Custody trial next week

[bp88]

My youngest son has asked to live with me, so we're going to court next week. When he left my ex-wife's house to come visit for the summer, she knew about it and said she wasn't going to fight it, and has since painted his bedroom, packed up his stuff and sent it down to my house and set a date for her own wedding a year earlier than planned - she had always said she would wait to get remarried until all the kids had graduated, and the new wedding date is set right after his older sister's graduation next year. So, she has communicated to my son and his sister that she doesn't plan to contest it because she wants him to be happy, but just this week my lawyer got a letter from her lawyer saying that they'll settle if I agree to pay her a bunch of contested amounts from the past - most of which have already seen their day in court, and she absolutely refuses to pay me child support. If I don't agree and settle, she's going to request mental health evals of me, my wife, the kids, etc, which will kill the change of custody for several months, pushing it into the middle of the school year, which may in turn delay it all the way until next year.

My son has made it absolutely clear he's done with her, and doesn't want to live with her, and he wants to live with me. My lawyer agrees that all of her claims are spurious, and we're not settling. I just need prayer that the judge will listen to my son (he's 16, but the law in that jurisdiction doesn't automatically follow the wishes of the child regardless of age).

 

[Tropical Wilds]

I'd call her bluff and not settle. She set her wedding date and has him out the door. She has more to lose by you calling her bluff than her calling yours. When you have a manipulative ex unfortunately sometimes you have to play chicken like this.

Regardless, you're in my prayers.

 

[Tigger45]

Sounds like the real motive here is $$$!!! When my ex had custody if the child support was a day or two late my phone would be ringing but when I ended up winning custody I didn't see a dime. Anyway just tell her that she can either support her children and her lawyer or she can just support her children and if you just wait long enough for her lawyer bills to start showing up then reality will set in.

 

[bp88]

Which is what I did. I stressed and stressed, but went to court without settling, hoping the judge would see through it. Within 5 minutes of the pre-trial confernce (judge and lawyers only), the judge had told my ex's lawyer that if she wants to fight it, she can, but it would be stupid. Not only that, the money didn't come up because my lawyer reminded the judge that it wasn't before the court for this hearing, and the judge agreed. Privately my ex's lawyer told mine that if she does try to go after these claims later, it won't be with him. So even HE is tired of her games. Best part is, the judge DID add one thing not before the court - she has to make an honest good faith attempt to refinance her mortgage under her name only, to take my name off and get it off my credit report.

 

[bhsmte]

My youngest son has asked to live with me, so we're going to court next week. When he left my ex-wife's house to come visit for the summer, she knew about it and said she wasn't going to fight it, and has since painted his bedroom, packed up his stuff and sent it down to my house and set a date for her own wedding a year earlier than planned - she had always said she would wait to get remarried until all the kids had graduated, and the new wedding date is set right after his older sister's graduation next year. So, she has communicated to my son and his sister that she doesn't plan to contest it because she wants him to be happy, but just this week my lawyer got a letter from her lawyer saying that they'll settle if I agree to pay her a bunch of contested amounts from the past - most of which have already seen their day in court, and she absolutely refuses to pay me child support. If I don't agree and settle, she's going to request mental health evals of me, my wife, the kids, etc, which will kill the change of custody for several months, pushing it into the middle of the school year, which may in turn delay it all the way until next year.

My son has made it absolutely clear he's done with her, and doesn't want to live with her, and he wants to live with me. My lawyer agrees that all of her claims are spurious, and we're not settling. I just need prayer that the judge will listen to my son (he's 16, but the law in that jurisdiction doesn't automatically follow the wishes of the child regardless of age).

At 16 years old, the judge will weigh heavily what your son wants, much more so if he was younger. In fact, I would find it difficult the judge would go against your son's wishes unless there were other circumstances that changed this.

Did you have a custody evaluation done, because part of this process is a mental health evaluation for both parents.

 

[Hetta]

Which is what I did. I stressed and stressed, but went to court without settling, hoping the judge would see through it. Within 5 minutes of the pre-trial confernce (judge and lawyers only), the judge had told my ex's lawyer that if she wants to fight it, she can, but it would be stupid. Not only that, the money didn't come up because my lawyer reminded the judge that it wasn't before the court for this hearing, and the judge agreed. Privately my ex's lawyer told mine that if she does try to go after these claims later, it won't be with him. So even HE is tired of her games. Best part is, the judge DID add one thing not before the court - she has to make an honest good faith attempt to refinance her mortgage under her name only, to take my name off and get it off my credit report.

That is so awesome, and I'm really happy for you that the judge saw through your EW's machinations. Best of all, your son is with the parent who he wants to be with.

 

[pittsflyer]

Hopefully the judge scared her because if not there really is nothing to force her to change the mortgage. It is extremely rare for a judge to throw a woman in jail for more than a few night for contempt charges. If you dont have a ton of equity in the house I would let it go into forclosure as long as you dont live in a deficiency judgement state.

Some of this stuff keeps making sheria law look better and better lol.

My youngest son has asked to live with me, so we're going to court next week. When he left my ex-wife's house to come visit for the summer, she knew about it and said she wasn't going to fight it, and has since painted his bedroom, packed up his stuff and sent it down to my house and set a date for her own wedding a year earlier than planned - she had always said she would wait to get remarried until all the kids had graduated, and the new wedding date is set right after his older sister's graduation next year. So, she has communicated to my son and his sister that she doesn't plan to contest it because she wants him to be happy, but just this week my lawyer got a letter from her lawyer saying that they'll settle if I agree to pay her a bunch of contested amounts from the past - most of which have already seen their day in court, and she absolutely refuses to pay me child support. If I don't agree and settle, she's going to request mental health evals of me, my wife, the kids, etc, which will kill the change of custody for several months, pushing it into the middle of the school year, which may in turn delay it all the way until next year.

My son has made it absolutely clear he's done with her, and doesn't want to live with her, and he wants to live with me. My lawyer agrees that all of her claims are spurious, and we're not settling. I just need prayer that the judge will listen to my son (he's 16, but the law in that jurisdiction doesn't automatically follow the wishes of the child regardless of age).