Dealing With Life (Part 1)

[Mark Dohle]

Dealing with life
(Part 1)​

In dealing with the question “how do I react, interact with others”, it is not so much based on a technique, but on a habit of mind, of being aware, and yes with an understanding of what we are here for as well as what our lives or about. How we answer those questions will go a long way in what skills we give precedents to in our interactions with others.

Perspectives clash, it is easy to misunderstand where someone else is coming from and the further away each perspective is, the harder it may be for some form of deep understanding to emerge. This points out the problem that we as humans often face, and may even ask ourselves; is it possible to find a language that can bridge the gap? Or maybe, is it possible to set aside ‘personal infallibility’ so as to actually listen? On my bad days, I will say “no”. All we have to do is to look at the political scene to see how hard this is, if not impossible.


We can be carried along by our culture, our faith traditions, etc, without much thought. This is ok until one has an experience of another worldview. The deeper we are carried by our own understanding, the more rigid we can come across to others. So when world views collide, the reaction is often harsh, off-putting, and leads to further social alienation. The so-called debate between ‘atheist’ and ‘theist’ is a good case in point. Or even better, between liberals and conservatives…..it often seems more like children fighting in a sandbox than any intelligent exchange at all.

If the perspective that a person embraces is one of faith, I believe it is important that deep thought is needed to be given about one's own tradition, to know the history, the failures, and the contributions, as well as how things were done in the past have furthered the tragedy that is often present in human history. I believe that no group if it has been around for a while will come out clean or innocent. Our religious, family, and political structures don’t just drop out of the sky fully formed, no we form them, and they mirror our own inner struggles with chaos and evil….a mirror that is often ignored to our peril I believe. So no matter what group, religion, or political party you look at, there will be plenty of opportunities to attack the opposing religion, party, tribe, or race. We go through this every generation, with some progress being made, but it is two steps forward three steps backward kind of thing, or we just get stuck, going back and forth staying on the same merry go round.

The only way that this may be dealt with I believe, is on a personal level, not on a cultural level at all. The brain laundering that we are all subjected to on a regular basis is so strong, that it is naïve to expect that any of us, will actually be free of it, nor should we expect others to be. We use terms like brainwashed, narrow-minded, irrational, stupid, etc., for those outside our world view, tribe, cultural or religion, or deeply held philosophical beliefs. We judge ‘others’ by their worst, then turn around and judge our own group by ‘our’ best.

However, individuals usually don’t fit into neat categories, and the more we learn about others, the more we see this. It is there, when we actually listen, that we see that we are more the same than different, and in that change is possible. It cannot be imposed from above but has to be a ground-level process. All of us, I believe, no matter what our beliefs are, plant seeds into the hearts of others that take root, grow and bear fruit. So mindfulness in how we react to others who belong to other segments of our society is needed, for as unfair as it is, we do represent those with whom we identify-BrMD