dating someone who has "different" beliefs

[coconut711]

I know you're not suppose to date a non Christian, but is it ok to date a Christian whose beliefs differ from yours. For example: Bob believes in a literal seven (24hr) days creation. Sue believes that the seven days it took God to create the universe was actually years and years (a slow formation.) Would it be ok for Bob and Sue (who are dating) to agree to disagree?

I believe if you're both Christians its ok, but what's your opinion?

 

[Aino]

Listen to your conscience is my opinion. If you feel bad about dating someone with a certain belief or you get a hunch that you have a hard time talking about God or reading the Bible together then it might be a bad sign. Some disagreemets are also harder to live with then others; I think the creation issue is one of the minor ones, but if you for example disagree on things influencing salvation or some otehr practical things, it might be more difficult. Also, you need to consider things like going to church. I think about all christians agree that a christian needs a church, but if a couple doesn't feel comfortable going to the same church then how are they supposed to have a healthy relationship or even think of getting married and having children?

 

[Sketcher]

Can they worship together, or not? That's the big question.

 

[UnamSanctam]

I know you're not suppose to date a non Christian, but is it ok to date a Christian whose beliefs differ from yours. For example: Bob believes in a literal seven (24hr) days creation. Sue believes that the seven days it took God to create the universe was actually years and years (a slow formation.) Would it be ok for Bob and Sue (who are dating) to agree to disagree?

I believe if you're both Christians its ok, but what's your opinion?

I wouldn't say that "you're not supposed to date a non Christian", per se. There is no law compelling Christians to ONLY marry within the faith. In fact, it is clear from the Scriptures that marriage and relationships outside of the faith was a relatively common occurrence.
Of course there are issues to consider! And THAT is something to be taken seriously. But no prohibition exists (except, if memory serves, in the case of widows)

As for your question: It really does depend on what the topic is! If someone came up to me and say "We have a really big problem....Jessica believes God created everything in 6 days, while I say that He did it in 6 million years", I'd look at them, mentally want to slap them, but simply telling them that it really isn't a big deal.
Now...if they disagreed on baptism, for instance, then there might be a problem. Say Jessica's a Lutheran and John is Pentecostal (or vice-versa). The difference THERE can be one that really will cause problems down the road.

 

[SharonL]

Learning and studying is the key. I married someon in another faith than mine - been married 53 years - we both try hard. It will do no good to argue - when you find something you disagree on - just say let's study and find the real truth. You can enjoy studying together and each of you will not be saying 'it's my way or the highway' - both keep an open mind and look for the truth.

 

[Socktastic]

Learning and studying is the key. I married someone in another faith than mine - been married 53 years - we both try hard. It will do no good to argue - when you find something you disagree on - just say let's study and find the real truth. You can enjoy studying together and each of you will not be saying 'it's my way or the highway' - both keep an open mind and look for the truth.

This, pretty much.

If you can not discuss the differences with each other and accept they are rooted in the same faith, then it's an issue. Most inter-denominational/belief differences are only as important as someone makes them. What it boils down to is whether these differences are more important than the person you're disagreeing with.

 

[MckDawg04]

It's not bad at all to date someone who has a different point of view from you.

Everyone is going to have different points of view and slightly varying beliefs regardless of the topic. It's always good to have a healthy discussion on things and learn how someone else thinks.

If you find an exact copy of yourself to date, then what would there be to talk about? Not much I imagine

 

[pinkputter]

I think it's important to agree on the basics. (Hopefully you know what these are, if not feel free to ask). I think the literalist vs. metaphoric views really depend on the person. It shouldn't hold you back, but if it does, you kind of have to cut your losses.

It's important to be able to agree to disagree.

Bec ALL marriages are FULL of differences of opinion. There would be no one married if that was the case. So if you can see the others' opinion, know where they are coming from, and they know where YOU are coming from, then you should be gold. It's when people start acting like they are the "better" Christian bec they hold "x" views, while you hold "y" views, where it can get in the way. At this point I would say it's not a helpful situation to be in for either of you. And no one is un-Christ like just bec they hold a different view, as long as it agrees with what Jesus and the Bible says.

It can be tricky, but it all works itself out in the end. And if it doesn't, it's not meant to be. Hope u find what ur looking for.

 

[NaturallyGone]

I wouldn't say that "you're not supposed to date a non Christian", per se. There is no law compelling Christians to ONLY marry within the faith. In fact, it is clear from the Scriptures that marriage and relationships outside of the faith was a relatively common occurrence.
Of course there are issues to consider! And THAT is something to be taken seriously. But no prohibition exists (except, if memory serves, in the case of widows)

As for your question: It really does depend on what the topic is! If someone came up to me and say "We have a really big problem....Jessica believes God created everything in 6 days, while I say that He did it in 6 million years", I'd look at them, mentally want to slap them, but simply telling them that it really isn't a big deal.
Now...if they disagreed on baptism, for instance, then there might be a problem. Say Jessica's a Lutheran and John is Pentecostal (or vice-versa). The difference THERE can be one that really will cause problems down the road.

