Daughters diagnosis

[Emily Seaman]

Hi there,
As some of you may know I am relatively new to CF, and whilst I do identify as Christian, I have spent much of my life skirting around the edges, either on or off the fence so to speak. Recent events have brought me back to the Lord.

My youngest daughter (2) has been diagnosed as Autistic and this has led to questions around my son (3) being autistic too. Despite knowing something wasn't quite right I have taken the diagnosis quite badly which has led mean to feel very guilty as it isn't me with the condition and I shouldn't feel this way.
It is important to add that prior to this diagnosis, and I still am my husbands carer as he suffers from severe depression, severe OCD and anxiety.

I have always been the strong parent that could deal with anything and now I feel so powerless. I have taken these feelings to the Lord and have read scripture and I feel like I am coming up empty handed.

I want to be strong for my children and my husband but I feel very weak. My eldest daughter (7) is, for want of a better word, normal but doesn't understand the issues we are facing and consequently is feeling very isolated.

How do I say a strong parent, care for all my families needs while I feel so bad?
I know some people may read this and think I am being selfish and for those people I would like to say that I am the main care giver, breadwinner, and do all the chores too as my partner is often incapable of these things. I live for my family and this is breaking me but I also feel like I need the Lord so badly right now but can't feel his presence in my life.

 

[faroukfarouk]

Hi there,
As some of you may know I am relatively new to CF, and whilst I do identify as Christian, I have spent much of my life skirting around the edges, either on or off the fence so to speak. Recent events have brought me back to the Lord.

My youngest daughter (2) has been diagnosed as Autistic and this has led to questions around my son (3) being autistic too. Despite knowing something wasn't quite right I have taken the diagnosis quite badly which has led mean to feel very guilty as it isn't me with the condition and I shouldn't feel this way.
It is important to add that prior to this diagnosis, and I still am my husbands carer as he suffers from severe depression, severe OCD and anxiety.

I have always been the strong parent that could deal with anything and now I feel so powerless. I have taken these feelings to the Lord and have read scripture and I feel like I am coming up empty handed.

I want to be strong for my children and my husband but I feel very weak. My eldest daughter (7) is, for want of a better word, normal but doesn't understand the issues we are facing and consequently is feeling very isolated.

How do I say a strong parent, care for all my families needs while I feel so bad?
I know some people may read this and think I am being selfish and for those people I would like to say that I am the main care giver, breadwinner, and do all the chores too as my partner is often incapable of these things. I live for my family and this is breaking me but I also feel like I need the Lord so badly right now but can't feel his presence in my life.

There are many levels of support. Physical, medical, practical, spiritual.

Re. spiritual, daily prayer and Bible reading is so important and essential. Philippians 2, about the Lord Jesus Who was obedient unto death, and Hebrews 4, about the believer's Great High Priest, Who sympathizes with our condition, sin apart (Hebrews 4.15), are great passages for the believer.

 

[Emily Seaman]

Thank you. I do set aside time for daily reading and prayer but it has been very undirected I just open my Bible and read. I will read these passages. Again thank you x

 

[faroukfarouk]

Thank you. I do set aside time for daily reading and prayer but it has been very undirected I just open my Bible and read. I will read these passages. Again thank you x

You're most welcome; and if dh can read the Bible and pray with you, this can be great also; plus meeting with a company of likeminded Christians also.

 

[LaSorcia]

I am so sorry for your struggles and challenges. I pray God holds you up and provides peace and healing.

You are not being selfish at all. Far from it. I have discovered a VERY important lesson in life: you cannot take care of others unless you take care of yourself. Just like on an airplane, if there is a problem, they advise putting an oxygen mask on yourself before you help someone else.

I take 2 hours a week just for myself at the spa, which revitalizes me so much. I am then a better wife and parent. I usually pray the whole time I am there, so it revitalizes me in spirit as well.

What do you like to do? What would relax you? My guess is, you probably haven't thought about that in a long time, with all of your responsibilities. Please do so!

