Hello
Just like to say I have spent a good part of my morning reading through many posts in the life stages area... I really appreciate some of the godly advice that has been given to people in different situations, so I was hoping for some in mine.
I'll start from the beginning. I first met the man I am interested in 7 months ago. I'll call him Mr C. Now, Mr C was NOT a believer and I had no initial romantic interest in him because of this. I was 18 (am 19 now) and he is 27. Despite the age I difference (and perhaps because of it) we got along extremely well. We met at a political student meeting, which was held in my hometown.
We developed a friendship, debating for hours about different matters, encouraging each other with our studies . . . but never actually seeing each other as he lives 3 hours away.
Now, Mr C decided he had fallen in love with me and wanted to marry me (!)
Of course, I said no. When questioned why, I gave him my reasons:
1. Bringing up kids for me means bringing them up christian
2. It's important to me that my life partner is going to heaven
3. serving the Lord together etc.
He asked if I would accept a compromise (since he stated that he could NOT become a christian as that would be intellectual dishonesty...something he takes very seriously, fyi, I never asked him to become one)
he proposed that
1. I could teach the kids about religion all I liked
2. He would go to church with me
3. He would pay tithe if I insisted (he saw it as club membership)
Again, I said no. Compromise on something so vital never turned out well for any christian I know!
This really piqued his interest. He said he had never met someone who seemed so logical and rational, yet believed such (to him) logical and irrational things.
So I told him, I could not convert him, neither would i try to, but if he wanted to listen I could lay out my rational reasons for the hope that I had. He agreed, but again warned me that "I could never see myself as a christian".
Using Josh McDowell, C.S Lewis, Answers in Genesis and many other resources I showed him why my faith was indeed logical.
It took a few months... and during that time I foolishly fell in love with him. I tried to control this however, so that he would not feel emotionally pressured by me into a half-pie conversion.
I was not perfect by any means, but somehow God managed to get through to Mr C, and he did indeed accept Jesus Christ as his Lord and Saviour.
I do believe it was genuine for several reasons
1. Mr C told his non-believing friends and family who were highly critical and mocked him, yet he answered them with love and respect and never backed away from his faith
2. Mr C had gone through the process intellectually, and despite being a materialist until recently had a "spiritual" experiance that both suprised and delighted him
3. I have seen a change in his behaviour. He no longer drinks, uses any form of sexual joking behaviour, uses Gods name in vain (something that used to be regular in his speech...habit), now finds T.V he used to enjoy distasteful, goes to a church near his home and visits the pastor for 2 hours every week for mentoring...has told me excitedly about praying to God whenever he wants to and knowing that He hears him etc...
Mr C is stable financially, is compassionate, intelligent, mature in many ways, loves his mother and has forgiven his father (father left his mum for another woman) and he wants the same things out of life as I do; namely children, homechooling (wanted this before becoming a christian) a healthy marriage and he wants to one day serve the country politically. (He is atm a Chef).
Now I have told him I will not agree to be in a relationship with him formally, until he has met my parents and they have gotten to know him. I am well aware that at my young age I may miss things in his character that others may well see.
He most readily agreed, and is planning to move to my hometown at the end of this year.
At the very, very least I would not consider actually marrying him until about the end of 2011.
My question is; is it ok to date some on who has only recently (in the past six months) become a christian, or should I wait two or three (or even more) years until he "matures"?
Just like to say I have spent a good part of my morning reading through many posts in the life stages area... I really appreciate some of the godly advice that has been given to people in different situations, so I was hoping for some in mine.
I'll start from the beginning. I first met the man I am interested in 7 months ago. I'll call him Mr C. Now, Mr C was NOT a believer and I had no initial romantic interest in him because of this. I was 18 (am 19 now) and he is 27. Despite the age I difference (and perhaps because of it) we got along extremely well. We met at a political student meeting, which was held in my hometown.
We developed a friendship, debating for hours about different matters, encouraging each other with our studies . . . but never actually seeing each other as he lives 3 hours away.
Now, Mr C decided he had fallen in love with me and wanted to marry me (!)
Of course, I said no. When questioned why, I gave him my reasons:
1. Bringing up kids for me means bringing them up christian
2. It's important to me that my life partner is going to heaven
3. serving the Lord together etc.
He asked if I would accept a compromise (since he stated that he could NOT become a christian as that would be intellectual dishonesty...something he takes very seriously, fyi, I never asked him to become one)
he proposed that
1. I could teach the kids about religion all I liked
2. He would go to church with me
3. He would pay tithe if I insisted (he saw it as club membership)
Again, I said no. Compromise on something so vital never turned out well for any christian I know!
This really piqued his interest. He said he had never met someone who seemed so logical and rational, yet believed such (to him) logical and irrational things.
So I told him, I could not convert him, neither would i try to, but if he wanted to listen I could lay out my rational reasons for the hope that I had. He agreed, but again warned me that "I could never see myself as a christian".
Using Josh McDowell, C.S Lewis, Answers in Genesis and many other resources I showed him why my faith was indeed logical.
It took a few months... and during that time I foolishly fell in love with him. I tried to control this however, so that he would not feel emotionally pressured by me into a half-pie conversion.
I was not perfect by any means, but somehow God managed to get through to Mr C, and he did indeed accept Jesus Christ as his Lord and Saviour.
I do believe it was genuine for several reasons
1. Mr C told his non-believing friends and family who were highly critical and mocked him, yet he answered them with love and respect and never backed away from his faith
2. Mr C had gone through the process intellectually, and despite being a materialist until recently had a "spiritual" experiance that both suprised and delighted him
3. I have seen a change in his behaviour. He no longer drinks, uses any form of sexual joking behaviour, uses Gods name in vain (something that used to be regular in his speech...habit), now finds T.V he used to enjoy distasteful, goes to a church near his home and visits the pastor for 2 hours every week for mentoring...has told me excitedly about praying to God whenever he wants to and knowing that He hears him etc...
Mr C is stable financially, is compassionate, intelligent, mature in many ways, loves his mother and has forgiven his father (father left his mum for another woman) and he wants the same things out of life as I do; namely children, homechooling (wanted this before becoming a christian) a healthy marriage and he wants to one day serve the country politically. (He is atm a Chef).
Now I have told him I will not agree to be in a relationship with him formally, until he has met my parents and they have gotten to know him. I am well aware that at my young age I may miss things in his character that others may well see.
He most readily agreed, and is planning to move to my hometown at the end of this year.
At the very, very least I would not consider actually marrying him until about the end of 2011.
My question is; is it ok to date some on who has only recently (in the past six months) become a christian, or should I wait two or three (or even more) years until he "matures"?
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), and it seems things are being set up between you two.
That's why I didn't respond.
