Dating Someone That Is Divorced

[jamesrwright3]

I am not sure if I am going down the right path at this time. I started dating someone that is divorced about 3 months ago. I didn't realize it until now, but I could be commiting adultery. Although her ex husband walked out on her, the marriage was not dissolved because he was unfaithful while they were together. Although he is not remarried, he is living with someone. Could that be the grounds needed to have a lawful divorce in the eyes of God since he started dating her and living with her before the divorce went through?

I am not sure what to do at this time. She has been born again, and has accepted Jesus as her savior. I am feeling guilty at this time. I may have been commiting adultery and did not realize it. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.

 

[Breetai]

He was unfaithful to her while they were still togather? Then he left her? They are divorced in God's eyes. Since it's not your former marriage, you wouldn't be the one commiting adultery, it would be her. Since her ex was unfaithful to her, she did not commit adultery.

 

[E-beth]

Adultery aside, 3 months is not a long time. She is probably not in the best state anyway, just coming out of such an ugly relationship. I would take it slow because after a person is divorced, they have to heal. And if she is anything like I was after I was divorced, she is looking for validation of her worth. She is probably very needy and quite vulnerable.

 

[E-beth]

BTW

Welcome to Christian Forums!!!

 

[SirKenin]

Yeah, I'm going to have to agree with both. My wife was unfaithful to me then left the home (for many reasons). I can remarry another without causing them to commit adultery. However, the other argument of only three months is valid too. There was no way I'd be in any shape to date that soon after my marriage dissolved. I was a mess.

 

[Breetai]

Ya, three months isn't long. Just use your best judgement and pray about it. Stop worrying that you're commiting adultery, because you're not. Although I wouldn't recommend sleeping with her unless you are married. But that's a whole different topic!

 

[jamesrwright3]

Thanks for all of your responses

The thing I was concerned about is the fact that although she was technically legally divorced, her marriage was not dissolved because of unfaithfulness. In the Bible, that is the only reason a marriage can be dissolved. If that is the case, is she still married in the eyes of God?

As far as 3 months goes, that is how long we have been dating. Her divorce was final well over a year ago, and before that she had been separated for about 2 years...

 

[Breetai]

I'm assuming that he's moved on. You said that he is living with someone. If that is true, then he has been unfaithful in the eyes of God, even if that was not the original reason for the divorce. They are for sure divorced in God's eyes.

 

[Silent Enigma]

Well, this is a tough issue to deal with. As it says in Matthew--

"He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."
(19:8,9)

I don't really know what to tell you.

If I were single, I would personally take pains to avoid getting emotionally attached to a woman who had been divorced, because of the verse above. And to me, whether the govt. cancels a marriage is irrelevant. The govt. is always changing its policies on this, and even what a marriage is. But God is unchanging.

What you do is between you and God.

 

[charligirl]

Was your girlfriend a christian when she got divorced, or has she been saved since?

 

[SirFei]

I put forth first that in my eyes divorce is not an option. However, it happens, and unfortunately in a great amount of marriages. In this case, a man, who has committed sexual immortality, has left a woman. The man has, at this point, committed adultry, but the woman has not. She is still clean in God's eyes, even if she had left him (as long as she has continued to follow God's outlines). God knows divorces happen, and even though He hates divorces (because in marriage, two become one flesh) he IS a forgiving and loving God. I believe God can still bless a relationship with her, but you must follow his guidelines like any other close relationship with the oppposite sex. Her last divorced occured because those guidelines were not followed.

If I was in your place, I would go and seek your pastor and ask him for guidance in this situation also.

 

[jamesrwright3]

She was saved at that time. The divorce was not her choice. Her and her husband were having problems, and he wanted to leave..and he did...and then he filed for divorce. They were separated for a short time before that happened...

He is now living with someone else as I indicated before. If he has done that, then I believe that would free her to date again?

And there are two children involved as well..both live with her...