Daily Reflections.....

[Dralan]

March 3

OVERCOMING SELF-WILL

So our troubles, we think, are basically of our
own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the
alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run
riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above
everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this
selfishness. We must, or it kills us!
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 62

For so many years my life revolved solely around
myself. I was consumed with self in all forms--
self-centeredness, self-pity, self-seeking, all
of which stemmed from pride. Today I have been
given the gift, through the Fellowship of Alcoholics
Anonymous, of practicing the Steps and Traditions
in my daily life, of my group and sponsor, and the
capacity--if I so choose--to put my pride aside in
all situations which arise in my life. Until I could
honestly look at myself and see that I was the problem
in many situations and react appropriately inside and
out; until I could discard my expectations and
understand that my serenity was directly proportional
to them, I could not experience serenity and sound
sobriety.

 

[Dralan]

March 4

WEEDING THE GARDEN
The essence of all growth is a willingness to make a
change for the better and then an unremitting
willingness to shoulder whatever responsibility this
entails.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 115

By the time I had reached Step Three I had been freed
of my dependence on alcohol, but bitter experience has
shown me that continuous sobriety requires continuous
effort. Every now and then I pause to take a good look
at my progress. More and more of my garden is weeded
each time I look, but each time I also find new weeds
sprouting where I thought I had made my final pass with
the blade. As I head back to get the newly sprouted
weed (it's easier when they are young), I take a moment
to admire how lush the growing vegetables and flowers
are, and my labors are rewarded. My sobriety grows and
bears fruit.

 

[Dralan]

March 5

A LIFELONG TASK

"But just how, in these circumstances, does a fellow 'take it easy?'
That's what I want to know."
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 26

I was never known for my patience. How many times have I asked,
"Why should I wait, when I can have it all right now?" Indeed, when
I was first presented the Twelve Steps, I was like the proverbial "kid
in a candy store." I couldn't wait to get to Step Twelve; it was surely
just a few months' work, or so I thought! I realize now that living
the Twelve Steps of A.A. is a lifelong undertaking.

 

[Dralan]

THE KEY IS WILLINGNESS

Once we have placed the key of willingness in the lock
and have the door ever so slightly open, we find that
we can always open it some more.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 35

The willingness to give up my pride and self-will to a
Power greater than myself has proved to be the only
ingredient absolutely necessary to solve all of my
problems today. Even the smallest amount of willingness,
if sincere, is sufficient to allow God to enter and
take control over my problem, pain, or obsession. My
level of comfort is in direct relation to the degree of
willingness I possess at any given moment to give up my
self-will, and allow God's will to be manifested in my
life. With the key of willingness, my worries and fears
are powerfully transformed into serenity.

 

[Dralan]

TODAY, IT'S MY CHOICE

. . . we invariably find that at some time in the past
we have made decisions based on self which later placed
us in a position to be hurt.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p.62

With the realization and acceptance that I had played a
part in the way my life had turned out came a dramatic
change in my outlook. It was at this point that the A.A.
program began to work for me. In the past I had always
blamed others, either God or other people, for my
circumstances. I never felt that I had a choice in
altering my life. My decisions had been based on fear,
pride, or ego. As a result, those decisions led me down
a path of self-destruction. Today I try to allow my God
to guide me on the road to sanity. I am responsible for
my action--or inaction--whatever the consequences
may be.

 

[Dralan]

THE KEYSTONE

He is the Father, and we are His children. Most good
ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of
the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to
freedom.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 62

A keystone is the wedge-shaped piece at the highest part
of an arch that locks the other pieces in place. The
"other pieces" are Steps One, Two, and Four through
Twelve. In one sense this sounds like Step Three is the
most important Step, that the other eleven depend on
the third for support. In reality however, Step Three
is just one of twelve. It is the keystone, but without
eleven other stones to build the base and the arms,
keystone or not, there will be no arch. Through working
of all Twelve Steps, I find that triumphant arch waiting
for me to pass through to another day of freedom.

 

[Dralan]

THE GOD IDEA

When we saw others solve their problems by a simple
reliance upon the Spirit of the Universe, we had to
stop doubting the power of God. Our ideas did not work.
But the God idea did.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 52

Like a blind man gradually being restored to sight, I
slowly groped my way to the Third Step. Having realized
that only a Power greater than myself could rescue me
from the hopeless abyss I was in, I knew that this was
a Power that I had to grasp, and that it would be my
anchor in the midst of a sea of woes. Even though my
faith at that time was minuscule, it was big enough to
make me see that it was time for me to discard my
reliance on my prideful ego and replace it with the
steadying strength that could only come from a Power
far greater than myself.

