Courting Issues and Relationship Help

[AnthonyForChrist]

I have a problem. A friend and I met a year ago and we both agree it appears that the Lord has brought us together, due to strange circumstances. However, it has been a few months and we've seriously been considering that we might eventually become married. However, we have fallen deeply in love and the infatuation has become intense. Our circumstances prevent us from pursuing any kind of romantic relationship (considering we live hundreds of miles apart), and the "obssession," if you will has become so intense that we feel it is taking our eyes of our spiritual life. Not in the sense that we are disobeying God's commandments through inappropriate actions or whatnot, but we both feel now is where we both have to grow in the Lord. We are both in our fomative stages spiritually, and having a romantic relationship is simply not feasible even though we want want one very badly. We've decided not to talk for a couple weeks and refocus ourselves on spiritual issues and keeping Jesus as the focus. I'm having a hard time with this. I keep thinking about this person constantly, and keep wondering if this is really my soulmate, as we think we may be. Is it normal for God to bring two people together just to seperate them? This really bothers me because I've never met a girl like this before and am afraid of losing her because if we would be together it couldn't be for another few years. What am I going to do? I'm really struggling in my relationship with the Lord (I want to love Him completely, but I desperately want this question answered) and my circumstances, but I can't get this issue off my mind, no matter how hard I try. Any advice?

 

[Warrior Poet]

Kinda know where you are comming from. First and foremost as you already said you need God first, which means work on you and Him. The struggle you are going through to put him there is just part of growing up, so is the struggle with "love". IMO heres where it has to be, FRIENDS, the circumstances that brought you two together did just that, strange or not you two crossed each others path. Keep "a" relationship and stop considering the persuit of one at this given point. You arent going to lose her if you never really had her, and if she meets someone else pray for her happiness. Now what are you going to do? Live life, the world and your life doesnt stop over heartache, you need to keep doing what you are doing to make a life and create the man you need to be for either this girl or any future woman you decide to make your wife. This isnt "out of your hands" persay, but from the sounds of it you dont have full control over the situation and you are letting it bother you, this is gonna eat you up.
Be honest with her tell her how amazing she is and how highly you think of her, continue the friendship but be clear that under any other circumstance you would really want to be with her, the choice to remain exclusive at that point is yours and hers, it doesnt need to be said it can however be very known. I feel for ya man, I met a great girl that I wish had happened under different circumstances, but im not going anywhere she knows that we are friends first and if the time is ever right and things work out in our favor then so be it, no rush, no pressure, and for the time in between WE LIVE OUR LIVES AS WE KNOW IT, I would recommend the same to you.

Warrior Poet

 

[Katty]

I sorta know where you're coming from also. Like WP said, you know where to start and that’s you and God. That doesn't mean that you have to put her on the back burner. She can still have a part in your life but you both need to realize where you need to stand in one another's worlds. You can't be each other's top priorities. Reassure her that you're not going anywhere and that you still care about her (girls need that reassurance from time to time ). Let this be what it should be... a great friendship that *could* lead to more if the time and moment presents itself. Don't run and chase after that possibility. Good (*GREAT*) things come to those who wait.



While you *can't be* aren't "together", be the guy that she calls when she's in tears and can't even make clear enough thoughts, be the guy she calls when she's had a bad day and wants to rant about it, be the guy she calls when she's had a great day and just wants to laugh about it, be the guy that knows what makes her smile, and be the guy who brings that sparkle to her eye when your name leaves her lips (). Work on who you are and let her work on herself also. Friendship with no strings attached. Let friendship be the base of this "relationship" and let that friendship base itself on God. There’s no way that kind of friendship could ever fail.



Like I said, I sorta know what you’re going through. I’ve also met an incredible guy and he’s truly awesome, and we both know where we stand in one another’s worlds. We don’t push for more than what needs to be there at the present moment. Just because we aren’t “together” doesn’t hinder the fact that he’s the guy I call whenever I need to cry, laugh, or smile, and he’s even the guy whose name brings the sparkle to my eye. We both do what we gotta do and we understand that it’s what should be done. It keeps us both sane hehe.



~Katty~

 

[LifeInYou]

Is it normal for God to bring two people together just to seperate them?

I have a different perspective on the theory of soulmates, if you want to read some of my posts just click on my profile and go to the links.

You've met one another, and you both are choosing to make you're feelings for one another what they are. Love is a choice. If we have the ability to choose someone, we also have the ability to 'unchoose' them (i.e. you both may part eventually). If you let your relationship continue on this path of obsession the pain is going to be extruciating if you too do eventually part. (Often times these relationships do abruptly end because one partner feels suffocated after awhile) If and when this does happen I believe God will use this painful experience in your life to bring you back to Him, which should be your first love.

Don't allow your 'heavenly' feelings for this woman to take the place of the Lord of your life, things never turn out well when people do this.

 

[DaveKerwin]

Here is what you do: Don't call her until the few weeks are over. Oh, and try relaxing. If it was a mutual agreement to step it down a bit, then don't sweat it. If she would so quickly forget about you, then you don't want her anyhow. You are in a great situation right now, don't change it. And put some of this effort towards your realtionship with God, wasn't that the whole point of the break????

How old are you?