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Dealing with Our Inner Voices
To live in humility is to live always in total confidence of God’s love, protection, and guidance
and, therefore, to have no concern for yourself when others insult you—or praise you.
Secure in God’s love, you don’t have to base your identity on whether or not others acknowledge you.[88]
The Love Crucified Community.
The Simple Path to Union with God
(p. 82). Kindle Edition.
The above quote is powerful, but living out in my own life is challenging. The main reason is that I am not mature in the virtue of humility. Total confidence in God is not something that can be achieved without deep reflection, and a willingness not to listen to my inner voices that have been with me my whole life. They manifest themselves in my moods, anxious concerns, etc. Fear of what others think of me is something that I have been working on my whole life, yet the struggle continues. It is not a matter of simply choosing, but the continued practice of not believing all that I find myself expressing to myself.
To embrace the idea that I am worthy, and the beloved of God is also difficult for me. So, I often make an act of faith even though the emotional rejection of such a thought is still there. It is the goad that keeps me seeking deeper inner freedom. The road to inner freedom is a struggle against the often-unrecognized self-hatred that dwells in my soul.
Love of self is essential, we are commanded to love ourselves for a good reason, there is much that we find in ourselves as we mature in our walk of faith that challenges us to deepen our faith in the love and acceptance of God.
Jesus came to save us from ourselves, not from God. God is not the problem, we are. It is a long road to inner freedom that grows everyday when we understand that our negative, hateful, and angry thoughts and emotions come from a place of immaturity and pain. Being rooted in Jesus in God’s love allows us to see ourselves and still open up our hearts to the only source that can heal us at our soul level.
All human beings are the beloved of God, Jesus identifies with those we consider the least, and it is there that we find the Lord and healing. For in the least, we truly see ourselves, the self that we hate.-Br.MD
