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Prayer Request Daughter was Deceived
- Thread starter Worriedmom1968
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mina
Brown Eyed girl
- Sep 26, 2003
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I'm no expert on marriage or biblical reasons to divorce. All I can tell you is what I would tell a friend or sister in the same situation, or what I would do in the same situation. Honestly, I would feel an obligation to stay and work on my marriage. I consider marriage vows and marriage to be a serious thing. Deception is a terrible thing, but it is a risk if you marry someone without fully getting to know them and their character and see how they act in various situations. If it were me, I would try to do everything I could to reconcile - individual counseling and counseling together. There comes a point I suppose when you have done all you can as one part of a marriage and if the other person doesn't or won't then......I suppose divorce happens. I think all your daughter can do right now is pray and seek unbiased Godly counsel- from her pastor or through a counseling service. If after a period of time, he won't do anything to save his marriage, change, or take responsibility then she can decide about the next steps. She also has to take responsibility for her own actions in this. It is not her fault that he lied to her and hid things, but a rush into marriage with someone you barely know can have consequences you have to deal with. Seperation is probably a good thing right now so she can get her own counseling and work through things.
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Albion
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- Dec 8, 2004
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My opinion FWIW, is that some of this may well constitute fraud, which would invalidate marriage vows. Not in court necessarily, but as far as the religious aspect is concerned if a divorce were to be sought.
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Yes, she is going to discuss this with an attorney because knowingly with-holding your ability to have children is grounds for annulment in our state.
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I also have Tourettes. It's a mild case now, but it was very severe when I was younger. Your post made me look back, and I don't think I told either of my 2 husbands that I had it before we were married, because I never think about it. I did tell them when I thought of it, but it was never a big deal. If your son in law is taking meds for it, it is probably a heavier case than I have, but it is a concern that he lied about it.
It sounds like he lies to cover up his inadequacies. Lots of people do that, and with such a short courtship, it's not surprising that your daughter didn't know. It takes time to really know someone's mind and how they handle difficult situations.
I would first encourage them to get counseling. He needs to feel that it's safe to show his vulnerabilities to her, and clearly he doesn't. Maybe he's lying to himself as well. A good counselor could flesh that out. This is not an unsolvable problem, and with the commitment of for better or worse, it's important to do whatever possible to salvage the marriage.
By the way, my son does not have Tourettes.
It sounds like he lies to cover up his inadequacies. Lots of people do that, and with such a short courtship, it's not surprising that your daughter didn't know. It takes time to really know someone's mind and how they handle difficult situations.
I would first encourage them to get counseling. He needs to feel that it's safe to show his vulnerabilities to her, and clearly he doesn't. Maybe he's lying to himself as well. A good counselor could flesh that out. This is not an unsolvable problem, and with the commitment of for better or worse, it's important to do whatever possible to salvage the marriage.
By the way, my son does not have Tourettes.
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He was fired for touching a patient inappropriately. She definitely has Biblical grounds to end her marriage.
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