 

[faroukfarouk]

Hi there,
As some of you may know I am relatively new to CF, and whilst I do identify as Christian, I have spent much of my life skirting around the edges, either on or off the fence so to speak. Recent events have brought me back to the Lord.

My youngest daughter (2) has been diagnosed as Autistic and this has led to questions around my son (3) being autistic too. Despite knowing something wasn't quite right I have taken the diagnosis quite badly which has led mean to feel very guilty as it isn't me with the condition and I shouldn't feel this way.
It is important to add that prior to this diagnosis, and I still am my husbands carer as he suffers from severe depression, severe OCD and anxiety.

I have always been the strong parent that could deal with anything and now I feel so powerless. I have taken these feelings to the Lord and have read scripture and I feel like I am coming up empty handed.

I want to be strong for my children and my husband but I feel very weak. My eldest daughter (7) is, for want of a better word, normal but doesn't understand the issues we are facing and consequently is feeling very isolated.

How do I say a strong parent, care for all my families needs while I feel so bad?
I know some people may read this and think I am being selfish and for those people I would like to say that I am the main care giver, breadwinner, and do all the chores too as my partner is often incapable of these things. I live for my family and this is breaking me but I also feel like I need the Lord so badly right now but can't feel his presence in my life.

PS: Do you smoke? I started a thread (as well as the ones posted to your profile) on quitting smoking. A lot of people do smoke as a stress reliever, but it really is worth it to quit. Blessings.

 

[Emily Seaman]

Unfortunately I do. It is something I am working on. I have cut down considerably lately in an effort to stop.

 

[faroukfarouk]

Unfortunately I do. It is something I am working on. I have cut down considerably lately in an effort to stop.

Well, inhales feel nice, don't they?

but would you like me to post my quit smoking thread to your profile?

 

[Emily Seaman]

Please. I do need help with that

 

[faroukfarouk]

Please. I do need help with that

Posted it.
I can understand why you do it because of stress. It's really a matter of taking the long view of how much better it would be, rather than enjoying the short term relief from good inhales.

 

[St_Worm2]

Praying for you!

Do you have church, family, and friends you can turn to right now, because this is when you really need to ask for help if it's available. There may also be support to be found in the form of support groups for autism.

Can you afford to have someone from an organization like "Comfort Keepers" come in for a few hours a day (or a week) for awhile? They can help with almost anything from cleaning, to cooking, to shopping, to caring for the needs of your kids and/or husband. They are not nurses, but they can make sure that pills are taken (things like that).

Also, as much as you can, try to not look at the big picture all the time, just keep your mind on the next thing that needs to be done. A few Scripture verses that come to mind are these: Isaiah 40:31; Isaiah 41:10; Proverbs 3:5-6

Also, keep turning to the Lord in prayer. Tell Him how you feel and ask Him for help anytime you need to, but especially when you really feel the weight of the world on your shoulders.

Here are some quotes from missionary Elisabeth Elliot that might help too. I have a friend in another town who has similar problems to yours, and I sent these to her recently.

"Leave it all in the Hands that were wounded for you"

"The secret is Christ in me, not me in a different set of circumstances"

"Our vision is so limited we can hardly imagine a love that does not show itself in protection from suffering…. The love of God did not protect His own Son…. He will not necessarily protect us – not from anything it takes to make us like His Son."

"God has promised to supply all of our needs.What we don't have now we do not need now"
​

Please keep us updated as time allows, and trust in the Lord to see you through this very difficult time.

Blessings to you in Christ,
David

​

 

[faroukfarouk]

Unfortunately I do. It is something I am working on. ...

Have you tried vaping instead, as a way of quitting?

 

[SloriB]

Hello, this is a Follow-up bump. How have you been the last few months? You certainly have a lot going on and I wanted to wish you strength and ask how you were. Did you find any strategies that assisted in everything you have to face?