Disagreement. The Bible says not to be "yoked together with non-believers". 2 Corinthians 6:14.

 

[UnamSanctam]

Disagreement. The Bible says not to be "yoked together with non-believers". 2 Corinthians 6:14.

You're free to disagree, but not to say "The Bible outlaws it!". Re-read 1 Corinthians.

 

[AndrewZinc]

You're free to disagree, but not to say "The Bible outlaws it!". Re-read 1 Corinthians.

The Bible definately does outlaw some things. Generally sin.

Whether going out with a non-Christian is a sin or not is up for debate, but “Everything is permissible”—but not everything is beneficial. (1 Corinthians 10:23)

I often think we try and do the bare minimum from what God teaches us, when really given his perfect and frightening holiness, we should err on the side of caution if in doubt.

I know it would be really dangerous and unwise for me to consider it.

 

[RobertMerton]

i would say its best to date someone at the same 'spiritual' level with you..

the verse 'do not be unequally yoked' could also mean a sunday christian, and one who goes to early morning pray services

 

[itlivesinthere]

I wouldn't say that "you're not supposed to date a non Christian", per se. There is no law compelling Christians to ONLY marry within the faith.

Sorry, but this is incorrect. 2 Corinthians 6:14 specifically states not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. You could argue that this only applies to friendships/acquaintances, but why only to the lesser of relationships and not the greater? God specifically wants us to marry others who acknowledge the deity of Christ and accept Him as their savior from sin. It is impossible for a husband and wife to also follow 1 Corinthians 11 and Ephesians 5 if at least one is not a believer.

And just because people married outside of their faith in the Bible does not mean it was the right thing to do. In fact, Israelites married outside of their faith and often were tempted to worship the false gods of their non-believing spouses.

 

[svitkona]

Abraham went to great lengths to make sure that Isaac married within the faith. Esau married outside the faith, to the great sorrow of his parents. The Bible has lots of references to people marrying outside the faith, and it normally doesn't end well. I'm not saying that it absolutely cannot work as far as the relationship itself goes, but I do believe that God has counseled us against it.

 

[EndlessSerenade]

I have a question to those who quote the yoked with unbelievers verse. That means then that I'm not allowed to talk to my own father simply because he's a non believer? I disagree with that verse in the sense that I don't see how it's a order that we are not allowed to be with non believers. I interpret it as a verse that simply says that non believers can be a bad influence but that does not mean you can't be with someone who is a non believer cause IF that was true then I should not be allowed to talk to my own father.

 

[William II]

I know that I definitely could NOT date a girl who was a creationist, unless she was extraordinarily hot. I'm big on tolerance, and I think I'd have a hard time being with someone who was full of hatred and ignorance. Or a fundamentalist.

 

[svitkona]

The verse about not being unequally yoked doesn't mean you can't talk to your dad at all. There's no problem with associating with people who believe differently than you do; it's even a good thing. Dating them is another thing, though.

 

[EndlessSerenade]

1Cr 7:12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.

1Cr 7:13And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.

1Cr 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

I realize this piece talks about marriage but I still think it's very much relevant because this passage deals with the concept of a relationship between a believer and a non believer. If the Bible was so against it then I do not see how this passage would be said in such a manner.

As for the yoked quote. You can't say that quote counts for one thing but then not for other, as I don't see any extra bits added to that very scripture piece that implies that dating and marriage is what is being referred to.

 

[AndrewZinc]

I know that I definitely could NOT date a girl who was a creationist, unless she was extraordinarily hot. I'm big on tolerance, and I think I'd have a hard time being with someone who was full of hatred and ignorance. Or a fundamentalist.

You could be described as intolerant of large sections of your brothers and sisters in Christ by the statement above. On the other hand, you are right in that you don't want to be mis-matched spiritually with a potential wife.

But "full of hatred and ignorance" is definately not what the Bible teaches, it teaches us to love each other and to be like Christ. You shouldn't tar every Christian who believes God created the world without evolution etc, or doesn't believe in compromising on certain issues with the same brush.

I realize this piece talks about marriage but I still think it's very much relevant because this passage deals with the concept of a relationship between a believer and a non believer. If the Bible was so against it then I do not see how this passage would be said in such a manner.

The verses you have quoted refer to those new believers in the early church who were already married. In my denomination, we also use it in our infant baptism services for couples where one of them is not a Christian.

It would be so easy for me to ask a non-Christian out but I know she would not spur me on towards Christ. Apart from that, how would I feel knowing my girlfriend/wife was going to hell if she didn't change? It is a highly risky thing to get into, although that doesn't stop God from using it for good in some cases.

 

[Sapphire Dragon]

Two Christians together are best. If you disagree over the small things, those are your unique traits, and evidence of free will. Cherish them and be content that you both believe in Jesus Christ, your Savior.

As for dating non Christians, it's possible. I believe God puts people into your life for a reason- you may be the one to truly convert them once they understand your beliefs. You may also be a catalyst for an encounter God has planned for them, and one of the only people they can talk to about it.