I work in a small office of 13 employees. A few weeks ago, a co-worker died very unexpectedly and I'm struggling with how to deal with it.
To explain, this co-worker caused alot of tension in the office. He had many personal struggles and dealt with depression. Often, he didn't treat his co-workers respectfully. At other times, he seemed very pleasant.
The last day he was at work, he was in a very good mood and I can remember just having normal conversations with him. The very next day he didn't call in to work and didn't show up. I called to check up on him and he didn't answer nor return the call. This was a Friday. On Monday, he didn't show up nor return phone calls concerned with where he was. Tuesday, the same, except this time we callled the police to investigate. He was not married and lived alone in an apartment.
I struggle with what I said about him the days he didn't show up for work and was most likely already passed away, although I didn't know it. I was upset with him for not returning calls and felt he was playing his normal routine of acting strange.
I struggle with what my emotions are. . Beiing in a small office, I had contact with him 5 days a week. Even though he wasn't the easiest person to get along with, I almost feel as if it's wrong to grieve for him because of how he often treated others. He also died a bizarre death that I struggle with even thinking about.
I don't know how to put all my thoughts together and how to go on. Of course, I would have never wanted him to die, but I don't know what my emotions really are? Is this odd for someone to feel this way?
To explain, this co-worker caused alot of tension in the office. He had many personal struggles and dealt with depression. Often, he didn't treat his co-workers respectfully. At other times, he seemed very pleasant.
The last day he was at work, he was in a very good mood and I can remember just having normal conversations with him. The very next day he didn't call in to work and didn't show up. I called to check up on him and he didn't answer nor return the call. This was a Friday. On Monday, he didn't show up nor return phone calls concerned with where he was. Tuesday, the same, except this time we callled the police to investigate. He was not married and lived alone in an apartment.
I struggle with what I said about him the days he didn't show up for work and was most likely already passed away, although I didn't know it. I was upset with him for not returning calls and felt he was playing his normal routine of acting strange.
I struggle with what my emotions are. . Beiing in a small office, I had contact with him 5 days a week. Even though he wasn't the easiest person to get along with, I almost feel as if it's wrong to grieve for him because of how he often treated others. He also died a bizarre death that I struggle with even thinking about.
I don't know how to put all my thoughts together and how to go on. Of course, I would have never wanted him to die, but I don't know what my emotions really are? Is this odd for someone to feel this way?
