cutting

BeckaMarie · Oct 25, 2005

I've dealt with depression and suicidal thoughts my whole life. Recently I started cutting a lot. It used to be only occasional but now I feel a need for it. I cut last night. I get so many things going on inside and then I just cut. I don't think about what I am doing to myself. I just need the calming feeling, the release from emotional pain that the cutting gives. I feel really scared and alone. I never felt the need for something so bad before. I don't have anyone I can really open up and talk to. I did try to tell one friend and she seemed to ignore it. She hasn't mentioned it or even tried to talk about it.

bornagainkt · Oct 26, 2005

hey i struggle alot wif cutting. none of my friends understand. i used to only do it occasionally too but now its this huge battle ay. i cut everytime something goes wrong. its so hard ay. u can pm me or whatever if u ever wanna talk. we can stick together and help each other out! ill be praying k!

BeckaMarie · Oct 26, 2005

Thanks bornagainkt for responding to my post. I'll be praying for you too. And the same if you wanna talk, you can pm me as well.

SimplyUnique · Oct 26, 2005

i'm going through the same struggle, more cutting than suicidle. i find it easy that whenever i get the urge i put something soft in my hands and run it across my skin, or i'll say "thats my past I need to move forward in the future" it does help most of the time. or i'll think of someone who cares about me and think of how hurt they'd be if they found out that I cut

good luck! hope i helped some

BeckaMarie · Oct 26, 2005

Thanks SimplyUnique. I'll try that, maybe it will help.

julez · Oct 26, 2005

BeckaMarie said:
I've dealt with depression and suicidal thoughts my whole life. Recently I started cutting a lot. It used to be only occasional but now I feel a need for it. I cut last night. I get so many things going on inside and then I just cut. I don't think about what I am doing to myself. I just need the calming feeling, the release from emotional pain that the cutting gives. I feel really scared and alone. I never felt the need for something so bad before. I don't have anyone I can really open up and talk to. I did try to tell one friend and she seemed to ignore it. She hasn't mentioned it or even tried to talk about it.

listen...you are not alone for one. ive been here before...i didnt cut so often, as i cut deep....REALLY deep...in the end, people at school saw them and they got me even more wound up..i saw that if i cut..they hurt even more cos they have more to joke about.I struggled SO hard...but then i became christian..God does NOT want you to hurt your body, and he does NOT want anyone to hurt you on purpose. Pray for the people and things that hurt you instead of cutting, read the bible instead or just think about God and everything good he has done for you. Ive come thru this just by thinkin that and doin those things...but you are NOT alone...you have every person on CF and God. you are never alone.
if you EVER need to talk...im here xx

BeckaMarie · Oct 26, 2005

Thanks julez.

bornagainkt · Oct 27, 2005

BeckaMarie said:
Thanks bornagainkt for responding to my post. I'll be praying for you too. And the same if you wanna talk, you can pm me as well.

thanks so much too! take care of urself! and everyone else too!

julez · Oct 27, 2005

BeckaMarie said:
Thanks julez.

np...i know im only 15..but if u have a problem...please come to me...i think God wants me to help as many people possible with self harming, mayb thats why i did it...who knows but God? lol

penguin · Oct 27, 2005

Though I havent harmed at all for a good few months and havent damaged my skin for maybe 2 years. I do know and can remember the desparatation for feeling better to calm myself down. Maybe I'm wrong in saying this but i dont think someone telling you to stop is what you need to hear. As cutting is your way of coping right now. I would like to suggest however that you consider a les destructive form of self harm. It is still self harm but it is less destructive but as effective. The elastic band method. Pinging it hard on your wrist will give you that same calming felling . Giving you the pain you need for the endorphins in your brain to be realeased. I;m not promoting or advocating self harm merely wanting to help those already struggling with it. It was my psycologist who suggest it and even gave me an elastic band herself. Since then I have rarely cut and now I dont have the need for the elastic band method. I have been able to get to a point of handing it all to God, a place which I would want everyone to get to. I'm not going to preach though and say you must stop. You need to reach that point of letting go of it without condemnation. God bless you in or dispite your struggles. I want every one to know about this less distructive method which is still as effective
Penguin

BeckaMarie · Oct 28, 2005

Thanks Penguin, I will try the rubber band method. I hope it will help. I need the feeling I get from the cutting but then I hate myself for having had to do it. I hate having to see the healing wounds and scars from it and knowing I have to keep them covered so no one else will see or know.

Hollip05 · Oct 31, 2005

ive neva self harmed but ive had depression keep strong n u 'll get through it hun! i feel 4 u u need help n u need sum 1 2 tlk 2 feel free to PM me any time i will always tlk n help u! c ya hun luv Hollixxx

ChasingADream · Nov 28, 2005

BeckaMarie said:
I've dealt with depression and suicidal thoughts my whole life. Recently I started cutting a lot. It used to be only occasional but now I feel a need for it. I cut last night. I get so many things going on inside and then I just cut. I don't think about what I am doing to myself. I just need the calming feeling, the release from emotional pain that the cutting gives. I feel really scared and alone. I never felt the need for something so bad before. I don't have anyone I can really open up and talk to. I did try to tell one friend and she seemed to ignore it. She hasn't mentioned it or even tried to talk about it.

Hey, I just came across your post and it's kinda weird because I just posted elsewhere about it being a release. Just like you said. My friends that know about it are the same way. I think they just don't understand and therefore don't know how to offer support. That's why forums like this one are a good thing because they offer us a chance to talk to people who can speak from experience and you know that they understand where you're coming from. It also could be because it scares your friend to think of you hurting yourself and she doesn't know how to deal with it. They don't always understand that it's addictive and it won't just "go away" when you ignore it.

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