Cyber Bullying

[bobross]

I have seen a lot of instances of online bullying on this forum in the 2.5 years I've been here. It's pretty sad that a website that bills itself as a "Christian" forum would have so many harsh and unfriendly members (and that's putting it nicely). The really surprising thing is that this cyber bullying is carried out mainly by adults, when traditional bullying is normally thought of as something that occurs amongst children. I can't speak for the teen section of the forum because I don't visit it, but I would imagine there is some that goes on there as well.

This problem seems to have reached an epidemic. Not just here at Christian Forums, but across the Internet. It seems like everyday I am seeing articles about it and its effects. It is so much easier for bullies now that they can anonymously hide behind a computer screen and type out their threats with almost zero repercussions. A lot of these people might even be people who would never dare be a bully in "real life". But they find their power in threatening and mocking others from the comfort of a computer chair in mom's basement.

Anybody have any thoughts on cyber bullying and what can be done to stop this epidemic? Have you seen any cases of this during your travels across the web? We live in an ever changing and quickly advancing technological world, and sadly I feel things like this are just going to get worse and worse unless measures are put in place to curb it. It's a very sad thing and hurts so many people and I feel like something has to be done to raise awareness and protect the victims of these malicious acts.

 

[blackribbon]

I think the best thing that can be done is to stand up against the bullies...but you have to be able to do it in a very calm rationale way because they feed off people who react emotionally. As annoying as it has been, I think we have mostly handled the bullies on this site (mature singles) fairly well but it doesn't translate to other areas. I was abused by a man or woman (never was quite sure) who was over 65 and claimed to be a minister....I guess it is ungodly/unChristian to EVER be naked or to ever see someone else naked. The part that bothers me the most is when they follow you to other areas and start posting on all of your threads in all areas ( I had that happen, too).

As a society, we are really good at turning our heads in both cyberspace as well as the real world, and "staying out of it"...or "I don't want to get involved in someone else's drama."

Honestly, I see a lot of real world adult bullying too...and most people allow it because they don't want to get involved so they are bullying by default and by allowing it to happen.

I went to a nursing conference yesterday and that same kind of attitude is often involved in medical mistakes...lack of courage when someone realizes that someone else is getting ready to make a mistake. It can be significant if it happens in the OR and no one is brave enough to say "I don't think you are preparing the correct leg for amputation."

We live in a culture of being "political correct" which teaches us to be afraid to stand up for what is right. Instead we only worry about our own butts.

 

[Elderado]

I have had to patrol this site all (staff edit) day to look for bully posts and defend my buddy's name. Good thing I just had my appendix out and have the time to do it. I hate this place.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I don't think there is any way to stop it. I have seen it alot on the web. Any article you read on the net that has comments always have people making the rudest obscene comments to anyone that does not agree with them and they usually don't agree with the article. And then you get the responders and wellah! you have the perfect recipe for the bully.

I personally believe for the most part, the best thing to do is to ignore them. They want a response. I can only imagine them sitting behind their little keyboard getting giddy with excitement when they get a reaction from their post.
I am not afraid to stand up for what I believe, but with the bully it's no different than dealing with a fool, which is basically thing. When dealing with a fool, it really does no good to try to reason or argue with them, although they would like nothing better. They don't listen, or allow you to have your opinion and they wouldn't dream of changing their opinion so it's wasted words and effort IMHO.

When someone is being a bully/fool the only thing they are after is getting a reaction and being right and usually they are neither.

 

[Elderado]

Some things you just can't ignore.

 

[blackribbon]

There is a difference from people just spouting idiotic or hateful things and when they target an individual. If no one says anything, the one being bullied starts to assume the bully has a point and others agree. If a person is being targeted, people MUST stand up for them.

 

[com7fy8]

I have seen a lot of instances of online bullying on this forum in the 2.5 years I've been here. It's pretty sad that a website that bills itself as a "Christian" forum would have so many harsh and unfriendly members (and that's putting it nicely).

You can use the "report" button. Of course, maybe you have; I don't know; and if you have, I do not know how effective that was. But if not, I suppose you can personally message an admin person. And you can contact the bully in private message and test how the person really responds. Not all are alike. So, I would not assume each "bully" is the same. So, you might contact someone and test the person. I know I have been clueless about how to love, and so I could find it entertaining to make another kid cry. But I missed out on love, by being able to do that.

The really surprising thing is that this cyber bullying is carried out mainly by adults, when traditional bullying is normally thought of as something that occurs amongst children.

"But evil men and impostors will grow worse and worse, deceiving and being deceived." (2 Timothy 3:13) Someone evil enough to bully as a kid can grow worse as one gets older, becoming an abuser of one's spouse or other cruel stuff. But the person is missing out on how to love; this is a major loss, too high a "price to pay".

This problem seems to have reached an epidemic.

all have sinned > sin is not epidemic, but pandemic > arguing is a form of bullying one another, being a bad example so our children do not know how to love because we do not feed them with an example of how to relate in love > Philippians 2:13-16. But this abuse of each other and our children is not getting much attention, for some strange "reason".

Not just here at Christian Forums, but across the Internet. It seems like everyday I am seeing articles about it and its effects. It is so much easier for bullies now that they can anonymously hide behind a computer screen and type out their threats with almost zero repercussions.

