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Dating: the proactive approach vs waiting for God

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Luis67

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GQ Chris said:
How many people can honestly say to themselves that they have the majority of their life together and are really ready to settle down? If your answer to yourself is yes, then congratulations.
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It's not about having your life together, but what you believe and you acting from your faith, everything else falls into place.

I could look at my finances all day long, mope and grope, think no woman will want me for the lack of or misuse and it not change a thing. But correct my way of thinking in my spending and stewardship of the use of money. And bit by bit my money situation gets better. Wisdom, hope and understanding always brings about change. Thank God for Christ and his faith!!!
 
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IreneAdler

more binah in her finger than in your whole body
Oct 12, 2009
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Everything you have is God's anyway, and he can provide it or take it away at any moment, so while being responsible is what you should do, there should be no illusion that it will forever make you "safe" for life or "prepared" for marriage
 
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SullivanZ

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Mar 6, 2011
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If you want a mate, do all you can to find one. Like looking for a job, you don't sit back, say "I'm believing God" then do nothing. You get out there, send out resumes, tell people you're looking and hope for the best, while improving yourself in the meantime.

Too many Christians are lazy when it comes to searching for a mate and wind up alone. Then they blame God.
 
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DYOLF

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I will tell you my approach in a bit,I have a 100% record because I havent lost any.That's simply because I haven't tried.
 
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Im_A

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Ha, if that was true, I would have a girl by now. I have no problems leaving a girl hang dry, ie stop listening and stop calling if it isn't going anywhere. Then the opposite is true...meaning when I am super committed, good luck getting me to give up without an apocalyptic fight. To tell you the truth though, it takes her to do the same to me to get that point so its just two people repaying each other the same action back and forth because they simply don't like each other in that way or it takes me to make a mistake to go after someone I am someone, "Just in case".

But what can be said? Girls are fickle. They should know that about themselves. Guys are fickle. We should know that about ourselves. Both sexes need the chemicals in their brain to act and lead them in an unexplainable manner to be committed. No reason for anyone to change. I mean the way I see it, if you or anyone of us are constantly choosing women that reject you, take a look in the mirror to the women you are choosing to go after instead of expecting girls to change for you. Girls should do the same thing in my opinion if they are choosing guys that end up not calling and just hanging them dry.
 
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darktipper

Outside I look bad but inside is like candy :)
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My ex was like that. I would ask her out and at first she would accept but later on she asked me for favors but rejected me asking her out. Later on she then blamed me for not going out with her but she did not realize she said no so many times that I basically stopped calling her etc... which lead to me finding out that she was trying to get with another guy. We will not go in on the other woman I was talking to years before I met my ex. Lets just say I got cussed out for no reason at all. They were both church goers that I met outside of church. Both of them had fathers that left their mothers. One of the mothers was divorced like 2-3 times. I forgot.

@Luis67
I think that I am too kind. I now do better being single and alone for some odd reason. Maybe because I don't worry about days like valentines day or having to call for dates. I don't have to help her with car troubles anymore etc... I can get more sleep lol. From my parents experience they told me that the woman has to be a chaser too or else the relationship will not work. But what you see in society is a guy asking out a woman and it is like she sits and waits for the guy to call and other things but she does not go after the guy. Remember, the squeaky wheel gets the grease. The only way for a woman to get me is for her to club me over the head and drag me into the cave lol but then again I am wearing a helmet.
 
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