Courting Vs. Dating?

[KingCrimson250]

I'm sure this has been asked loads of times but...

What is the difference between courting and dating? I know a few couples who claim to be "courting" but as far as I can tell it's identical to dating, only it's got a more pretentious name. I sometimes hear speakers who call young people to courting instead of dating, or whatever, but I've never actually heard anyone define courting and why it's so much Godlier than dating.

 

[explodingboy]

Essentially you are right, they're the same.

The only real difference is that the people courting claim to be looking for marriage, while dating covers a spectrum of reasons, depending on who is doing the dating.

 

[Windmill]

"Dating" technically means, you're going on dates with someone.

However, most people know that to mean that you're in a relationship with someone. You may or may not be looking towards marriage.

"Courting" technically means you're in a relationship with someone, and you're in it with the intent of seeing if you can get married.

However, it is often used to refer to a very conservative relationship, i.e. people who have no alone time before marriage like to call it "courting" instead of dating. Courting can involve everything dating does, including premarital sex if you like. What is does not ever involve, is being in a relationship purely for the sake of the relationship, but if people say they're "courting" instead of "dating", they are most likely using it to reference the fact their relationship is conservative. Not always though.

 

[KingCrimson250]

Okay, that's interesting. Thanks for the responses. I guess being at a Bible College where just about everybody is dating with the intentions of marriage the lines are a bit blurry.

 

[Windmill]

Well they are both dating and courting.

The two words overlap. Dating can mean courting and courting can mean dating.

Its very interchangeable, and the definition used for each is different person to person. Again, the words are used interchangeably.

It is best to not therefore focus on if you're "courting" or "dating" but rather focus on whether the relationship is going in the right place for you.

 

[KingCrimson250]

Okay, cool, thanks. It just confuses me when a few guys talk about how they and a girl are courting as though it were more spiritual than dating, which was baffling since they seemed identical to me

 

[Windmill]

In general society, they pretty much are.

Its a fallacy to use the word courting like it is somehow more spiritual than the word dating. I guess it makes them feel better, since they find the word dating probably to be "dirty".

 

[Luther073082]

Honestly I fail to see how the idea of courting is different from dating.

I tend to see it as part of the whole "Purity fad".

 

[JCFantasy23]

I never saw it as a difference but just as another name for the same thing.

 

[Windmill]

Honestly I fail to see how the idea of courting is different from dating.

I tend to see it as part of the whole "Purity fad".

LOL purity fad is so right!

 

[SiyoNqoba]

Well, historically, dating was essentially a discrete version of prostituion. The guy paid for the dinner, flowers, etc, and so expected sex in return.

 

[Windmill]

Well, historically, dating was essentially a discrete version of prostituion. The guy paid for the dinner, flowers, etc, and so expected sex in return.

Sources plz

Seriously, this is so not the case. I have no idea where you got your info from.

Dating is a very recent word and was historically just used to reference young people going out on dates, it was a social thing. It turned into meaning you're in a relationship.

 

[Luther073082]

Well, historically, dating was essentially a discrete version of prostituion. The guy paid for the dinner, flowers, etc, and so expected sex in return.

Umm thats not dating thats called a one night stand. Dating does not necessarily involve sex.

Wikipedia considers dating to be a part of courtship. (With courtship considered being the time between forming a romantic bond and the engagement)

 

[dobieman0488]

I think courting also involves more involvement of the families of the guy and the girl, they take things slowly, and see one another with the intentiuon of marriage or seeing if they are a good fit for each other to marry

 

[KingCrimson250]

I think courting also involves more involvement of the families of the guy and the girl, they take things slowly, and see one another with the intentiuon of marriage or seeing if they are a good fit for each other to marry

Maybe, but dating could just as easily encompass that as well, again implying an unecessary distinction.

 

[SiyoNqoba]

Well, I'm certainly not going to use Wikipedia as a source

I'm sorry, I don't remember my source. I studied sexual history at university. I am talking recent, like early-mid 20th century. I'm not meaning high-school age kids, I'm talking about young adults. Dating certainly wasn't a "let's get together and see if we want to get married" sort of thing, it was a social ocasion in which some sort of sexual favour was expected in return.

 

[The Nihilist]

What university?

 

[KingCrimson250]

EDIT: Thanks, sorry if I came across a bit impolite. It just rubbed me the wrong way, is all.

 

[Windmill]

Well, I'm certainly not going to use Wikipedia as a source

I'm sorry, I don't remember my source. I studied sexual history at university. I am talking recent, like early-mid 20th century. I'm not meaning high-school age kids, I'm talking about young adults. Dating certainly wasn't a "let's get together and see if we want to get married" sort of thing, it was a social ocasion in which some sort of sexual favour was expected in return.

Wikipedia uses sources to back up its facts. I could link you to those instead.

Whatever class you took, that is just completely off. Kids would have multiple dates during the week. There would've been flirting, but sexual activity expected? Heck no, otherwise those kids would've been rabbits. And ask people who lived back then- they'll tell you that it wasn't rabbit sex hunting season.

And, even if that were true- it doesn't mean that today, so this really has no relevance anyway

I think courting also involves more involvement of the families of the guy and the girl, they take things slowly, and see one another with the intentiuon of marriage or seeing if they are a good fit for each other to marry

See this is an example of the misconception I was talking about. Understandably he's come to think that courting is a conservative matter. There is nothing conservative about courting, it can be done conservatively though if you choose.

 

[Luther073082]

Well, I'm certainly not going to use Wikipedia as a source

In terms of defining a word, Wikipedia is just as good as any dictionary. Because both determine the meanings of words based on what people think they mean.

I'm sorry, I don't remember my source. I studied sexual history at university. I am talking recent, like early-mid 20th century. I'm not meaning high-school age kids, I'm talking about young adults. Dating certainly wasn't a "let's get together and see if we want to get married" sort of thing, it was a social ocasion in which some sort of sexual favour was expected in return.

Well I grew up in the 1980's and the 1990's. And my impression of dating was not that there was a necessary sexual return.

I only learned about this idea of expecting sex after a date after I became a Christian and started running into Christians who are into the whole purity fad. In all likelyhood almost all of it came from one book too.

Christians came up with the idea of dating equaling sex.

I should come up with some new legalistic idea of what every Christian should do to make them "more pure". Maybe something like not hugging or not touching. Or maybe I'll change the name of something. . . you know I could change engagement into "betrothal", because most engaged people have sex in the western world.

Maybe I'll bring back the idea of parents selecting your spouse. One that you won't see til the day you get married. Because if you look at them and start thinking about things before you are married. You wouldn't be pure.

(Sorry but so much of this stuff gets so ridiculous)