 

[Dralan]

MYSTERIOUS WAYS

. . . out of every season of grief or suffering, when
the hand of God seemed heavy or even unjust, new lessons
for living were learned, new resources of courage were
uncovered, and that finally, inescapably, the conviction
came that God does "move in a mysterious way His wonders
to perform."
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 105

After losing my career, family and health, I remained
unconvinced that my way of life needed a second look.
My drinking and other drug use were killing me, but I
had never met a recovering person or an A.A. member. I
thought I was destined to die alone and that I deserved
it. At the peak of my despair, my infant son became
critically ill with a rare disease. Doctors' efforts
to help him proved useless. I redoubled my efforts to
block my feelings, but now the alcohol had stopped
working. I was left staring into God's eyes, begging
for help. My introduction to A.A. came within days,
through an odd series of coincidences, and I have
remained sober ever since. My son lived and his
disease is in remission. The entire episode convinced
me of my powerlessness and the unmanageability of my
life. Today my son and I thank God for his
intervention.

 

[Dralan]

REAL INDEPENDENCE

The more we become willing to depend upon a Higher Power,
the more independent we actually are.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 36

I start with a little willingness to trust God and He
causes that willingness to grow. The more willingness I
have, the more trust I gain, and the more trust I gain,
the more willingness I have. My dependence on God grows
as my trust in Him grows. Before I became willing, I
depended on myself for all my needs and I was restricted
by my incompleteness. Through my willingness to depend
upon my Higher Power, whom I choose to call God, all
my needs are provided for by Someone Who knows me
better than I know myself - even the needs I may not
realize, as well as the ones yet to come, bring me to be
myself and to help me fill the need in someone else that
only I am meant to fill. There never will be another
exactly like me. And that is real independence.

 

[Dralan]

PRAYER: IT WORKS

It has been well said that "almost the only scoffers at prayer are those
who never tried it enough."
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 97

Having grown up in an agnostic household, I felt somewhat foolish
when I first tried praying. I knew there was a Higher Power working
in my life -- how else was I staying sober? -- but I certainly wasn't
convinced he/she/it wanted to hear my prayers. People who had what
I wanted said prayer was an important part of practicing the program,
so I persevered. With a commitment to daily prayer, I was amazed
to find myself becoming more serene and comfortable with my place in the
world. In other words, life became easier and less of a struggle. I'm still
not sure who, or what, listens to my prayers, but I'd never stop saying them
for the simple reason that they work

 

[Dralan]

MATERIAL AND SPIRITUAL WELL-BEING

Fear... of economic insecurity will leave us.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84

Having fear reduced or eliminated and having economic
circumstances improve, are two different things. When
I was new in A.A., I had those two ideas confused. I
thought fear would leave me only when I started making
money. However, another line from the Big Book jumped
off the page one day when I was chewing on my financial
difficulties: "For us, material well-being always
followed spiritual progress; it never preceded."(p. 127).
I suddenly understood that this promise was a guarantee.
I saw that it put priorities in the correct order, that
spiritual progress would diminish that terrible fear of
being destitute, just as it diminished many other fears.
Today I try to use the talents God gave me to benefit
others. I've found that is what others valued all along.
I try to remember that I no longer work for myself. I
only get the use of the wealth God created, I never have
"owned" it. My life's purpose is much clearer when I just
work to help, not to possess.

 

[Dralan]

NO MORE STRUGGLE

And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone --
even alcohol.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84

When A.A. found me, I thought I was in for a struggle,
and that A.A. might provide the strength I needed to
beat alcohol. Victorious in that fight, who knows what
other battles I could win. I would need to be strong,
though. All my previous experience with life provided
that. Today I do not have to struggle or exert my will.
If I take those Twelve Steps and let my Higher Power do
the real work, my alcohol problem disappears all by
itself. My living problems also cease to be struggles.
I just have to ask whether acceptance -- or change --
is required. It is not my will, but His, that needs
doing.

 

[Dralan]

A.A.'s FREEDOMS

We trust that we already know what our several freedoms
truly are; that no future generation of AAs will ever
feel compelled to limit them. Our AA freedoms create the
soil in which genuine love can grow. . . .
LANGUAGE OF THE HEART, p. 303

I craved freedom. First, freedom to drink; later, freedom
from drink. The A.A. program of recovery rests on a
foundation of free choice. There are no mandates, laws
or commandments. A.A.'s spiritual program, as outlined
in the Twelve Steps, and by which I am offered even
greater freedoms, is only suggested. I can take it or
leave it. Sponsorship is offered, not forced, and I
come and go as I will. It is these and other freedoms
that allow me to recapture the dignity that was crushed
by the burden of drink, and which is so dearly needed
to support an enduring sobriety.