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Day care

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hisbloodformysins

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In a couple weeks i'll be putting all three of my girls in day care pretty much most the week if not the whole week.. full time because i'm starting a new job, after the training is done i'll be able to drop it to part time day care.... but this is the first time i've ever had to put them in day care full time before and i'd been worried about it.

However, after being home for so many weeks now due to maternity leave I realize how boring it is for my girls here... realistically I can't entertain them and don't have a lot of structure through out the day, so my 4 year old either goes in her rooms and plays or watches t.v. my 16 month old gets bored and whiney too... she'll pull all her toys out and play then get tired of it. I feel bad, but I also have a new born that I'm tending to as well and truthfully i'm just as bored as they are.... I feel pressure to do something about it but am not motivated to.... I guess I don't have doable ideas of what to do so that contributes.

But I realized today that maybe a structured day care is what the girls need. They'll learn things (hopefully mostly good) there that they don't learn here and it will be good interaction for them and I can love on them all the more when they get home and I get home and it won't be so stressful.

So I guess I'm seeing it as beneficial and helpful.

I guess my question is to those who have put their kids in day care... how do you feel it's effected your family and relationship with your children?

HB
 
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BeanMak

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Oh wait, you were serious... Actually every age has its challenges and benefits.
You might well all enjoy each other much more with them in day care.
 
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hsmommyofmany

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i think if that is what works for you and your family then that is great. i perfer to stay home with my kids but i am also homeschooling so my situation is a bit different. my kids never get bored...when you have this many there is always something exciting going on . good luck with everything, i am sure your girls will enjoy themselves and learn a ton!!
 
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Stan53

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What Leanna said. I am totally confused as to what the post is all about. On one hand the lady is lamenting having to put the children in day care, then on the next she is lamenting that life for the kids may be too boring.
I guess is must be my male understanding.....
 
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hisbloodformysins

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Yes I think your right..... atleast about the enjoying eachother more... maybe... but I can see having them in day care and working full time having it's stresses as well. I guess there's stresses no matter what. But I'm wondering to myself about how I feel about the day care thing... and I guess posting it so people can discuss it how ever they want to discuss it. I guess I don't have any questions.... if anything I just want support (though I don't expect to get that 100% here...) Hmmm, I guess if I had a question about it it'd be..... how has day care effected your relationship with your children (for parents that put their's in).

Maybe I'll start another thread.

Thanks for your response

HB
 
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hisbloodformysins

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I think people that have the ability to enjoy their kids (most the time..) and are patient and are generally good parents are well, good parents, and I feel bad that I'm not that way. I guess I get too stressed with life and parenting... so much that I end up being short on patience, yelling, and well just want/need my space. I pray about that and try to do something about it on a daily basis because I often feel like I really fail as a mom. Some days are better then others. Thanks, I hope that they do enjoy it! That is my hope! And I bet they probably will because there will be more for them to do.

HB
 
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hisbloodformysins

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You do understand correctly.... where the "male" part comes is is not knowing what to do about/with it. This is where males seem to get confused.

Thanks for your post


HB
 
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hisbloodformysins

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Orville said:
Why did you have children?
Click to expand...

I'll answer your question with a comment....

Because you see, I expect judgemental attitudes like this. If you/someone has children and you don't have many complaints, then great! If you are a good parent, even better! However, just because people chose to have children and then difficulties with it doesn't mean that they shouldn't have had children. That is my opinion anyways. I'm sure some others would agree.

HB
 
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Orville

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Actually it's a serious question. Puppies are cute too, but they grow up and are a big responsibility.

If you had kids because you felt like you should, or thought it would be neat, then by all means put the kids in daycare because it sounds like you are uninterested in caring for them yourself. Why have multiple children to give them over to someone else to raise? I never understood that, except in cases of true hardship.
 
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hisbloodformysins

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Well Orville, obviously you have strong feelings on the subject and feel like putting kids in day care means the parents don't want to take care of the kids.... that's fine... you can have your opinion.

However, I did not ask if people approve of me putting the kids in day care... and actually, that's why I went ahead and addressed the post to people who have put their kids in day care... in order to avoid the mean comments of people who feel the same way as you.... although I still expect to get a comment or two here because that's the way it is here... some people just want to speak their opposing opinions anyways instead of respectfully keeping them to themselves.

I'm sorry, but I don't really feel it's called for for me to explain why I had kids to you. Atleast not in this thread. Now I believe that this may be a legitament question that have and if you want to research that go for it. But I'm not going to explain myself in this thread, because I just feel judged by you in this thread.

HB
 
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Orville

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Perhaps my reaction to your words was a bit abrasive, so let me try this-

There is no one, anywhere in the world capable of giving your children what you can as their mother. Unless you are headed toward financial ruin by not going back to work, I would offer you should stay with your kids at home. If you or your kids are bored, then find something fun to do with them. I was never bored when I was little. I had my siblings, and of course my mom who always made it clear to all of us that we were loved, unconditionally, and with real joy from her.

Maybe it would help if you stepped back and thought about your life as a child. Think about what was great and not so great and see if there is something to be gained through introspection.

I'm simply trying to advocate for you kids. They want mom. They want mom to want to be there in her heart too.

Take care.
 
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GolfingMom

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Hisbloodformysins -

If you and your DH feel the best for your children right now is daycare - go for it. I'm not a fan of daycare and never understood the need for it (sorry for those who use it) until I caught a tidbit of a show (Dr. Phil - flipping channels) where the mom was SO STRESSED that she was doing more damage by yelling, tearing down her children than she would have if she put them in daycare. Dr. Phil actually suggested her going back to work and putting her kids in day care.


If you're overwhelmed and you know your children would do better in daycare - go.

I prefer seeing children in daycare where they are challenged, have things to do and play then seeing children at home where they sit in front of the TV all day. But that's me and MHO.
 
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Leanna

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I agree too and I am also anti-daycare. However, if you are open to other ideas about how to improve the situation so you can keep them at home let me know. I am keeping my kids at home and then homeschooling too.
 
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Neenie1

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