Let's say you've known a guy for about 5 years, and have been best friends with him for all of those 5 years. He lives in a different city, so through out high school it was rare you saw each other more than twice a year. Yet, the friendship was always strong. Now that school is done and over with, it has become easier for the two of you to see each other. Recently twice in a month, compared to twice in a year. He is planning on moving to your city in the near future, and the two of you have jokingly talked about dating and getting married. But both of you know you aren't really kidding you just don't want to admit it. What do you do next? Do you take the step and see if something could become of the relationship, or do you play safe and not risk losing an amazing friendship. What if you can't see yourself with anyone but that person, and you are stinking TERRIFIED with that feeling..
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date best friend?
- Thread starter girlofgrace727
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Onesimus85
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GO FOR IT!
I am speaking on personal experience here. My g/f and I have been best friends for years. She lives 2+ hours away and we rarely see each other. But I got the chance to see her twice in the past month. I have no idea how it happened but before I left her house the last time I was there, we were dating. We have become even better friends since. My friends here at school said that they noticed an immediate change in how happy I was. She is such a great woman of God. She encourages me in my faith and I encourage her in hers. We are both grounded in our faith so as we are growing closer to the Lord we are also growing closer to each other.
Pray about this decision. You may want to hang out as just friends until you are sure you can stand each other. I know with my g/f, if we lived closer we'd have a blast all the time. We liked each other so much that we didn't even joke of dating and when we would it would get silent. Before we started dating, both my parents and both of her parents had talked, (behind our backs I might add), about us getting married.. not dating... but married. When I came back from her house I talked to my mom and my mom asked me "I am any closer to a daughter-in-law?" I was shocked! When I told her that my gf and I had decided to go from best friends to a couple I think she was more excited than I was. My gf's parents were the same way.
You need to see what the Lord has for you in the future and see how you and your guy friend's paths look. Are they close or are they headed in opposite directions? You may find that by avoiding the question you'll slip right into a relationship with him. That's how it happened with me. I hope that everyhting works out for you!
I am speaking on personal experience here. My g/f and I have been best friends for years. She lives 2+ hours away and we rarely see each other. But I got the chance to see her twice in the past month. I have no idea how it happened but before I left her house the last time I was there, we were dating. We have become even better friends since. My friends here at school said that they noticed an immediate change in how happy I was. She is such a great woman of God. She encourages me in my faith and I encourage her in hers. We are both grounded in our faith so as we are growing closer to the Lord we are also growing closer to each other.
Pray about this decision. You may want to hang out as just friends until you are sure you can stand each other. I know with my g/f, if we lived closer we'd have a blast all the time. We liked each other so much that we didn't even joke of dating and when we would it would get silent. Before we started dating, both my parents and both of her parents had talked, (behind our backs I might add), about us getting married.. not dating... but married. When I came back from her house I talked to my mom and my mom asked me "I am any closer to a daughter-in-law?" I was shocked! When I told her that my gf and I had decided to go from best friends to a couple I think she was more excited than I was. My gf's parents were the same way.
You need to see what the Lord has for you in the future and see how you and your guy friend's paths look. Are they close or are they headed in opposite directions? You may find that by avoiding the question you'll slip right into a relationship with him. That's how it happened with me. I hope that everyhting works out for you!
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I saw a latter days saints commercial that said ''best friends make the best marriages''girlofgrace727 said:
I dont agree with much of what they teach otherwise, but this advice was most excellent
If you are truley best friends, then you are at an advantage right from the start. You already know this person...things many dont know when they marry or court.
Id say, give it a shot and keep the communication going strong
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LiberatedChick
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My husband and I were friends for 2 years before our relationship went further. I too was scared it'd all go wrong and ruin the friendship. But as Grishnak says you already have an advantage by starting off as friends.
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Pope Gonzo
Well-Known Member
In being best friends, you've already got an important element to marriage that, unfortunately, a lot of married couples do not have.
