"Dating" help please

[hannahchick]

Hi,

I've moved to a new town and have been going to a new church. I've settled into the group of Christian youths. I'm a born again Christian and I really want to be obedient to God. I've taken an interest in another Christian guy who's 24 years old this year (6 years older than me). I've been prayerfully considering the possiblility of dating him in the interest of finding a husband.

Now, I'm looking at something we could do together in the hope of:
- Finding out more about him (e.g. + and -)
- Giving him the impression that I might be interested in dating him
- Not creating any awkwardness in case neither of us want to pursue a relationship

Ok, I hope that I haven't confused anyone! To achieve these things, I was thinking of perhaps inviting him to go to church with me on Sunday night. Should I invite someone else too? Or, I could invite him to go rock-climbing or something else fun because he's an adventurous person as am I.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! If you have any questions, just ask

Thanks,
hannahchick

 

[TheDag]

generally if you want to find out more I think the group approach is best. So get a group together and go rock climbing or something else.

The whole not creating awkwardness can be difficult as it depends on how the individual responds. For some it wouldn't be a problem and they would be happy to be friends and I know some who have made it a problem. Sometimes there is social pressure as in some people believe one should not be friends with an ex (slightly different situation your in I know) so even though they would like to remain friends they don't because of pressure from others.

One final comment. Remember if you do decide to give an impression that you would be interested in dating him remember it is tough for guys to ask someone out. My wife and I always joke about after we first met because even though we had been kissing for a while I was still wondering if she liked me (yeah I know some guys really need it spelt out to them!) So try not to be too subtle that he misses the hint but don't feel you need to go over the top.

 

[MikePantelides]

You can straight out tell him you like him or you can ask him if he wants to go get a coffee or something some time and chat and take it naturally from there. Rock climbing sounds like a cool idea for a date but it'll be an obvious we're on a date here...with the coffee you can fall back on the excuse it was friendly if you want to save your blushes lol. If you like him enough go for it. He'll probably be chuffed someone likes him.

 

[jparks]

Both church and rock-climbing sound really good - I would definitely include other people, if that's possible. It makes things a lot less date-y right at the start, which I always found to be a good thing. Strangely enough, it's sometimes easier to really get to know someone in a group setting than just one on one. (Assuming the group's made up of friendly folks with similar values.) I hope things go really well for you.

By the way, the first time I ever went rock climbing was in Brisbane (I noticed you're in Australia) .