properly"

sounds like they had a couple of weeks to me.

 

[LachMck]

Yeah, it was over a period of time. But really I just want to know what you guys think is the biblical way to deal with it.

 

[Sailorgirl13]

Hey Lachie,
I too have been bullied extensively. Mostly through primary school. It started verbally but progressed to physical. Like you, my school did nothing, my teacher told me "they're great kids, they wouldn't do something like that". My parents were preoccupied so I had to deal with it myself.
I tried hitting them back but that just resulted in further hurt. So I learnt how to avoid the worst injuries and deal with the ones I got dealt.

The biblical way would have been to "turn the other cheek" and protest by not retaliating.
Think, if you were punching someone repeatedly in the face and they just took it, without saying anything or attempting to hit back or even run away, you would wonder why.

As Christians we are called to show our faith by our actions. It would have been better to have ignored it (as hard as I know it is) but that obviously can't be helped now.
I pray for the bullies that tormented me. Honestly. I hope that one day they will realise how good God is and realise the power of forgiveness. Maybe something I said or did will be remembered in the future and prompt them to go to church or pick up a bible.

As for you being a youth leader.
Don't be ashamed of your actions. No, they weren't particularly "Christian" but they might have stopped further injury to yourself.
One thing I've learnt is that people are much more likely to trust someone who's not perfect. Your youth kids will appreciate it if you are honest, and tell them your mistakes.
I see it as an opportunity to turn your bad experiences into a lesson or guideline for those you lead.

Hope that helped but feel free to PM or whatever at any time

"I have the right to do anything." you say - but not everything is beneficial. "I have the right to do anything." - but not everything is constructive.
~ 1 Cor 10:23

 

[LachMck]

Thanks heaps for that. Helps me get that off my chest.
God bless you all

Lachie

 

[snoopy500]

I as well had to go through a lot of bullying issues, and I just learnt to deal with it in my own way. People who bully look for a reaction and if you don't give it, hey eventually they will get bored, give up and go do something else, and knowing that did help me a lot.

 

[WhereIsReligion]

You did what the school couldn't handle. Can't say you didn't try. I think you did the right thing.

 

[Dantheman2012]

I have been a favorite by Bullies in Middle school. Yes, I remember ever bit of it, I got made fun of, tripped by, and laughed at. If the school does not do anything, I personally would tell your parents regardless of what they are doing, and repeatedly tell them and principles/teachers until they do something. If it gets bad to the point where they don't do anything, then try to use humor against this bully, or try to ignore him.

However, if things do get extremely bad, I would seriously consider talking to your parents about moving to a different school. I personally wouldn't beat the person that's tormenting me, but if I have to in self defense because of a bully physically hitting you, then that's what I'd do.

Please pray for your enemies, and remember that death is in the power of the tongue.


Matthew 5:43-48

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? ...