Dating

Dating is a cultural thing.

As with all things we do culturally, we must harmonize our actions with the Word of God.

The word says to not lust, not have premarital relations, and stay away from temptation.

The word also says it is good to marry.

So what is one to do?

Define dating from the biblical viewpoint.


A date would be more in spending quality time with someone, avoiding temptation and temptuous activities, building a relationship that leads to friendship, that leads to engagement and finally marriage.

In a sense, dating someone should only be done and continued if you intend to marry that person. Otherwise you are dating someone else's future wife.

Basically, dating under Christian systems is only a thing that people should rightly do if they are betrothed. (taking the usual patterns of behaviour when dating)

Courting is a somewhat different matter.

Dating is a very sticky topic sometimes. It's certainly possible among Christians, but some people have chosen the courtship route, which is to be respected. Here's my 2 cents.

Christians should only date Other Chirstians. Dating's prep for marriage, and the Bible says not to be unequally yoked with nonbelievers. Date with a purpose, to get to know someone you think God might have possibilities for with you, NOT simply for the sake of having a bf/gf.

Even then, with other Christians, make sure you're both firmly grounded in your relationships with God before you start to pursue someone of the opposite sex. Pray together, read Scripture together, and SET Boundaries before anything happens. Real ones that you'll stick too-- "we won't be out alone together after ten at night" or "we will not go physically beyond a light kiss on the lips." and find an adult to hold you Accountable to your standards-- one of my guy friends was accountable to his mom and told her everything that went on during a date. There wouldn't be any hanky-panky then, would there? so make sure there's a lotta trust, between you and accountability adult, you and your date, and you and God, most importantly.

I also think groups are a great way to hang out if you're still getting to know each other-- small parties, or youth group events, etc. Easy to invite people to. Also, in terms of not judging by appearance---Well, appearance is probly the first thing that'll catch your eye, honestly. And that's ok, it's how we're wired. But I would never let that be your only basis for dating. TALK to them, find out if you share similar interests, see what kind of personality they've got. And, superimportant, watch how they interact with others. How do they treat your friends? is s/he only nice around you? How does s/he treat his little brother, her mom, and YOUR mom? That will tell you a lot about people.

Keep your focus on God and each other, not on things that're physical. It's an easy trap that will leave you wanting more touching instead of more sparkling conversation.