Pray about it, don't rush, but don't be afraid to lose the friendship. Be excited to gain the relationship
Pray about it, don't rush, but don't be afraid to lose the friendship. Be excited to gain the relationship
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halifaxhoney
Senior Veteran
I'm with everyone else, go for it! Friendship is probably the most important part of a relationship.
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AngylBelle
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Sorry if I am the only downer here...
Be careful if you do go for it. I had relationship in the past where we were best of friends, did the dating thing, it ended up not working out, and we to this day are struggling to stay friends. It is hard on both of us because we miss that connection we used to have with each other, and now, even though we have both moved on and are with other people, it gets awkward at times. Their sometimes is even a jealousy between us when it comes to dating others, sort of a "prior claim" type thing. We once picked a fight with each other (it was so stupid I barely remember what it was about!) just so we would have an excuse to stop talking!! Obviously the friendship is rooted deep enough that we "grew up" and tried other tactics. It is still hard, and we both miss what we had and know it probably will never be the same again. It's sad to lose a "best" friend, but love is about taking chances. Not all experiences turn out like that one.
I am currently in a relationship now, and have been for almost 2 years with a guy I have known almost my entire life, was friends with back then, but not really kinda thing, and after not seeing each other for five years, we met up, became "good" (not great/best) friends, and eventually it turned into more. Now he is my best friend...but that was developed throughout the relationship.
Follow what God puts on your heart. Just be cautious.
Be careful if you do go for it. I had relationship in the past where we were best of friends, did the dating thing, it ended up not working out, and we to this day are struggling to stay friends. It is hard on both of us because we miss that connection we used to have with each other, and now, even though we have both moved on and are with other people, it gets awkward at times. Their sometimes is even a jealousy between us when it comes to dating others, sort of a "prior claim" type thing. We once picked a fight with each other (it was so stupid I barely remember what it was about!) just so we would have an excuse to stop talking!! Obviously the friendship is rooted deep enough that we "grew up" and tried other tactics. It is still hard, and we both miss what we had and know it probably will never be the same again. It's sad to lose a "best" friend, but love is about taking chances. Not all experiences turn out like that one.
I am currently in a relationship now, and have been for almost 2 years with a guy I have known almost my entire life, was friends with back then, but not really kinda thing, and after not seeing each other for five years, we met up, became "good" (not great/best) friends, and eventually it turned into more. Now he is my best friend...but that was developed throughout the relationship.
Follow what God puts on your heart. Just be cautious.
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unjustwar
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girlofgrace727 said:
i used that excuse for about 5 months... with my best friend. we both were in love with each other but we never hooked up till a year later because we were afraid of losing what we had. go for it.. your relationship will be great since it is based off a great friendship... best of luck
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Well, I'd be careful what you say for one thing- call me weird but I think the guy oughta be calling the shots & leading out in a dating relationship. Like later on- which one of you will be the leader in your marriage if you lead out in the first place? I think you ought to do some major, serious praying that if it's God's will, God will lay it on HIS heart to do something about it. I say that out of experience!
But hey, if he does bring it up, definitely go for it!! It's been my dream ever since I was a little girl that the man I would marry would be my best friend... and it's coming true!
I also highly recommend it!!!!
But hey, if he does bring it up, definitely go for it!! It's been my dream ever since I was a little girl that the man I would marry would be my best friend... and it's coming true!
I also highly recommend it!!!!
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HelpingHand
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Happy birthday Girlofgrace!!! 
I have done this before...... I think you should go for it! But if ya'll get into lil fights, make sure and really hash through them.
I have done this before...... I think you should go for it! But if ya'll get into lil fights, make sure and really hash through them.
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lady_of_god
Well-Known Member
Happy birthday!!!!
....and i say, go for it! I hope to marry my best friend, i think those are one of the healthiest relationship, but that's just my 2 cents
You have nothing to lose, and if you never tried you would probably really REALLY regret it later.
-Lady
....and i say, go for it! I hope to marry my best friend, i think those are one of the healthiest relationship, but that's just my 2 cents
You have nothing to lose, and if you never tried you would probably really REALLY regret it later.
-Lady
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