If they are allowed to get away with it, on the Net, likely they can also get away with it with real people. I can see that I have been bullied by a church leader > he could make himself seem very upstanding to others, but stuff could come my way. But he did go too far and ones nailed him. I just kept being his example of how to be in love and being gentle and humble with him > "nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3) And I did not give him any special attention, but along with others. And I did not beg him or try to negotiate with him or adjust in order to avoid him. I just kept on in prayer for my own correction lololololololol < yeah, right! I was not so great, myself!! It was easier to point at him.

A lot of these people might even be people who would never dare be a bully in "real life". But they find their power in threatening and mocking others from the comfort of a computer chair in mom's basement.

Missing out on love . . . having such evil character so they can not have a real love relationship. So, they are getting away with nothing!!

It's a very sad thing and hurts so many people and I feel like something has to be done to raise awareness and protect the victims of these malicious acts.

"And who is he who will harm you if you become followers of what is good?" (1 Peter 3:13)

So, if I trust in Jesus and do His will, I am safe

Waiting for Satanic people to be corrected and be good to me is not going to work.

You said something about bullies having the "comfort" of their downstairs places. They are missing out on love. They may think they are being smart, having their "secret" place. I thought I was being smart while I was a bully. I was a sucker who thought he was a swordfish!

 

[Doctor Strangelove]

I have had to patrol this site all damn day to look for bully posts and defend my buddy's name. Good thing I just had my appendix out and have the time to do it. I hate this place.

Are there any forums in particular that need watching? I know about the sporadic problems here that the Admins have kindly taken care of. But if there are particular places to check on, I would be happy to browse them when I have the time and if I find anything bad flag it for the Administrators to take care of - I'll not reply to anything hateful - I'll just let the Admins deal with it. I think that is the most constructive thing I can do. Some things have made me real angry so I can only imagine how you feel. Feel free to PM me with any info if you wish.

 

[dayhiker]

Well, if someone is too negative towards me I stop talking to them.
I also think there are ways to just not acknowledge their bulling.
The I recommend not take not taking tings too serious.

Other wise I let them have their opinion and am just glad that I'm smarter than they are. ... *silly grin* But it must be true cause they just keep posting that nonsense! lol

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

I've been teaching about this recently on my current contract. Ironically I was reading an article about a female director who use to work for Google who wants to raise awareness of this in order to tackle it further.

In the UK it can be deemed as illegal to persist in harassing someone online. The police over here offer some advice especially for younger people although any age is unacceptable.

The key thing is to stand up to it (report them, place them on ignore) and gather your evidence - any horrible pm's, posts, texts messages or pages. If it becomes threatening then you get the site owners involved as they will be able to track the offender via their IP address and take matters further with the police.

What ever you do, never feel as though you just have to put up with it.

 

[blackribbon]

Well, if someone is too negative towards me I stop talking to them.
I also think there are ways to just not acknowledge their bulling.
The I recommend not take not taking tings too serious.

Other wise I let them have their opinion and am just glad that I'm smarter than they are. ... *silly grin* But it must be true cause they just keep posting that nonsense! lol

The problem occurs when they start following you around online...and commenting on every thread you ever post on bringing in a single topic. And they don't tend to bully people who are strong in their self-worth but rather find a weak point or a weak person and pick on them.

I was annoyed when it happened to me but he stopped because I wasn't weak...at least in that area of my belief system...but there are a few subject areas that I probably could be bullied.

 

[dayhiker]

I've not had that happen to me, black ... but I can see that would be very hurtful.

 

[dayhiker]

I've seen this done when someone would send private posts that were bullying. They would post the message in the public space for all to see the type of person they are. I think that is brilliant.

 

[sedonarose]

I agree that if they are just ignored then they will stop bullying because it won't be satisfying anymore.

 

[iambren]

Some actual examples would help to know what we are talking about here. What I disagree with is if a sincere opinion is given and if it's outside the status quo some moderator thinks they are doing God's duty to delete it. THAT'S called censorship, not bullying.

"There is a difference from people just spouting idiotic or hateful things and when they target an individual. "

THIS is bullying where personal attacks are made and they follow them around to abuse them. That should be severely dealt with eg warning then suspension.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Well it is clear that Dan had this happen to him and I believe it contributed to his actions. I read some of the evil posts to him and I now have no doubt that they played a role in his thoughts on his final days. So sad. So inappropriate. At least I can learn from this, to be even more careful when responding to someone that might disagree with me or that I disagree with because I don't know exactly where they are coming from mentally.
IMHO, I think people are getting meaner by the minute. Never before in history have we heard of so many mothers killing their children, and women doing vile things to others and so many women and children are disappearing without a trace these days. I hope it means that Jesus will come back for us soon. There is no understanding evil people.

 

[Doctor Strangelove]

It is one thing for people who are on an equal footing and they disagree about something and they snap at each other. Maybe that isn't the most enlightening thing but, okay, whatever. It is another thing when someone stalks a person or if someone attacks a person who is vulnerable. If you see anything truly evil, I say report it. That might help protect a vulnerable person who is being abused.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I agree Dr.

 

[dayhiker]

I've not reported people in CF. But I have stood up for people who were being attacked on CF.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I have only reported people a few times. I don't report people just because I don't like what they said or who they are. I only report them if they are extremely rude and insensitive and causing drama