Count me in

[CrystalBrooke]

My husband and I have finally seperated for good and will be filing for divorce soon. I must say that as far as seperations go, this had been the smoothest one I've ever seen. We split out stuff up by ourself (we didn't have much) and we worked out a schedual for our daughter. We're not fighting over anything, I think we're being incredibly civil..he even wished me a happy birthday today.

I've not been this content and happy in a long time. I just pray that my daughter will be ok. She's nearly 2, so I think she'll be ok. I was 3 or 4 when my parents divorced and I don't remember anything.

 

[Autumnleaf]

My husband and I have finally seperated for good and will be filing for divorce soon. I must say that as far as seperations go, this had been the smoothest one I've ever seen. We split out stuff up by ourself (we didn't have much) and we worked out a schedual for our daughter. We're not fighting over anything, I think we're being incredibly civil..he even wished me a happy birthday today.

I've not been this content and happy in a long time. I just pray that my daughter will be ok. She's nearly 2, so I think she'll be ok. I was 3 or 4 when my parents divorced and I don't remember anything.

My parents divorced when I was around 4. The only thing I remember much about the time was my new step father beating my mother by the kitchen door and wishing I knew which numbers on the phone to dial so I could call my dad.

Semper fidelis

 

[Sign Of The Fish Burger]

I'm sorry to hear this Crystal. I'm glad you both feel at peace about it all I can't imagine how scared you must be. Just know that you're in my thoughts and prayers. Though I've never gone through divorce if you ever need an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on please don't hesitate to PM me. And I mean that too chica

 

[deliciousBass]

My husband and I have finally seperated for good and will be filing for divorce soon. I must say that as far as seperations go, this had been the smoothest one I've ever seen. We split out stuff up by ourself (we didn't have much) and we worked out a schedual for our daughter. We're not fighting over anything, I think we're being incredibly civil..he even wished me a happy birthday today.

I've not been this content and happy in a long time. I just pray that my daughter will be ok. She's nearly 2, so I think she'll be ok. I was 3 or 4 when my parents divorced and I don't remember anything.

As far as the schedule for your daughter goes, did you go through the courts for that and get a visitation agreement drawn up? Also, have you gone through your states Child Support Enforcement Agency? I think those are both good things that you can do to protect yourself just in case things aren't so civil down the road...

Also, how long have ya'll been seperated? I know that here in Virginia, my ex had to wait a year before our divorce was finalized.

 

[CrystalBrooke]

We haven't filed yet, but when we go we're going to make sure our schedual is known and have them write it up so there is legal proof of an agreement so just in case, like you said, things aren't so civil later. It's only been a weekend since I moved out for good...but I think it's 6 months in my state unless you're fighting over custody or property.

 

[Autumnleaf]

When I was dating my wife I met two high school sweet hearts she was related to who were deeply in love. I remember thinking that if I wasn't dating my wife I would steal this cute girl from the guy she was with because she was hot and they both seemed naive. I wasn't a very nice guy back then...

They got married, had a daughter, and some guy-who I'm told looked like me- ended up getting her to cheat on her husband and she left him. The dad ended up marrying an older woman nurse who allegedly poisoned the daughter to death. Now the new wife is having babies with the old husband and the old wife has moved on with another man who she got pregnant by 'accidentally'.

When a marriage fails the results are usually bad from what I have seen.

 

[CrystalBrooke]

Well that's your experience. I know divorced people who didn't have their children poisoned, so it doesn't always end up so badly as what you'd like for me to think.

 

[deliciousBass]

Apparently, in Kentucky, a divorce decree can be entered as soon as 60 days of seperation. That's insane, I wish we had that. It was a year here for me to wait before I could even file.

They do that for a reason though... lots of times people get caught up in the heat of the moment and they like to give people time to cool down... two months really isn't long enough if you ask me. I think the year long waiting period is realistic... I'm sure lots of marriages are restored in the additional 10 months waiting period.

And I think pretty much everyone agrees that divorce is bad but there truly are some cases in which people can not help it so lets not bring people down about it.. I think Autumnleaf has some truth to his in which the results are usually bad (which is largely subjective and it depends on the reasons for divorce if you ask me) but the results don't HAVE to be bad as long as you both make good decisions afterwards..

Like be careful who you date, especially if you have a daughter. The rate of sexual abuse from step-fathers is sky high.

 

[Tink04]

Way to be supportive. I really think CF should limit who posts here to people actually going through divorce/separation because of all the negativity surrounding it.

~ Lynn

I think AutumnLeaf has a chip on his shoulder. It seems he's like this everywhere on the board.

I wouldn't want them to limit to only those who are going through it. I like to hear from people like Faithful wife who have been there.

I don't even mind comments that are slightly negative, as long as they are being sensitive to the person they are speaking to.

 

[SearcherKris]

There is no waiting period here in TX. You don't even have to be separated to file for divorce. About sixty days after the filing, if there is no contest, then the divorce is final.

So theorectically, two months after deciding that you want to sign the "I don't anymore," you could be free of the marriage altogether.

This happened to my cousin. She left on a Friday afternoon to spend the weekend with her family, and her husband called her the next moring to tell her that her things were on the front porch. Monday afternoon she was served with papers. She did not see him again until they were in court. And she has only seen him a handful of times since then.

Later, he told her that he did not mean to divorce her. He did not think it would be that easy, and he thought she would fight to keep the marriage. She didn't. She let him move on, and she got on with her life.

 

[Autumnleaf]

Way to be supportive. I really think CF should limit who posts here to people actually going through divorce/seperation because of all the negativity surrounding it.

~ Lynn

There are things that can happen from divorce other than the initial feeling of freedom during separation. Very bad things.

 

[deliciousBass]

There are things that can happen from divorce other than the initial feeling of freedom during separation. Very bad things.

I have to agree with this... for a lot of people the fantasy is often better than the reality...

 

[SearcherKris]

Sure there are bad things that can and do happen because of divorce. But that does not make each incident of divorce a worst case sinario. Many of the bad things that come about after divorce can be avoided if people would make wise choices.

Also, on the flip side, divorce can be much better than staying married, depending on what has caused the divorce.

 

[ShainaBrina]

There is an assumption by some that people divorce on a whim. Nobody wants their relationships to fail.

There are very bad things that can happen as a result of marriage too.

 

[Linnis]

I doubt anyone plans to get divorced when they go into a marriage.

I'm glad you are content with your decision, Crystal Brooke. I don't know if I should say sorry or not so yeah.

I think whatever happens you will be the stable constant in your daughter's life. Whatever happens she will always have you, you will be her rock no matter what. So she'll be fine.