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Dating someone on disability, but are they really?

ThisIsMe123

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There's some people I've met that though they are on disability, their disability isn't visible, esp. when you see them doing physical things. Gosh forbid some P.I. drives by that person's house and takes pictures showing proof of disability fraud.

I knew someone that was on military disability because he stubbed his toe. (or injured it rather).

There's one woman I know that's on disability for narcolepsy, and it's not the type of narcolepsy where you see in the movies they just collapse right in their bowl of soup at dinner, but the type where she just feels the need to go to sleep. Agreed not to have kids with her now-ex-husband because of this disability .

She did live with her parents for many years after her divorce.

I had asked her if she ever thought about working at home, do some kind of office related work...she said she cant even do that, because she never knows when the urge to sleep will sneak in.

Then one day, she decides to take on a work at home gig. Said something about the worst of her narcolepsy happens during the day, so she does the work at night.

Not sure how this would impact her disability check, but she did move in with a new boyfriend, so maybe she's relying on him for income but who knows.

I know another woman that's a self-employed body builder/personal trainer at home that's on disability for PTSD. I didn't know if you had PTSD you'd qualify for disability though.

Someone I just met, the same thing, doesn't work is on disability, but she chose to take on temporary work for a few days. Saw her dancing on a table.

The bottom line is, how many people are on disability that are really just milking the system? Esp. when you find them doing something they arent' suppose to be doing physically?

Have the qualifiers for disability changed over time? Can it include more than just physical?
 

public hermit

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The bottom line is, how many people are on disability that are really just milking the system

I think it depends on each case. Some disabilities are not visible and are legitimate. It's unfortunate, but some (many) do game the system. Perhaps it's hard to weed them out given the resources that are available? On the other side, I have known people who needed it and had a very difficult time getting it. It can be a lengthy process. I don't know the answer, but it would be very good if there were a way to ensure only those who need it get it.
 
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bèlla

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I would be more concerned about what they haven’t revealed than milking the system. People aren’t always forthcoming and sickness is an area where conditions are downplayed to minimize alarm. There’s a difference between the diagnosis and the reality of the condition.

You can tackle both by asking questions. What’s an average day for you? What do you like to do when you’re feeling well? How do you handle bad ones? What ways do you comfort yourself? How do you keep your spirits up?

Sickness has an averse affect on mental health and that’s usually where the cracks show. The best thing you can do is let them talk. The truth comes out every time.

They’re not going to tell you they feel like a loser or how often they minimize the problems to fit in. Or their coping mechanisms. They won’t admit the opportunities they’ve missed or how frequently they’re turned down. The majority want a foot in the door and a chance to show their worthiness.

I’ve encountered people with varying challenges. I befriended some, mentored others, and interacted with a few while single. All of them held something back. But the truth came out.

They admitted it during a low or stressful period, I figured it out, or the Lord told me. All of this goes back to character. When you know what you’re dealing with the rest falls in place. No one will tell you they’re gaming the system unless you’re shady too. But they’ll have related qualities that answer your question.

Some people don’t want to get well. Illness feeds related desires and dysfunctions. You have to listen carefully and reign in your response. Empathy is fine. But if you go too far you’ll ignore the warning signs. Be mindful of over eagerness. It’s part of the hook.
 
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DragonFox91

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Yes, disability is definitely more than just physical limitations now.
While I don't doubt milking the system goes on, I have a friend who didn't qualify b/c he had a job. So I'm surprised to hear someone self-employed qualifies for it. I guess I don't really understand qualifications for it at all.
 
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MehGuy

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I remember fighting with social justice warriors on tumblr back in the day, many said they were on disability. Personally, I think we should be more investigative with who receives disability and who doesn't. I don't like the idea of someone who is massively overweight whining about gender while a veteran who fought for this country is rotting out on the streets.
 
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