Many of you drink milk every morning, and no doubt you've been told it came from a cow. But how can you be sure those really exist? I think it's a massive conspiracy by cowists, with the financial incentive of selling you milk. Big Milk of course tries to silence any critics. Of course, it is up to you, the cowists, to provide evidence since yours is the positive claim.
Now to address ahead of time the most common of the so called evidence (I call them "old canards"):
The milk: I'm not sure where the milk actually comes from, but I suspect it is from a factory of the same sort that makes American cheese. The whole cow thing is just a trick to make it seem more natural and healthy.
Photographic evidence: Everyone knows photos can be faked. All the x-ray pictures of cows are faked, but the normal pictures are usually the "real live" cows.
"Real live" cows: In fact, Big milk has made a robot coated in leather or something like leather. The models that are intended to be shown often have a built-in milk dispenser and milk warmer, to help further the myth that milk comes from these creatures. But not all of them do -- as you'll find out if you try to go milk the ones that aren't kept near the milk factory. As of yet, not one has allowed me to dissect one of their cows, so I can't really see for sure.
Of course, it's long been politically incorrect to question the existence of cows. Generally, questioning the existence of cows was simply met with ridicule, but more and more people are starting to question and we demand real proof. So, are any of you cowists going to respond? Those of you who aren't convinced are welcome to point out where their proofs are lacking.
Now to address ahead of time the most common of the so called evidence (I call them "old canards"):
The milk: I'm not sure where the milk actually comes from, but I suspect it is from a factory of the same sort that makes American cheese. The whole cow thing is just a trick to make it seem more natural and healthy.
Photographic evidence: Everyone knows photos can be faked. All the x-ray pictures of cows are faked, but the normal pictures are usually the "real live" cows.
"Real live" cows: In fact, Big milk has made a robot coated in leather or something like leather. The models that are intended to be shown often have a built-in milk dispenser and milk warmer, to help further the myth that milk comes from these creatures. But not all of them do -- as you'll find out if you try to go milk the ones that aren't kept near the milk factory. As of yet, not one has allowed me to dissect one of their cows, so I can't really see for sure.
Of course, it's long been politically incorrect to question the existence of cows. Generally, questioning the existence of cows was simply met with ridicule, but more and more people are starting to question and we demand real proof. So, are any of you cowists going to respond? Those of you who aren't convinced are welcome to point out where their proofs are lacking.
